


Recovery

by SimplyKorra



Series: Seeking Balance [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Disability, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 67,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3886015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyKorra/pseuds/SimplyKorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Korra's life was torn apart by the Red Lotus. She was a shell of her former self. Trapped in her own body and struggling to find a way out. </p><p>Asami was simply trying to sort out her feelings. To understand the desperate need she had to take care of Korra. </p><p>Post Book Three - If Korra said yes to Asami's request to follow her to the South Pole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Jtav for some of the inspiration for this idea.
> 
> I'm not planning on pulling any punches with this. Korra's recovery from the Red Lotus had to have been really hard and I want to show that.

Warm days at the South Pole weren’t exactly what Asami was accustomed to. Still, there certainly wasn’t any lack for beautiful views and when the sun was shining, Harbor City was always lively.

It was a good day, they had experienced more good days than bad lately, which had Asami feeling better in general.

“Mako sent a letter.” Asami said, staring off at a few kids throwing snow at one another.

Korra groaned. “His letters are so boring.” She said, laughing a bit. “I’m glad he writes but I don’t care about the weather.”

“Sunny,” Asami started, mimicking his voice. “Seventy-four degrees. Possible chance of rain tomorrow, according to the radio.”

“We shouldn’t poke fun,” Korra laughed. “We both dated him.” Korra groaned as she strained to look up at Asami above her “You know the worst part about all this is that we can’t talk to each other.” Korra said.

Asami stopped pushing and glanced down. “We’re talking right now.” She grinned.

“I know, but it's…awkward.” Korra shrugged, reaching down to shift one of her legs a bit.

“I thought awkward was your specialty?” Asami teased, leaning down to whisper into Korra’s ear. “I mean I _did_ catch you staring at my butt when I was cooking you dinner last night.”

Korra’s face went completely red. “I—I wasn’t.”

“Oh Korra,” Asami kissed her cheek. “Your mom saw you doing it too.”

“Spirits,” Korra buried her face in her hands and Asami continued pushing her towards their destination. “You know I’m sitting down all the time so I’m like… _always_ at eye level with butts!” Korra defended. Asami bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Just butts, all the time. Right in my face.”

“Yes, but Korra, I was halfway across the room when you were looking at my butt.”

With a huff, Korra crossed her arms and pouted. “Fine, then I’ll never look at your butt again.”

As they reached a newsstand, Asami stopped pushing again and squeezed Korra’s shoulder. “We both know that’s not true,” she said, but was a bit distracted by the varying newspapers and magazines staring back at her.

Asami felt Korra grab her hand and give it a soft squeeze.  Her grip was nothing compared to what it used to be. Once strong enough to hold the world together, now barely enough to keep a tight hold on her utensils when she ate. It was little things like that which always brought Asami back down to earth when it came to Korra, reminding her far Korra still had to go.

Korra said something, but Asami didn’t hear it. Instead her eyes dropped onto the latest newspaper from Republic City. There was a picture of a man, standing proudly next to President Raiko in front of a very large construction site.

_REPUBLIC CITY RECONSTRUCTION — OVERSEEN BY NEW CEO OF FUTURE INDUSTRIES_

It would have been easier to turn around and keep moving, but Asami couldn’t help herself. She reached out and grabbed the paper, reading the short teaser article on the front page.

_President Raiko has been singing the praises of Future Industries for weeks leading up to the start of reconstruction within the city. Newly appointed Future Industries CEO Ken Hayashi has been given the president’s full support — **cont. p7**_

Asami knew it was fruitless to give any thought to this. It’s not as if she could go back and reclaim her—the company. She didn’t want to, her life was different now. Everything was different now.

She put the paper back on the newsstand and returned to Korra. “Any magazines you want?” Asami asked, looking down to see that Korra was staring at the same paper Asami had just put back on the shelf. “Korra?”

“Hmm,” This drew Korra’s eyes to her. “No, I—I’m okay.”

Asami smiled brightly. “Great, let’s go get some breakfast.”

Kumagoro was one of the more popular places to eat in the South. They served a wide variety of foods, mostly specializing in fish and noodles. The latter of which being Korra’s favorite meal at any given time in the day.

As they stepped inside, Asami scanned the area. It wasn’t overly crowded but it would be nice to put Korra somewhere out of the way, so no one tripped over her chair. She found a place toward the right side and stepped around Korra to move a chair out of the way. She then slid Korra up to the table before pushing the metal brakes into her tires.

“Do you want to take your jacket off? It’s kinda warm in here,” Asami asked, taking her own coat off.

Korra looked around a bit, Asami followed her gaze and saw another customer, an older man, at a table across the room glancing over at them. Asami made it a point to take a step between Korra and the man’s eyes.

“I’m okay,” Korra said softly.

Asami smiled down at her. “Korra, you’re a human heater. I know this place is too warm for you.”

“Oh alright,” Korra couldn’t help but smile at Asami’s stance above her. Hand on her hip, knowing Korra far too well. She lifted her arms and started pulling one out of the sleeve.

It was a delicate balance, to decide when to let Korra do things on her own and when to step in and help her. Korra was getting stronger, no doubt about that, but she had such a long ways to go. Asami wanted Korra to feel independent as often as possible. So she reached down and grabbed the end of the sleeve, holding it up as Korra slowly tugged her arm free.

Once the coat was off and Asami draped it across the back of Korra’s wheelchair, she turned back to see that the man was still sending glances in their direction.

Often times people would recognize Korra, but then immediately brush it off because Korra was the avatar, and the avatar couldn’t possibly be in such a state. It drove Asami crazy. It was the hardest part of going outside, for her: this idea that Korra wasn’t the same person because she was in a chair. The audacity that people would think less of her for it.

If Asami had to hear one more phone call on the radio about the world needing a ‘proper’ avatar she was going to lose her mind, because as she sat down across the table, she could only see Korra. Beautiful Korra who she cared about so much, sitting in her chair, reading through the menu even though she knew exactly what she was going order. Korra, just a girl, dealing with so much and fighting so hard, having to deal with the knowledge that the world was merely waiting for her so they could throw her to the wolves again.

Asami forced herself to stop, to focus on today and the fact that Korra wanted to go out and eat with her. It was a good day, she needed to treat it as such.

Just as Asami was about to announce her breakfast choice, Korra sat her menu down and sighed.

“Sami?” She was hesitant, her voice barely carrying across the table. “I saw the paper you were reading. The stuff about Future Industries.”

Asami smiled, setting her menu down. She shrugged. “It makes sense. The city needed refurbishing even _before_ we left. Future Industries has the capabilities to do that.”

A sorrowed expression crossed Korra’s face, one Asami knew all to well. She sighed and lowered her head, dark hair falling across her face.

“Asami,” Korra looked up, her eyes shimmering. “Can I ask you a serious question? No brush off, no white lies. Just…tell me the truth?”

“Of course,”

Korra nodded, taking a deep breath. “Do you have any regrets about coming to the South with me? About giving up so much…for me?”

Asami gave a thoughtful look, staring into the blue eyes she’d come to know so well over the last six months.


	2. The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day after the fight with the Red Lotus. Korra is in bad shape and Asami is done denying that she is falling for her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you mixberkaan for helping me sort out this mess!

**Six Months Earlier**

Asami was exhausted. She’d flown all night to bring everyone back to Republic City. The events of their fight with the Red Lotus was brutal. Everyone was in need of a night in a safe place. Asami had to fight through her own tiredness to give them that. Her body ached, her mind was frazzled, and she just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep for twenty-four hours.

Instead she found herself sitting in Tenzin’s kitchen, sipping lukewarm tea, and quietly crying in the middle of the night by herself.

Korra was hurt, _really_ hurt. She knew it when Tonraq carried her onto and then off of the airship. If Korra was capable of walking, she would have found a way. That’s who Korra was, strong, dismissive of help if she could handle it.

It was hard for Asami to look in from the outside. She wasn’t a priority in Korra’s life, not compared to her family or Tenzin, so she could only do her part, fly the ship, and wait for her chance to see Korra.

Asami wasn’t dense, she knew her feelings for Korra had shifted in that desert. The way she felt when the Earth Queen’s forces came after them. It was pure disappointment. She was supposed to protect Korra and she failed. Asami Sato never failed. That wasn’t even what mattered though, she had failed Korra.

They were so callous with her, too, dragging her around like she was nothing---like she carried no value at all. They tied her up, stuck her in that box strapped in by countless belts and latches. Put a mask over her face and Asami remembered a few of them chuckling about how _‘cute’_ she was.

It made her sick, it made hurting them easy when she made her escape and freed Korra.

It wasn’t until later, when Korra made the decision to turn herself over to the Red Lotus, that Asami realized she wanted to kiss her best friend.

Taking a deep breath, Asami noticed her vision was blurring a bit. She really needed to find a place to lay down, and the temple was certainly not lacking in beds

Once Asami decided she wasn’t going to drink her tea, she stood up and took her cup to the sink. As she poured out the remaining tea, her grip gave out and the cup slipped from her hand. It fell hard into the sink, shattering into pieces.

“ _Shit_ ,” she cursed, grabbing the edge of the sink. Asami closed her eyes and took a long, drawn out breath. She needed to sleep, she needed to calm down but her stomach was knotted with so much worry.

Exhaling a few times, Asami forced herself to relax, carefully picked up the broken pieces of the cup and threw them away. She washed her hands and went back to her seat at the counter.

Reaching down, she slipped off her boots and carefully placed them on the table. It was late, most everyone was asleep, she didn’t need to be making unnecessary noise.

With her boots off, Asami’s soft feet slid across the hard floor of the foyer as she went to where they’d put Korra.

Asami wasn’t sure if she’d be able to see Korra; her father hadn’t left her side and Senna would be arriving tomorrow.

The hallway was quiet, She was glad she’d removed her boots. There was only one light on, at the end door. She knew Korra was in there and that knowledge made it hard for Asami to keep moving. She was afraid if she saw Korra, in whatever condition she might be in, she would burst through the door and no one would be able to make her leave.

When she finally got her legs moving again, Asami stopped at the sound of a muffled voice through the door.

“She can’t feel anything?” Tenzin, he sounded as tired as Asami felt.

“No,” Tonraq’s deep voice echoed through the door. “Not in her legs, but the rest of her is in tremendous pain. She can barely move. Thank the spirits Kya was able to help her sleep.”

Asami winced, the image of Korra in pain searing into her mind.

She didn’t know what to do. It felt wrong to listen in, but she wanted to see Korra. Still, she couldn’t knock. What if Korra woke up? She would wake up in pain and Asami didn’t want that.

So she turned around and continued her search for a bed.

It took a little while to finally find an empty spot to lie down, but when she did, Asami didn’t even bother to take her jacket off.

Her mind was wrought with unwanted thoughts. Images of Korra in her father’s arms, dying. It was as helpless as she’d felt when her mother died. It was poison and monsters, things she read about it books as a child: all of these horrible people trying to tear down a girl who was barely starting her life.

It made her furious. She was mad at them, mad at Tenzin and Tonraq for letting her go. For not stopping her, for not realizing how important her life was. Fuck the avatar. Fuck the responsibilities. She was a girl, a girl who deserved a full and happy life.

Asami gripped her hair, rolling over and curling into a ball. She just needed to sleep, things would be better in the morning.

She closed her eyes, fighting to keep the images of Korra from her mind.

———

The heavy thud of footsteps rushing past her door woke Asami up the next morning. It was light outside, the sun was peering in through the window above her.

She was about to fall back asleep when another pair of weighted, rapid footsteps ran by.

_Korra._

There was nothing else it could be.

Asami rolled off the bed and found her footing, slipping a bit as her bare feet slid across the floor. She stepped into the hall and looked out to see Bolin and Opal both standing outside Korra’s door. Opal leaning against Bolin who looked completely distraught.

“What’s going on?” Asami asked, walking towards them quickly.

Bolin sighed. “You didn’t hear her?” He asked, his face pale. Asami shook her head. “She was screaming for help. I thought it was my own nightmare. It woke Opal up though and she made us come here. We were about to go in when Tonraq showed up and nearly knocked me into the wall. He’s in with her now.”

“Dad, it hurts!” Korra cried through the door and Asami had to cover her mouth to hide a sob. It was the first time she’d heard Korra’s voice in twenty-four hours.

Asami moved around Bolin and stood in front of the door, hesitantly reaching for it.

“I don’t know if you should.” Opal said softly.

“We need Kya!” Tonraq said, and a moment later he was opening Korra’s door and Asami stumbled backwards out of his way.

“Excuse me,” Asami mumbled as Tonraq ran past her and down the hall.

That left the door open, and Asami saw her.

Korra was lying on a bed, her legs covered with a white sheet. She was wearing a ragged tank top. There were spots of dirt and even a few streaks of dried blood along the side from her fight with Zaheer. Korra’s hair was down, it was messy and tangled. The two wolf tails she had along the sides were still there, but those too had been disheveled. She had dark circles under her eyes, her face still banged up and bruised from the fight.

Tenzin was sitting next to her, holding her hand as she cried, face scrunched up in agony. Something wasn’t right. Why was she in so much pain?

Steeling herself, Asami walked through the door. “Korra,” she called, drawing a pair of blue eyes in her direction. Somehow, seeing Asami only made Korra cry harder.

Asami pulled a chair up and sat down right next to Korra’s bed. She barely had to lean in before Korra shifted her body and laid her head on Asami’s shoulder. The hand Tenzin had been holding now rested on Asami’s elbow.

A weight lifted off of Asami’s chest as Korra clung to her. She was here now, Korra had seen her, Korra had welcomed her presence and now Asami was settled.

She would not be leaving Korra from this moment on.

“It hurts,” Korra whispered into Asami’s shoulder.

Gently, Asami ran her hand up and down Korra’s back. “I know, I know. Kya’s coming to help.”

Asami met Tenzin’s eyes over Korra and he nodded at her. Clearly appreciating her presence as much as Korra did. Tenzin was wonderful, but he wasn’t the best at comforting. Asami could do this, she could hold Korra as she cried and soothe her with tender touches and soft words.

She wanted to.

When Tonraq returned, Asami looked back at him as she continued to hold his daughter. He stared at her curiously for a moment, but then saw that Korra had relaxed a bit and smiled weakly.

“Okay,” Kya stepped into the room, holding a pouch of water. “Asami, may I take your seat?”

“Of course,” Asami carefully pulled Korra off. She stood up to move, but felt a hand on her wrist.

“Don’t go,” Korra pleaded.

Asami shook her head quickly. “I’m not. I’ll just go on the other side and get out of the way.” She smiled, stepping away from Korra as Kya took her spot.

Tenzin stood to accommodate Asami moving around the bed.

“Alright, Korra,” Kya started. “You tell me where it hurts and I’ll see what I can do. Give me a starting point.”

Korra sighed and took a shaky breath. “My back I guess. It feels like my insides are on fire, but my back--I can barely move.”

“Okay. I’m gonna need you to lean forward then. You think you can?”

“You heard me just say I can barely move, right?” Korra said, a tiny hint of sarcasm seeping through. Asami couldn’t help but smile.

Kya let out a laugh and nodded. “Alright, Asami? You think you can give us a hand?”

“I’d love to,”

“Can you get on the bed and let Korra lean into you?”

Asami nodded before she had really figured out exactly how she was going to do this. She glanced up, remembering that both Tonraq and Tenzin were still in the room

With all the athletic skill she had built up through the years, she somehow managed to climb onto the bed and neither hurt Korra or fall over the other side.

Now, she was straddling Korra’s legs and looking right into her face. She smiled as brightly as she could.

“Hey beautiful,” Asami said, not sure where the nickname came from.

Korra grinned softly, tears still in her eyes.

“Okay, we’re gonna lean you forward now Korra. Asami will hold you steady.” With a nod, Kya helped Korra up off the pillow.

“Ow, ow, ow…” Korra whimpered, her body tensing with each inch she moved. “I _can’t.”_ She cried

“Hey,” Asami called, reaching out to touch Korra’s cheek. “I’ve got you. You’ll feel better when Kya starts working. Come on, lean into me.”

With her big, beautiful blue eyes staring at Asami, Korra nodded and found the strength to sit up the rest of the way. Eventually, she was leaning into Asami’s shoulder.

“Korra, we’re gonna have to take your shirt off.” Kya turned back to Tonraq. “You boys gotta go.” She said matter-of-factly and Tonraq nodded.

“I’ll be right outside, sweetheart.” He spoke softly as Korra turned her head on Asami’s shoulder to look at him.

“I love you, Dad.” She whispered, a weight in her words Asami felt deep in her stomach.

“I should go check on my children,” Tenzin said, nearly falling over as he stood up and tried to move before his legs were ready. “I’ll be by later, Korra.” He offered before following Korra’s father outside.

When the door closed behind them, Asami looked to Kya who silently answered the question Asami had and Asami placed her hands on Korra’s shoulders.

“I’m gonna sit you up a little, okay? So we can get your shirt off.”

Korra’s expression was different now, not as much pain as it was sadness, maybe even embarrassment. Still, she nodded and winced a bit when Asami moved her.

Kya lifted up Korra’s tank top from the bottom and once it was high enough, Asami finished the job and pulled it over Korra’s head. Her fingers lightly ran along Korra’s strong, bare shoulders as she slipped the shirt down her arms and placed it in the seat next to the bed.

Now Korra sat in nothing but her chest bindings, which were torn in some places and barely holding together. Asami looked at Kya with the question in her eyes.

“I think we can keep these on.” Kya said with a smile. Asami watched as Korra visibly relaxed. “Lean forward again, Korra.” She did, once more dropping her head on Asami’s shoulder.

As Kya drew the water from the pouch, Asami watched it skillfully drape across the expanse of Korra’s defined back muscles.

Asami’s heart was racing at the contact between herself and Korra. The circumstance was certainly improper and she knew it, but being this close to Korra was amazing.

There wasn’t much she could do other than hold Korra up, so she used her free hand to lovingly stroke through Korra’s hair. At first she didn’t even know she was doing it, but once she realized and Korra hadn’t told her to stop, she continued.

Occasionally, Kya would find a spot on Korra’s back that the water seemed to linger over. Korra would cry out and press into Asami more when this happened. Kya’s eyebrows were tightly scrunched together. She was focused, but clearly unsettled by what the healing was telling her.

Korra’s body was a mess. Asami _hated_ Zaheer. She wondered how much money it would cost to make sure he didn’t live long enough to find whatever hole they were planning to stick him into.

About ten minutes passed as Kya worked over the expanse of Korra’s back. She was precise and consistent with every effort she made to ease Korra’s pain. Asami wasn’t exactly sure how healing with water worked, she’d seen Korra do it before and knew it could soothe cuts and scrapes, but most of Korra’s deeper bruises from the fight were already gone, left now were only faint marks and a few scratches along her cheek. Whatever was hurting was internal. The fact that she couldn’t walk pointed to a spine injury, and the sensitivity of her upper body meant she probably had a few broken ribs.

“Okay,” Kya said, pulling the water from Korra’s back. Both of Asami’s legs were asleep, she shifted a bit and looked at the girl on her shoulder. Korra’s breathing had evened out and she was fast asleep on Asami’s shoulder. “Looks like you make her comfortable.” Kya said, grinning at Asami who blushed a little. “Come on, I’ll help you lie her down.”

Between the two of them, they carefully settled Korra back onto the mattress. Kya supported her back while Asami cradled her head. The motion drew Asami almost on top of Korra. She used a hand to keep herself elevated over the sleeping girl, but her face was just inches away from Korra’s.

It allowed her to really take in the softness of Korra’s skin, how beautiful she was when she was asleep. Her eyes closed, her mouth open just a bit. Asami bit her lip to try and force herself to stop hovering over Korra.

When she remembered that Kya was still there, watching them both, Asami quickly pulled away and slid off the bed. When she did, her still numb legs weren’t prepared for the weight and she fell into the wall.

“Dammit,” she whispered, laughing softly at herself as Kya rose up to check on her. “I’m fine,” she waved Kya off. “Legs just fell asleep.”

Kya smiled, gesturing for Asami to follow her out of the room. She did, shaking her legs between steps to wake them up. Once they were outside, Kya closed the door just a bit behind them.

“You were a trooper in there with her.”

Asami merely shrugged. “It’s just Korra.” She found herself chuckling. “If she needs me for something, I’ll be there.”

“Just like that?” Kya pressed, tilting her head with a slight smirk. The look in her eyes tore down every single one of Asami’s barriers.

“You can _tell?”_ Asami asked, her voice dropping to barely a whisper.

Kya shrugged. “I have a way with these things. Plus you looked like you wanted to kiss her the entire time you were in there.”

With a slow exhale, Asami moved back to the wall behind her and rested against it. “I—I can’t stop thinking about her. Even before all of this. I don’t even know where it came from but she’s on my mind _all_ the time.”

“Well for what it’s worth, I think you’re really good for her. Especially now.” Kya smiled, genuinely and Asami shook her head.

“There’s no time for any of that right now, all I want is for her to get better.”

Kya only smiled more. “Then I stand by my point. I’m going to go get changed, Tonraq damn near pulled me out of bed before I could put on any real clothes.”

“Okay, I need to go talk to Tenzin anyways.”

Asami watched as Kya shuffled down the hall and turned the corner. A moment later, Tenzin and Tonraq both rounded the corner and raced to Asami’s side when they saw her.

“Is she okay?” Tonraq asked, his presence looming over Asami, but his tired, worried eyes made her want to hug him.

"No, not...not really,” Asami smiled. “She’s asleep now though, at least, Kya helped her relax.”

Tonraq sighed with a nod. “Thank you, Asami.” He patted her on the shoulder once before stepping around her and returning to his daughter’s room.

“Tenzin?” Asami called, drawing the airbender’s attention. “Can I speak with you?”

“Of course,” he gestured for her to walk with him. “I was just about to call Suyin back and let her know we arrived home safely.”

“Good,” Asami followed him outside and suddenly remembered she still wasn’t wearing her boots when her bare feet touched the concrete outside. “Is Korra staying here?” She asked, walking stride for stride with Tenzin.

“I assume her father will ask her to come home, but we both know Korra. She’ll want to stay in Republic City as she recovers.”

Asami frowned. “How—do you think it’ll be easy? She seems like she’s in pretty bad shape.”

“She does,” Tenzin furrowed his brow. “Korra’s dealt with injury before, but I’ve never seen her so…”

“Broken?” Asami finished for him, his silence confirming that she said the word he couldn’t find. “I’m moving back in.” She said simply, but then her manners caught up with her. “If that’s okay, of course. I’d like to…stay. To help with Korra.”

Tenzin smiled. “Of course it’s okay. I just didn’t know you’d have time to—“

“I will always make time for Korra.” She asserted, following Tenzin into the outpost where the radio was.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He patted her shoulder. “Now, I should really call Suyin and see how things are in the Earth Kingdom. Did you need anything else?”

Asami shook her head. There was plenty she needed but nothing Tenzin could give her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to forgo the confusion with Asami, at least internally. She's got it bad for Korra.
> 
> Also Korra slammed into so many rocks and went through so much in her fight with Zaheer that there's no way her body wasn't a mess afterwards, even without the poison that no doubt did serious damage to her internally. Korra's got a ways to go, she's got help though ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading, let me know what you think.


	3. One Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra's body continues to betray her.

“Asami!” It sounded like a voice in a dream. Quiet and distant, calling out to her from across a field or a lake. “Asami! _Help_!” She rolled over, the world around her coming into focus. Asami was in her room at Air Temple Island. Korra had moved to her old room and Tenzin gave Asami the one right next to it.

“ _Asami_! _Please_!” That time Asami knew it wasn’t a dream. That was Korra, and her voice broke as she called out.

Her legs swung off the bed immediately, throwing the small blanket she had onto the floor. Asami stood up and slipped on said blanket, nearly falling over, before grabbing the frame of her bedroom door to balance.

It took her four strides to cross the hall into Korra’s room. The lights from outside the temple were dimly shining through the window. Asami could see her laying against her pillow, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Korra, are you okay?” She asked, moving to Korra’s side and immediately looking for any sign of injury. At Asami’s question, the dam broke. Korra started crying, her soft sobs filled the quiet room and only worried Asami more. “Korra, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”

Asami could see Korra trying to stop herself from crying. Trying to stop whatever fear or agony was overtaking her. She took a few short, quick breaths before slowing down and exhaling slowly.

She stared up at the ceiling, clearly working hard not to look at Asami. “I...had an accident.” She said, her voice was shaky and Asami could tell she was straining herself to keep from sobbing.

“Okay,” Asami knelt down next to her. She couldn’t do much, but she needed to know what Korra had hurt so she could tell Kya. “Is it your back? Your legs?”

“ _No_!” Korra barked, making Asami jump. “I’m not…” Korra bit down on her bottom lip. “It’s not that. I…I wet the bed.”

_Oh..._

Heat rose behind Asami’s eyes almost immediately. She couldn’t cry though, Korra was clearly embarrassed. Asami couldn’t let her believe it was anything more than that, an accident.

“Alright,” Asami reached out and wiped at Korra’s wet cheeks as the Avatar’s body tensed. “You need to breathe, sweetie. It’s okay, we’ll clean it up.”

Korra tensed. “It is _not_ okay.” She practically growled the words, still staring up at the ceiling. “I—I woke up and I knew I had to go but…I didn’t want to wake anyone up and when I tried to move I just…I couldn’t stop it.” Her face scrunched up again as another sob broke through. “Asami, I can’t _do this_!”

Taking Korra’s hand, Asami reached out with her other hand and touched Korra’s jaw. Gently, she turned Korra to look at her, a bright smile on her face.

“Yes you can. You’re the strongest person I know, Korra. You can get through this. So you had an accident. We’ll clean it up and figure out how to keep it from happening.” Korra tried to look away but Asami nudged her just a bit to keep looking at her. “Hey, we’ll fix it.”

Finally, Korra nodded, her eyes still swimming with tears but she seemed a little calmer.

Asami stood up, still holding Korra’s hand, and assessed the situation. She needed to change the bedding, but Korra would still be a mess. She had to clean her up, change the sheets and put Korra back to bed.

The truth was, she couldn’t do this all by herself.

Her face must have given this away. “Asami, I—I don’t want anyone to know.” Korra pleaded, gripping her hand tightly.

“I know, I know.” Korra’s room was a few doors down from the bathroom. She needed to get Korra into the tub and use that time to change the bedding. Still, her mind was racing with questions. Could she do all this without waking anyone? Would Korra be okay with Asami taking her clothes off? Was Korra even able to hold herself up in the tub?

No more than a few days ago Korra was a powerhouse fighting against dark forces to protect everyone she loved. How had it been torn away so fast?

“Okay,” Asami said again, more to herself than Korra. “Give me two minutes to go start the bath, then I’ll come back and get you, alright?”

Korra nodded slowly.

Trying to keep her steps soft, Asami went into the bathroom at the end of the hallway and started running water into the tub. It was loud, she knew that Korra wouldn’t want anyone seeing her like this. Asami now hoped it would stay between them as well. She would have to take Korra’s clothes off in bed and carry her in here, which was terrifying for a number of reasons, least of which was her own attraction. Though that meant nothing right now. It was all about trying make Korra comfortable. She had already had so much of her pride torn away in just a few days, Asami had to help her maintain something.

With the water running, Asami let out a heavy sigh and tried to draw her emotions in. Seeing Korra that way was one of the most heartbreaking things she had ever experienced. It brought with it more than sadness though, it filled her with anger, with hate. She wanted someone to pay for this. She wanted to step up to a podium in front of anyone who could hear her and scream at the injustice of a world that would allow this to happen to a hero like Korra.

It wasn’t fair.

The tub was half full when Asami knew she had to return to Korra. By the time she reentered the room however, there was someone else there hovering over the Avatar.

“Oh,” Asami balked, stopping mid stride as Senna stood next to her daughter’s bed. “I—I didn’t—“

“It’s okay, Asami.” Senna said, a smile on her face. “I just… _felt_ like something was wrong and came to check on her. I’m happy to help, if you want me too?” Senna turned to Korra who was hugging herself.

“Sure,” Korra sighed. “You already know I peed my pants like a baby, what does it matter now?”

Senna ran a hand through Korra’s hair, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’s not a big deal.”

Korra huffed, clearly disagreeing. Asami took a few steps towards the bed. “I uh—the tub is almost ready. I was going to get her out of her clothes and carry her in there.”

“Okay,” Senna nodded. “I’ll go check the water.” She smiled before leaving the room.

“Is…that okay with you, Korra?” Asami looked into Korra’s eyes. Always confirm it with Korra, she reminded herself. Always. Korra has the final say in anything and everything.

Swallowing sharply, Korra nodded as an embarrassed blush painted her cheeks. “Could you—I don’t want you to—“ she was struggling to find the words

“Hey,” Asami offered her best smile. “Just let me look into your pretty eyes, okay? Stare at me, I’ll keep eye contact. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Korra sighed and a tear spilled down her cheek. “Thank you.”

When she pulled the blankets down, Asami noticed the dark stain on the sheets, still, she never looked away from Korra’s eyes.

“Have I ever told you, that I love your hair when it’s down?”

A flicker of a smile crossed Korra’s lips as Asami pulled her pants down. “No I—I don’t think you have.” Korra shrugged. “I prefer it too but it’s inconvenient when I’m fighting.” She laughed to herself. “I couldn’t keep it out of my face when I was fighting Unalaq.”

Asami chuckled softly. “I know what you mean. I might need to start tying mine up when I know I’m going to be fighting. When we hit that cave the airbenders were locked in I kept getting it in my face, and the cave was damp so it was sticking to my head.”

“You can go faster,” Korra said, confusing Asami. “The underwear. I—I can’t feel my legs really, just tingles from the hips up. You can just pull them off. It won’t hurt me.”

“Oh,” Asami nodded, still looking into Korra’s eyes. She then pulled the underwear off the rest of the way and decided to just throw them out. By the time she returned to the side of the bed, Korra had moved both her hands down to cover herself. “If I sit you up will it hurt you?”

Korra shrugged. “A little I’m sure, but I won’t cry out.” Of course she won’t, Asami thought. She wouldn’t want to draw any attention.

Asami placed a hand behind Korra’s shoulders and carefully drew her up to a sitting position. Korra winced the entire way up, but once she was sitting Asami put a leg on the bed behind Korra to hold her up. She was surprised that Korra was supporting most of her own weight, at least sitting up.

“You’re holding yourself up better.”

“It’s mostly balance,” Korra said, her head cast down, staring at the mess on the bed. “I wouldn’t be able to do it for very long I don’t think.”

“Well,” Asami pulled Korra’s shirt up and over her head. Even though she couldn’t see her, Asami refused to look anywhere but at the back of Korra’s head. “You don’t have to,” The shirt was off and Asami discarded it to the floor. She stood back up, using her hand to keep Korra upright. “Do you want to keep your bindings on?”

Korra shook her head. “I need to take them off, they’re too tight and just… _pointless_ now. I’m not going to be fighting anytime soon.”

“Alright, do you want me to—“ she let her question linger.

“Can we do it in the tub?”

Asami nodded. “Of course.” Taking a deep breath, she slid her arm under Korra’s knees and kept the other behind her back. “If you feel _any_ pain let me know, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Asami echoed to herself. Korra reached out and hooked an arm over Asami’s neck. In one motion, Asami scooped her up off the bed.

A strange feeling crept over Asami as she carried Korra down the hallway. She couldn’t really explain it, but when Korra laid her head against Asami’s chest, it was like a warmth spread throughout her entire body. She was where she belonged. Not at all where she thought she would be, carrying the Avatar in her arms under these circumstances. Still, Asami had never felt more certain of her place in the world than she did right now.

Senna was sitting by the tub when they reached the bathroom. Thankfully no one else had woken up. A few candles had been lit by Korra’s mother to help them see in the night. A sadness washed over Senna’s face at the sight of her daughter so small in Asami’s arms.

“How do you want to do this?” Senna asked, standing up to give Asami room. There were a couple of steps that led to the tub, Asami wasn’t sure how she could lower Korra in without getting herself soaked in the process.

That was when an idea struck her. “Can you…go to the other side and help me put her in?”

“Of course,” Senna kissed Korra’s forehead before moving around to the other side of the tub.

Asami glanced down at Korra, who looked as if she were lost in her own mind. Staring aimlessly at Asami’s nightshirt, almost looking through her. Pretending she was somewhere else entirely.

The few steps up to the tub were the most difficult. Asami could carry Korra well enough but the stone steps were slippery with bare feet. Once she reached the top, Senna extended out her arms and hooked an arm under Korra’s back and then her legs as well.

Slowly, both women lowered Korra into the tub, Asami slowing as her elbow hit just to make sure it was an okay temperature. Soon enough, Korra was encased in the water and Asami gently placed her legs down before reaching up with both hands to support her head.

“You okay?” She asked, trying to draw Korra to look at her. The Avatar simply nodded and began gnawing at her bottom lip. “Can you sit up at all in here? The water should make it easier.”

Reaching back, Korra planted her hands at her sides against the bottom of the tub and tried to hold herself up. She wobbled a bit, but when Asami helped scoot her back against the edge, she was able to maintain balance and relax a little.

“Good, that’s _really_ good, Korra.” Senna cooed, running a hand up and down Korra’s arm.

Korra seemed less than impressed and Asami understood. She was sitting up in a bathtub, not much of a victory to a girl who once fought a giant spirit.

“I should clean up.” Korra said, reaching out and grabbing for the soap that rested against the side of the tub. She looked to Asami “Will you wash my hair?”

Asami smiled. “I’d love to, gives me a chance to play around with it.” She winked, remembering their conversation earlier. The grin Korra gave her was a reward she wanted to spend the rest of her life chasing.

“Well if you two are okay I think I’ll go fix up the bed.” Senna said, standing up again and brushing off her robe. “I’ll be back.” She squeezed Asami’s shoulder lightly before leaving.

It occurred to Asami that she just had one of the most private and intense experiences of her life with Korra’s mother, a woman that she didn’t even know that well. Still, she felt closer to now Senna than she could really explain.

“You don’t have to do this, you know?” Korra said as Asami ran a brush through her hair. “You _shouldn’t_ have to do this.”

“Come on, Korra, how long have you known me? I don’t ever do anything I don’t want to.”

Korra sighed. “Still, nobody should _have_ to carry me to the bathtub. Nobody should have seen me—“ she stopped herself, Asami didn’t say anything else, just brushed Korra’s hair as she washed herself as best she could. “I _can’t_ let this happen again,” Korra said defiantly. It almost made Asami smile to hear that angered tone. She wanted Korra to fight.

“We won’t let it. We just need a system. You shouldn’t be in that bed so much, you can sit up, with support. I just need to find a way to make it so you can sit up and move around.”

“ _You_ do?” Korra asked, turning to look up at Asami. The candlelight flickering against her blue eyes, subtly reminding Asami of how beautiful she was.

Asami laughed softly. “Of course _I_ do. Unless you want Tenzin to make you something out of _wicker_?” Another smile was given and Asami felt extremely accomplished. Korra looked away again, allowing Asami to continue brushing. “Okay, are you all good with the soap?” She asked, standing up a bit but still touching Korra’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Korra sighed, setting the soap down on the side of the tub. “It’s so weird to touch my legs and not _feel_ anything. I keep trying to wiggle my toes but they just sit there…useless.”

“Korra,” Asami grabbed for some shampoo. “You’ve got to give it some time. Kya says you are healing, even if it’s slow. You have a little feeling in your waist now right? Better control of your hands? You didn’t before.”

Korra groaned. “Great, I can hold a bar of soap without dropping it. Bring on Amon!” She tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a strained sob and Asami sat down on the step next to the tub to look at her. “Sorry,” Korra shook her head. “Pouting is stupid.”

“It isn’t,” Asami smiled. “If you want to pout, Korra. Do it. If you want to cry and scream and curse at the world, do it. It’s okay. I’m not going to tell you how to handle this. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it’s not as awful as it is.”

They were looking at one another for a while, nothing but the light of the candle moving between them. Asami wanted to tell Korra _everything_ , to tell her of her feelings and hope that maybe that would lift her spirits, if anything.

_Don’t think so little of yourself, Korra. I love you. It’s not much, but you’re beautiful and wonderful to me._

She didn’t say it. It wasn’t appropriate right now and when Korra finally looked away, Asami picked up the shampoo bottle and kept silent.

“I _need_ to take these bindings off.” Korra said as Asami moved behind her. Reaching down, Asami pushed Korra’s hair aside and looked down the expanse of her back. _Spirits_ , she was so magnificently built. Asami scolded herself for such thoughts. It wasn’t the time, maybe it never would be.

“Do you want my help?” She asked, taking a cup next to the tub and filling it with water. “I was gonna wet your hair but we can do the bindings first.”

After a few seconds, Korra shrugged. “Sure, you seeing my boobs isn’t going to be any more embarrassing than anything else tonight.”

“Don’t worry, Sunshine. I won’t look.” She reassured. Korra reached back a moment later, holding the end of the wrap in her hand where she’d tied it off days earlier.

They worked in rhythm. Asami would unravel around the back, then pass the end off to do the front. Eventually the wrap was a balled up on the opposite side of the tub and Korra let out a sigh of relief.

“I needed to do that.”

Asami smiled. “I don’t know how you wear those.”

Korra chuckled. “My boobs have _always_ been a problem for me. They came in so fast and I showed up to train one day and was just…all over the place. It hurt and they frustrated me so much that I started binding them down. Works well enough.”

“Well if anything, now you’ll get a little time to let them breathe.” Asami picked up her cup, still full of water and ran a hand through Korra’s hair. “I’m gonna wet your hair down now, okay. Hold your breath.”

“I am a waterbender you know?”

Asami didn’t retort, just poured the water down the back of Korra’s hair and stroked her fingers through it. She refilled the cup and repeated this process a few more times before grabbing the shampoo.

She pressed her fingers into Korra’s scalp, massaging her hair and trying to help her relax. It seemed to work well enough, Korra closed her eyes and let her arms float in the water.

“Asami,” Korra whispered softly, her voice shy.

“Hmm?”

Korra swallowed hard. “Thank you for…all of this tonight. I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

It would be easy to deny it. To tell Korra that everything would be okay. That it was all downhill from here, but Korra had lost control of a bodily function, she was still unable to feel her legs and it had only been a few nights.

To say the worst was over would be foolish.

Asami poured a cup of water over Korra’s hair, stroking her hand through it, her new favorite pastime. “We’ll get through it. Just keep fighting with me, okay?”

Korra nodded, her shoulders shaking a bit. “I—I will.”

Senna returned shortly after and helped Asami pull Korra out of the tub. As Asami carried Korra, soaking wet in her arms, Senna raced ahead to lay a towel on the bed. Asami only looked into Korra’s eyes, even though Korra had clearly stopped caring. Fatigue was settling into Korra’s body by the time Asami laid her back on the bed.

It was easier to let Senna dress Korra, so Asami stood back in the doorway and stared off into the hall. She fought not to cry, not to let the wall she’d built burst. It wasn’t right for her to cry, she wasn’t the one dealing with all of this. She had to stay strong for Korra. It wasn’t an obligation, it was a mission.

Asami was roused from her thought by a soft touch of her shoulder. It was Senna, smiling sweetly at her. As soon as Asami turned around, she was engulfed in a tight embrace.

“Oh,” Asami muttered, taken by surprise. She recovered a moment later and hugged Senna back.

“ _Thank you_ for taking care of her,” Senna whispered, Asami looked up to see that Korra was fast asleep under her blankets.

When the hug broke, Asami saw tears spilling from Senna’s eyes. She looked so much like Korra when she cried.

“Your daughter is the fiercest and strongest person I have ever met. I’ll do anything to help her get back what was taken.”

It wasn’t until Asami returned to her own room, that she allowed herself to cry.


	4. The Roles We Fill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami wants to build something to help Korra. Bolin just wants to help, and the rest of the world can't seem to help themselves.

"No, the seat needs to be softer." Asami whispered to herself, taking her pencil and scribbling out the word  _'wood'_  on her page.

If Korra was going to spend any time out of her bed, she was going to need a way to move around, even with help, throughout the temple and beyond that. She had seen wheelchair models before. Future Industries didn't make them, which was why the models were such poor quality.

If Korra was going to be spending extended time in something, Asami was going to make sure it was built properly.

The seat was her main sticking point. It needed to be made of something soft, softer than the wood most of them were made with. Who knew how often Korra would be in the chair, certainly a lot in the coming weeks.

"You alright, Asami?" The voice made her jump, she looked up to see Bolin smiling at her, a bag slung over his shoulder and the sun at his back. It was early, most of the island was still asleep, the disruption in her morning was unexpected.

"Bolin, did you take the first ferry of the day here?"

"Couldn't sleep without Opal. I miss her."

Asami sympathized. "She only left a few days ago and she'll be back soon though right? To continue her airbender training?"

"Yeah. She wanted to go and stay with her mom for a bit after everything—she'll be back in a couple of days. Longest days of my life though."

"Where's Mako? Asami asked, realizing how odd it was that only one brother showed up.

Bolin shrugged. "Mako didn't—he," he looked at her guiltily. "Mako wasn't feeling well, so I figured I'd come here and check up on everyone." He sat the bag down and reached inside, pulling out a pai sho board. "You up for a game?" He sees the sketchpad in her lap, the crumpled balls of paper surrounding here. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make something for Korra." The mention of her name made Bolin wince, which annoyed Asami more than she would ever admit. Korra wasn't some bad memory. She was literally two minutes away from where they were right now.

"How…how is she?"

Asami sighed, her frustration gone almost immediately. "Sleeping right now." She doesn't broach the subject anymore than that. The last few nights have been filled with Asami sitting up with Korra. No more accidents. They had a system for that. The nightmares were regular visitors though, Korra was being plagued by them. Asami felt like she hadn't slept in a week.

"Come on," Asami said, jarring Bolin from his thoughts. "Set up the board, we'll play a game."

His smile grew. "We should play fast though."

"Play fast if you want." Asami said, crossing her legs as she sat down. "You know how I play."

Bolin frowned, unfolding the board. "I'm used to a  _fast_  game. It puts me at a disadvantage when you take ten centuries between moves!"

Asami chuckled. "You could always, I don't know,  _slow down_  and pay attention to what I do. Play strategically and not reactively."

"Asami," he started, handing her her pieces. "A Fire Ferret cannot change it's stripes. Isn't that right, Pabu?" At the sound of it's name, the small fire ferret popped up out of the bag next to him and made a small chirp.

"Hey Pabu." Asami smiled as Pabu leapt out of the bag and crawled up her leg and into her lap. "Aww, I think he missed me."

Bolin grinned. "He's a distraction tactic to help me beat you. "

"Hmm," Asami tickled under Pabu's chin. "You're gonna need more than that I think."

As Bolin huffed, Asami set up her pieces and continued to pet Pabu.

Once the game started, Asami fell into her usual, deliberate pace. Bolin tried to match her, but with each move he made quicker decisions. Those quick decisions were clumsier and clumsier. Eventually, he stumbled right into her play and she took the first game.

"How do you do that?" He cried, gesturing wildly with his arms. "Pabu was practically licking your face when you made the final move!"

Asami chuckled. "The final move was made a long time ago, Bo. I was just waiting for you to set it up." He pouted. "What? I told you I played this game a lot."  _With my father_. Asami bit back those words. The thought of him felt extremely out of place. She had been so focused on Korra and their mission with the Red Lotus that she hadn't thought about her father in months.

She was certain a stack of new letters were waiting at her home.

"Reset," Bolin said, taking his and her pieces and putting them back on the board. "Pabu," Bolin called, pointing to the bag. "Go back to sleep, buddy, you're no help." The fire ferret retreated to his bag.

"Bolin, can I ask you something?"

He looked at her cautiously. "Is…this a distraction tactic?"

Asami rolled her eyes. "No, just a question. I want to make a chair for Korra, but I don't know what kind of material to use for the seat."

"What like a rocking chair?" He moved a piece on the board. "I don't think Korra would be very interested in that."

"It's not a rocking chair. It's a wheelchair. I would buy her one but all the models I know of look really uncomfortable and Korra's gonna need something better."

"Oh," it bothered Asami when she saw his face fall at the mention of Korra and her current state. She couldn't imagine how that made Korra feel when she saw it from others. "Do you think she'll need one?" He glanced up at her as she studied the board.

He was playing the exact same game he had the previous round.  _Oh Bolin…_

"Of course she needs one. She can't stay in her bed all day." Asami moved her piece. To make it interesting she'd try and beat him differently than last time. "It'll be good for her to move around."

"I know but…I mean she'll be back on her feet soon, right? It's Korra. She'll get through this and be chasing Tenzin's kids around the island again in no time."

Asami took in his expression. He genuinely believed that. She wanted to agree with him. To believe as much as he did that Korra would wake up today with feeling in her legs and fire in her heart. Ready to fight the world again.

If that were true though, she wouldn't be paying such close attention to the time. Wouldn't be counting down the minutes she had to go wake Korra up and take her to the bathroom to keep their new schedule so she wouldn't wet the bed again. If that  _were_  true, she wouldn't have spent the last three hours watching the sunrise and designing a wheelchair.

"I—I don't think it's that simple, Bolin." She said softly, moving a piece on the board to counter his attack. "Korra's _really_ hurt."

Bolin tapped his fingers on the concrete below him. "Okay, but she's been hurt before. I mean…she's The Avatar. She has like…super bounce back ability! She's—"

"Bolin," Asami cut him off, raising her hand. "You need to listen to me, okay?" His eyes went wider, but he nodded all the same. "Korra can't _walk_." The words were harder say than she expected. "She can't feel her legs. She can't keep her grip long enough to brush her own teeth right now." With each sentence she spoke, his face went paler. It was painful to watch. Korra was Bolin's hero. The Avatar, the glowing eyes and unshakeable strength. For now though, he needed to see Korra, the person. He needed to know how much pain his  _friend_ was in. "Korra is improving, but it could be a while, you need to know that. Don't expect too much of her just yet."

He was quiet for a while after Asami finished. He stared at the board and Asami knew his mind was elsewhere. So she made a random, unimportant move to give him time.

"I didn't know it was that bad. I mean I knew it was  _bad_  but...It's Korra…you know?"

Asami smiled softly. "I know. She's going to need you too, okay? Make her laugh, talk to her about pro-bending. Be her friend."

"I will," he puffed his chest out. "I'll be the best friend she could ask for!" This made Asami smile. Bolin had a way of doing that and she was so grateful for it. "I feel better knowing that Zaheer is going to his prison today."

The mention of that name made Asami's blood burn.

"Where is it? Do you know?" Bolin looked at her curiously, thrown off by her terse tone. "His prison? Did you hear where they're taking him?"

He shrugged. "Not sure exactly. Some White Lotus prison in the mountains I think. That's what Opal heard from her mom. They're certain he won't ever get out though."

The thoughts returned to Asami again. The reminder of her money and her power. Wondering idly how many yuans it would take to ensure that Zaheer was  _never_  heard from again. She hated him. It reminded her of the childhood hate she carried for the faceless man who killed her mother. She had spent many nights lying awake, imagining what it would be like to see him again. What she would do in that situation. It was a thought that took Asami to some fairly dark places in her own mind. Asami never let hate control her, not like her father. Still, Zaheer would never pay enough for his crimes.

"You okay?" Bolin asked, drawing her out of her own thoughts. "I mean I know you take long between turns but you weren't even looking at the board."

She sighed, checking the watch in her pocket. "Sorry Bolin, I have to go help Korra."

"Help with what?" He stood up in a rush with her. "Can I help?"

Asami's smile returned. "Not this time," she patted his shoulder. "It's a bit too… _private_. Give us like a half hour though and you can come see her, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded but she could tell he was still unsure of what she meant.

The walk to Korra's room was becoming more and more familiar with each passing day. She didn't like that Korra was always at the end of this hallway. Korra needed to move around, be out of bed. It was too easy to become distant when she was trapped like this.

When she stepped into the room she saw Korra, fast asleep in the bed. She had asked to be laid on her side and Asami obliged. That was where she still was, hands tucked under her head, hair pooled on top of her pillow

If Asami had ever had doubts about her interest in girls, they were all gone now. Korra was beautiful and Asami was painfully aware of this.

She stared at Korra for a moment before Tonraq, who was sitting next to the bed, turned to her. "Asami, right on schedule." He grinned, standing up.

"I'm nothing without my schedules." She said, returning the smile. "No more nightmares?"

Tonraq sighed. "No, not since she went back to sleep this morning. Her back has been bothering her though. She keeps trying to roll over and it hurts her. Kya's been able to heal her cuts and bruises but we're not sure why her back continues to hurt so much."

"I'll be careful with her then." Was all Asami could say. She was no healer, she couldn't understand what was wrong Korra. If she could, she'd go back and study medicine instead of engineering, but she couldn't.

"You're a brave woman, Asami," Tonraq's eyes sparkled. "Waking up a girl like Korra. She's a monster in the morning, you know?"

Asami smiled. "I do, I know how to handle her though."

Tonraq's playfulness subsided a bit. He gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "You've been so wonderful with her. Our tribe prides itself on taking care of the sick and the injured. You don't abandon people, no matter the circumstance. What you've done for my daughter the last few days has earned you a lifetime of hospitality in the Southern Water Tribe."

It was easy to smile, bow a little and say thank you. Which she did, but to Asami it felt so unnecessary. Someone she cared about was hurt, had nearly died. If she had the same chance to take care of her mother years ago, she would have done the exact same thing.

As Tonraq left, Asami turned all her attention to Korra. They agreed on this. Every few hours Korra would go to the bathroom. Even if she didn't feel like she had to go, they would take her in there. Just in case. At night she would sleep until seven in the morning, then Asami would wake her. Today she'd given Korra a little more time, since the nightmares kept her up so late.

When Asami knelt down next to the bed, one of Korra's bright blue eyes opened up and stared at her. Asami smirked, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from Korra's face. The gesture was gentle and unexpected, it just felt so natural to reach out and touch her.

Korra didn't seem to mind. She let out a breath and opened her eyes completely.

"Morning," Asami said. Her hand now resting on Korra's temple.

"Hmm," Korra grunted, blinking slowly. She sniffed a bit, nestling deeper into her pillow. "Too early."

Asami smiled. "You know the drill, Princess." Gently, she helped Korra roll onto her back and watched as Korra's shirt rode up her stomach. Her cheeks flushed at the sight. Korra's toned stomach right there for her to see. Asami looked away far too quickly, her eyes settling on Korra who was staring back at her quizzically. "Do uh…do you feel like you need to go?"

Korra shook her head. "No, but I drank a lot of water last night. Probably a good idea to try."

"Okay," Asami nodded. She might not be able to confess her feelings or even deal with them right now, but this she could do. Her eyes locked onto Korra's, moving down to pull off the blanket. "Bolin's here," she said, it was better to keep up casual conversation while she did this. "Wants to get in a game of pai sho with you."

"Oh," Korra's eyes looked away from her. "I'm…not really up for it."

As she pulled Korra's pants down to her knees, Asami watched her shift uncomfortably. "Are you sure? He'd love to see you."

She shrugged but didn't say anything else. Just turned away and stared off out the window.

Asami was back at her side a moment later, hooking her arm under Korra's knees. She slid her hand under Korra's back and made her cry out.

"Korra? I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

Korra took a breath and nodded. "I'm okay, just…probably shouldn't sleep on my side anymore I guess."

"What?" Asami frowned. It was Asami who let Korra sleep on her side. Korra asked her to help roll over and of course Asami said yes. She didn't think anything of it. "Korra, I—do you want me to get Kya?" Guilt washed over her like a tidal wave. She should have known better.

"No," she reached up to wrap and arm around Asami's neck. "No I'm okay, let's just do this."

The next time Asami slid her hand under Korra's back, the Avatar didn't flinch a bit. She clearly forced herself not to, but Asami was able to lift her off the bed without complaint.

Korra always felt so delicate in her arms. Asami knew that Korra was anything but delicate. Her body had been ravaged in the fight and she was still alive, that right there showed how strong Korra's body was.

Still, when Korra was cradled in her arms, it was like carrying a priceless object across a wet floor. Asami was extremely protective of her.

She sat her down on the toilet and placed her hands on Korra's shoulders. "You steady?" Korra nodded, leaning back against the seat. Asami looked away but stayed close just in case. Reaching over, she turned on the faucet to help drown out the noise. Korra asked her the first time they did this. It helped, Asami understood.

A few moments later, Korra reached out and touched Asami's arm. She turned around, shut off the faucet. Asami flushed the toilet before scooping Korra up into her arms again. It was a routine now, even though it had only been a few days. Asami hoped that Korra was comfortable.

Her imagination would always run crazy when she held Korra. It was most likely the way she cradled her but Korra would always curl into Asami's body, like maybe, she needed to feel protected as much as Asami needed to protect.

Korra was strong, she would be strong again, but right now she was more vulnerable than she'd been in her entire life. It made sense to Asami that she would need to feel safe.

She sat Korra on the bed and went to pull her pants up. The problem was, she was trying so hard not to look down that she drove her shin into the side of the bed.

" _Spirits!_ " She cured, bending over and putting her hand on the bed to stay balanced.

"Asami!" Korra cried, Asami could feel her shifting, trying to sit up.

"No, it's okay," she soothed. "Just kicked the bed. Metal frame beats bone again." She joked, or tried to, but when she rose up and looked at Korra, there was genuine concern in her eyes.

"Are you sure? I don't—I—" Korra stammered, clearly battling thoughts in her head. "You don't have to—"

"I do," Asami cut in, staring into Korra's eyes as she pulled her pants up. "It's your body, Korra. You decide who sees it and who doesn't. My leg will be okay."

More tears started spilling from Korra's eyes, but she nodded with grateful appreciation in her eyes and brushed them away.

Once Korra was dressed, Asami moved up to her. "You want to sit up?" She asked, as if she'd been casually asking Korra that question the entire time they'd known each other.

"Yeah," Korra nodded, sniffling a bit as Asami started stacking her pillows against the wall. Once they were ready, she scooped up Korra again, just a bit, and slid her back against the wall.

Korra rested against the pillows, her legs laying motionless in front of her. She stared at them for a moment, nibbling on her bottom lip.

"Cold?" Asami asked. Korra shook her head. "You want me to pull the blanket up?" This time she nodded and Asami obliged. She touched Korra's legs once the blanket was up. Korra might not be able to feel her legs but that didn't mean they weren't there, weren't still a part of her.

She waited for Korra to look at her, eventually she did and Asami used her best smile. "Okay, I have to go to work for a little while this morning. Special project I need to get started on." Asami waited for a response, all Korra gave her was a slight nod. "Then, when I come back we'll get you cleaned up and maybe do something fun this afternoon."

"Fun?" Korra looked at her, no anger or sadness in her eyes. Just a question, disbelief perhaps. "Look at this room, even the paintings on the walls are bored."

Asami laughed, perhaps too much, but hearing Korra make a joke was comforting. "We can have fun in here."

"Maybe  _you_ can. You can have fun anywhere with a sketchbook and a pencil."

"True," Asami nodded. "Kya's going to help you out with the bathroom stuff if I'm not back in time. Call for help if you need it, okay? Don't be stubborn."

Korra frowned a little. "I know." She sighed. "What am I gonna do until then?"

"That's my cue!" A boisterous voice called from the doorway and both girls turned to see Bolin standing there. He seemed hesitant, his words were confident as ever but he lingered shyly in the doorway, clutching his pai sho board. "If you're up for some company?" He smiled hopefully at Korra and Asami really hoped Korra would say yes, because it would be devastating to see him be turned away.

Flicking her gaze to Korra, Asami saw her features soften and her lips curve up a bit. "Sure. You have to sit on the bed though. We can put the board on my legs, they're about as useless as a table now anyways."

It was another joke, but this one didn't make Asami feel good. When she looked at Bolin he was forcing a very awkward smile as he came into the room. Asami wondered if she should have prepared him more for this. For Korra as she was right now, struggling, in so many ways.

As Bolin carefully climbed onto the bed, Asami ran her hand up and down Korra's arm. "I'll be back." She gave her bicep a soft squeeze. "Go easy on Bolin. I already kicked his butt a couple times this morning."

Korra barely nodded as Asami left. She needed to do something, to get Korra out of this room. The lack of sleep and all the pain was starting to take a toll. Korra's blue eyes were losing their color, her skin was paler and Asami knew she wasn't eating well.

A wheelchair would fix it though. It would help, if anything else. She could take Korra out of the room and push her around her around the island. She could eat with the family and sit outside.

It was an idea, it was something she could do, something she could build to help Korra.

Asami moved toward the kitchen, hoping to grab something to eat on her way out. As she did, she could hear heated arguing.

"You can't be serious?" It was Lin, her voice sharp and biting.

Tenzin sighed. "I'm not saying I agree with what they're saying, Lin. Of course I don't. I'm just saying that people have a right to ask questions."

"They really don't."

"Proper balance in the world is important. It is the Avatar's duty to maintain—" That was all Asami needed to hear.

"What's going on?" She asked, stepping into the kitchen.

Tenzin and Lin were standing at either sides of the table, both of their faces contorted with frustration. When Lin noticed Asami, she moved towards her.

"You, you'll love this." She said, holding out a newspaper towards Asami.

"Lin," Tenzin warned. "I don't think that's a very good—"

"From what Kya's told me, if anyone deserves to read this, it's Sato." Lin handed over the paper to Asami. "Third page, opinion piece."

Asami flipped to the third page and found large, bolded letters staring back at her.

**_The Avatar's Duty_ **

_by, anonymous_

She skimmed through the first few parts, talking about past Avatars and the things they had done for the world. It read like a cheap history lesson. Asami's photographic memory placed a few of the lines straight from textbooks sitting in her own library.

_Someone has to ask the tough questions, that's what I'm here to do. With rumors spreading of the Avatar's current state and the growing unrest throughout the Earth Kingdom, the question is simple; should Avatar Korra do her duty?_

Asami frowned, she couldn't do her duty right now. She was healing.

_The world needs an Avatar. If the one we have now is no longer fit to protect this world, then it is the duty of the Avatar to allow the cycle to continue. Throughout history…_

Asami stopped reading. Her fists were crumpling the paper in her hands. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. When she finally opened her eyes again, Lin and Tenzin were staring at her.

Stepping back, Asami folded the paper up and tucked it under her arm. "I'm going to Future Industries to start working on a wheelchair for Korra." Her voice was calm, screaming in rage right now would accomplish nothing. "Tenzin, if you could have Kya check on Korra in a few hours? Make sure she doesn't have to use the restroom and try and get her to eat, please?"

"Of course," Tenzin nodded, still obviously waiting for her reaction.

"Thank you, I'll be back this evening." Asami started out the door, but stopped just before leaving. She looked back, they were both still watching her. "If anyone ever shows this article to Korra, they'll answer to me."

As she left, Asami swore she could see Lin smirking.


	5. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra isn't the only one with nightmares and Asami isn't the only one with needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response has been seriously overwhelming. Thank you.

_Asami couldn't suppress a giggle as Korra hooked her strong hands under Asami's thighs and lifted her up. She curled her legs around Korra on instinct, drawing their bodies flush as she kissed her. Korra smiled into the kiss, turning them around to press Asami into the wall behind her._

_She explored Asami's neck with her lips, trailing them down her pulse point and across the juncture of her shoulder. Asami gasped as Korra drew a hand up to tug down the cover of Asami's jacket._

_"You wear too many clothes," Korra said, moving to her mouth and dragging her tongue across Asami's upper lip. She pulled away, allowing Asami's feet to touch the ground. She stepped back from Korra and shed her jacket, dropping it into a pool onto the floor._

_Korra untucked her vest from her pants and undid the brown fur from around her waist. It fell to the floor as helplessly as Asami's coat. Reaching up, Korra pulled out her wolf tail in the back and let her hair cascade down her back._

_The look in her eyes, the framing of her hair, stirred something deep in Asami. It was a want, a feeling she'd never felt before. Korra was it, the only person she ever wanted to do this with._

_Asami stepped into her, kissing her as hard as she could. Korra moaned into her mouth, pressing her hands into Asami's back._

_One of Korra's hands on Asami's back pulled away sharply, she didn't think much of it, just continued caressing her lips against Korra's._

_A moment later, the other hand was pulled away, almost violently. Asami drew back, staring into Korra's eyes._

_They were flickering back and forth, glowing once and then a second later they were blue again. The only consistency in the change was fear. Korra was terrified._

_Asami took a step back and Korra's arms were being pulled at her side, chains tied around her wrists. She took a step forward to help Korra, but there was a barrier between them. She reached out, her hand stopping forcefully, just inches from Korra's face._

_"Korra!" She screamed, or tried to, but no sound escaped. The chains on Korra's arms started to melt, like liquid metal pouring down onto Korra's skin. It looked familiar, the poison that Su drew from Korra after the fight, Asami remembered it clearly._

_A scream escaped Korra, her body thrashing as the poison rolled slowly down her arms. She jostled back and forth, tugging on her chains. An overwhelming fear in her expression._

_"Help! Asami, please help me! I don't want to die! Asami! PLEASE!"_

_Korra's head jerked forward, the poison seeping into her skin. Tears spilled down her cheeks, dripping into the void that was suddenly below her. Asami's fist slammed on the barrier between them. She desperately shouted for help. For anyone to come and save them. Her voice wouldn't carry, she was helpless._

_Suddenly, Korra's eyes were glowing white, tears still falling, but she no longer looked scared. Just stared at Asami. That was when the air started to flow around Korra, Asami watched it encircle her head in a ball, drawing the breath from her lungs. Korra's mouth hung open, her muscles convulsing against the restraints._

_"Korra!" Asami screamed, again with no sound. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, her throat tightened. She was suffocating with fear. "Korra!" Nothing._

"Korra!" Asami cried, her voice echoing off the walls around her. She sat up, taking in the surroundings. There was a soft light coming from her right. Looking towards it, she saw the glow of the small lamp hanging over her drafting board at her office. The window behind that showed the night sky of Republic City.

She'd fallen asleep on the couch in her office.

She was sweating, her body trembling. It was a dream. It wasn't real, not this time. Korra was okay, Korra wasn't suffocated, she wasn't killed. She was alive.

The stories she'd heard of Korra in that cave were painful. Asami didn't have a clear picture of that, she knew about the poison and had seen Korra being suffocated by Zaheer. It was an image that would stay with her for as long as she lived. Occasionally seeping into her mind and the worst times to haunt her.

Asami stood up, her legs a bit shaky. She saw the wheelchair sitting a few feet away. It had been a couple days since she started. She'd come here, twice a day for a few hours and worked on it. Then spend the rest of her time at the island.

Making it was fairly easy, the materials weren't hard to come by at Future Industries. It was nearly finished, one more day.

The only real problem was her board of directors breathing down her neck about returning to work. She knew she couldn't ignore this place forever. She'd just traveled across the entire Earth Kingdom with Korra before all of this. She'd sacrificed her job for too long, but Korra needed her.

Or perhaps she just needed Korra.

Suddenly the other images of her dream came back to her.  _Needing_  Korra. Wanting to touch Korra, to kiss her and feel their bodies together.

Asami took a deep breath. She had to see Korra. She shouldn't have fallen asleep. What if something happened? What if Korra was waiting for her?

She quickly made her way to her car to drive to the docks. There were no ferries left to take to the island. She figured as much and grabbed the keys to her personal boat as well.

The boat ride over was peaceful enough. Even behind this wheel Asami felt at home. The darkness around her was welcoming, like the world could slip away and she could just relax for a second.

It felt selfish, but she allowed herself to think about how hard this really was. Taking care of Korra was all consuming. She needed help with the bathroom, she needed help changing her clothes, brushing her teeth, and getting comfortable in her bed. The day to day was constant.

Asami didn't feel any regret though, it would be harder to be away. Like Mako, who had yet to visit Korra since they returned. He cared about Korra, she knew that, Korra knew that. Still, he was either scared or naive enough to think that if he just waited, Korra would heal and he could see her again and avoid all this.

It was upsetting regardless, but Mako was never great with his feelings. Maybe he thought this was easier. Perhaps it was, Korra didn't need any added pressure and trying to sort through Mako's feelings would be too much.

The boat reached Air Temple Island and Asami killed the engine next to the dock. It was well past midnight, she only hoped she hadn't woken anyone up. She was exhausted as she walked towards the temple. If the nightmare hadn't happened she probably would have slept through the night.

The temple was peacefully quiet when Asami finally reached Korra's room. She hoped that Korra would be asleep, she needed it just as much as Asami did. However when she looked inside, Korra's head immediately turned to her.

"Hey," Asami said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. "You should be sleeping."

Korra looked awful as Asami turned a dim light on in the corner. Her eyes were red, her skin was ashen and she looked like she'd been crying.

"You were gone for a long time." Korra whispered, wincing a bit as she moved. When she tried to shift her upper body even more, she cried out in pain.

Asami moved to the bed and knelt down beside her. Kya told them chronic pain was expected, Korra's body was trying to heal. The injury to her spine was severe. The kind of severe that caused everyone to look grimly at one another every time it was brought up. They were all still waiting to see if Korra bounced back. Everyone seemed to expect her to, or at least they spoke as if she would. Like it was some kind of Avatar inevitability that she would magically heal.

That's why Asami allowed herself to think of the alternative. Of Korra not healing completely and of this becoming Korra's day to day. Which was why she built a wheelchair for her. Why the idea of a satomobile with a built in ramp was already started in her sketchbook. If Korra  _didn't_ recover, then they needed to make sure that she was still allowed to have a life beyond this bedroom.

"Do you want anything? Water? I can get Kya to help you sleep?"

Korra shook her head. "No, she did some stuff before she went to sleep but I think I just…have to wait for this to pass. My back feels like it's on fire." Then Korra looked at her, a plea in her eyes before she even asked. "This is so stupid but…will you hold me? Please. I don't want to be alone."

With a smile, Asami stood up and unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the chair before sitting on it to remove her boots. Reaching over, she turned the light off, allowing the moonlight to spill in through the window.

In the darkness like this, the way Korra pleaded for her, it felt like anything that happened tonight was just for them.

Asami stood up again, taking off her red vest and leaving her in only a white, sleeveless t-shirt and her pants. She walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled back the blankets.

As soon as she laid down, Korra was looking at her, a grateful smile dancing across her lips. Asami buried her feelings, buried past ideas of sharing a bed with Korra like this. It was irrelevant tonight. All she wanted to do was take away Korra's pain.

Carefully as she could, Asami rolled over and slid an arm under Korra's back and pulled her over. Korra let her body lull into the embrace, her head resting on Asami's chest.

Korra cried, Asami wasn't sure how long but she cried and held onto Asami for dear life. It was painful, but Asami was thankful to be here, to be the one that was able to hold Korra through the long nights.

After a while, Korra settled down, still in Asami's arms as she traced soft circles across Korra's back.

"I'm really scared, Asami." Korra's voice unexpected, but welcome nonetheless.

"I know. I'm scared too."

Korra let out a slow, shuddering breath. "I think about it sometimes, about…if I'll always be like this. I—I can't… _be_  The Avatar if I can't walk. What am I gonna do if I can't?"

 _You'll get through this._  Asami almost said that aloud, but she didn't. It was hollow. Meant for people who didn't see the moments like this. Who didn't understand how hard it was and how scared Korra was. She deserved more than that.

"If you can't…then we'll figure it out."

There was no response for a while, just Korra breathing against her. Asami worried for a split-second if maybe she should have given the easier response.

"Can I ask you a question?" Korra's shaky voice barely carried enough for Asami to hear.

"Of course."

Korra let out another long breath, the emotions in the room were thick, like a fog looming in the air. It would be easy to lose themselves in it.

"Why are you doing all this?"

Asami frowned, not expecting that. "What?"

"I just—" Korra shifted, squeezing Asami's arm a little as she did. "I know we're friends and we've…fought to protect the world together but this," Korra swallowed sharply, her grip loosening. "You didn't sign up for this. I have my mom and dad, Tenzin. I wouldn't hate you if you wanted out. I don't…" Korra stumbled on the end of the sentence, Asami should have cut in, but she let Korra finish. "I don't want you to feel trapped."

Now Asami was appreciative of the darkness because Korra couldn't see her smiling. Beautiful, selfless Korra who Asami now knew she was completely in love with.

"Korra, you don't get it." Asami reached up and stroked her fingers through Korra's hair. A gesture that was fast becoming her favorite thing. It felt very intimate, she didn't want this to be about her feelings, but she was in too deep. "I'm not here because you need me. I'm here because I need  _you_." Asami let out a soft laugh, certainly confusing Korra. "What do I have without you? An empty house? I barely remember what my my mom's voice sounds like. My dad is—he's not a part of my life anymore. I love my work but even that is just work. You're all I've got, Korra." Asami knew, in a way, that wasn't true. She had Tenzin's family, she had Mako and Bolin. So many people in her life now, but she was only around them because of Korra. Because being with Korra was the only place she wanted to be.

"I need you too," Korra said after a while. Perhaps it was the darkness of the room allowing Korra's vulnerability to win out. That was all she said, but it was more than enough as they nestled into each other a little more.

Another silence fell over them, but it was comfortable. Korra's hand was splayed across Asami's abdomen. It wasn't long after that Asami realized that Korra had fallen asleep. Following her there proved to be easy

—

By mid afternoon the next day, Asami had finished Korra's chair. It was one of her greater accomplishments just because of what it meant. It would give Korra a way out. She needed to see the world, her world, again.

She pushed easily as she strode down the dock towards the island. She was getting good use out of her personal boat these days.

The first person she came across was Jinora who's eyes lit up when she saw the chair. "You made that?" She asked, jogging towards Asami.

"I did, think she'll like the blue seat?" Asami asked, staring down at her work.

"Oh of course," Jinora responded sweetly. "I think she'll really love it. She needs it."

Asami noticed the understanding in Jinora's eyes, the girl really was wise far beyond her years. "She does. Once I show it too her I think I'll bring her out here to see you and your brother and sister."

"That would be great! I feel bad because I've been so busy, I haven't been able to see her." She frowned. "I think Dad's been keeping Ikki and Meelo away from her a little too. Ikki would just ask questions and Meelo might try and jump on her or something." She played it off as protecting Korra from nagging children, yet Asami knew it was more likely to keep the kids from seeing Korra as she was. "We'll be out here! Go give it to her!" Jinora said cheerfully and Asami chuckled before continuing inside.

As she moved through the hallway, Asami slowed by the kitchen when she saw a large figure sitting alone at the table.

Asami still felt a bit nervous every time she was around Tonraq. Not because of anything he did, he was just such a looming presence. So proud and strong. She could count on one hand the number of people who truly intimidated her at one point or another. Korra's father was on that list. It wasn't from fear though, just respect. That and maybe because she wanted to make out with his daughter.

Still, he was sitting alone, head hung down and idly making a cup of water dance with his fingers. Something she had seen Korra do a number of times, a family nervous tick.

"Tonraq?" She called, drawing his attention. He looked over his shoulder at her, a smile on his face that relaxed her. "Everything okay?"

He chuckled. "Oh I'm fine. A little lost in thought is all. Waiting for Senna to wake up from her afternoon nap before I make us something to eat. Tenzin was nice enough to send someone shopping so we could have a proper Water Tribe meal for Korra this evening."

"Maybe that'll get her to eat better." Asami had many worries when it came to Korra, her lack of appetite was near the top though. She hadn't had a good meal in days.

"I believe that's why Tenzin agreed to let us bring some of our food here."

Asami nodded. "Oh, I wanted to show you." Asami rolled the chair in through the door proudly. "I'm about to go surprise her with it."

He stood up from his spot, tall and broad as ever, glancing down at the chair Asami stood behind. His gaze shifted from the chair, up to Asami and he shook his head in disbelief. "You built this?"

"Y—yeah," Asami shrugged, it really wasn't a big deal. "That's where I've been going the last few days. I built it in my workshop at my office."

Tonraq leveled a stare at her, she couldn't really read his expression, but his eyes were warm. "You—my daughter is lucky to know someone like you, Miss Sato." He extended his hand and Asami shook it. "You are more than a friend. Thank you."

"I care deeply for your daughter. I would do anything for her." Asami hoped he wouldn't see this as a confession of love. Then again, maybe she did. Her feelings for Korra weren't something she wanted to hide. They were something she  _needed_  to hide, for now at least.

If Asami had it her way, she'd scream her love for Korra off every rooftop in Republic City.

He smiled down at her. "I do not doubt it. Go, show her the chair. With that and her mother's cooking, today should be a good day."

"She deserves a few of those."

Tonraq nodded. "She certainly does."

Asami made her way back into the hall, stopping just outside Korra's room, she parked the chair and moved into the doorway without it. Korra was sitting on her bed, talking with Tenzin or better yet, being talked  _at_  by Tenzin. She looked bored, not even looking at him. He was telling her about herbs he'd heard about in the mountains outside of the Fire Nation that might help sooth her pain.

Asami knocked on the wall. "Sorry to interrupt." She watched Korra turn to her, her eyes brightening. "I have a present for you." She smiled, stepping out to the hall and rolling the chair in a moment later.

Korra stared at it with a rather empty expression at first. Her insides began to knot with worry. Her intent from the beginning was to make this for Korra so she could have more freedom. It was meant as a beacon, something to help carry her forward.

Then Korra pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and twisted up a smile. She looked up to Asami with tears in her eyes. Asami knew Korra was tired of crying, but this felt different.

"You made that for me?"

Asami nodded. "Yep, I  _needed_  to." The words passed between them like still frames of their previous night. Asami woke up before anyone else and they were untucked without anyone knowing. It wasn't anything to hide, not really. Still, it was only meant for them, so words like ' _need'_  could matter a little more. "If you're up for it, I think the kids would love to see you."

"Let's do it."


	6. Together We Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami has lunch with Mako and Korra begins to show signs of mental and emotional damage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thank you to Jennawynn for her wonderful art she made from the scene in chapter 2. You can see it by going here ;)
> 
> http://thejennawynn.tumblr.com/post/118842027164/from-simplykorras-recovery-chapter-2-read-this

Today was a bad day.

For the last week, everything seemed as if it were on the upswing. Korra was sleeping better, the infusion of her mom's cooking had built up her appetite. She would let Asami and Bolin or her parents push her around Air Temple Island to watch the airbenders or the kids.

The nights had improved, if only a little, she had a few nightmares but Asami figured out that Korra slept better when she wasn't alone. So she would stay with her. No night had been like the one before, falling asleep curled up in one another. Still, Asami being nearby seemed to reassure Korra enough to make it through until morning.

Asami almost let herself believe they were through the worst of it.

Until she woke up this morning.

Korra was eerily quiet when Asami went into her room. She had to call her name three times before Korra even acknowledged Asami being there. Korra barely spoke, only offering a "no thank you" when Asami offered her water and a quiet "okay" when she was finished in the bathroom.

Korra wouldn't look at her when lifted her into her chair, she wouldn't look at her when Asami brushed her teeth. Nothing. Just silence and distance. It really felt like Korra was absent from her own body.

They sat outside, observing an airbending training session. Asami sat next to Korra, doodling in her sketchpad as Korra just sat in her chair, her eyes unfocused.

The design Asami wanted to work on wasn't coming together. Not a damn thing she could think of was coming together because she couldn't stop worrying about Korra.

It felt wrong to push, but in a way she struggled not to. It was such a shift compared to the days before. Tenzin had even commented that it seemed like Korra was taking a turn, emotionally, for the better. Now she was almost right back where she started, worse even.

Frustrated, Asami sat her sketchbook down and stood up. "I'm going to get a glass of lychee juice. Do you want anything?"

Korra shook her head slowly and looked away.

Asami took three steps away from her, mentally screaming at herself to keep walking. She couldn't though. She stopped, turned back and knelt down in front of Korra.

"Are you okay?"

Korra turned her gaze up to Asami and nodded. "I'm fine."

Asami frowned. That was not the answer she wanted. It hurt to hear because they'd grown so close lately. Asami hoped she was the one person who wouldn't get  _that_  answer.

Reaching out, she took Korra's hand. "You know you can talk to me, right? About anything? Are you…"  _don't say okay_. "In pain? Did something happen last night?"

Korra looked away, her eyes empty, and shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

Defeated, Asami stood up and dropped a kiss atop Korra's head for her own comfort before retreating into the kitchen.

She dug through the cupboards for a glass, her mind in a thousand different places. Something was wrong, but Korra wouldn't talk to her about it. Korra was dealing with a  _lot_  and Asami understood that, but she sort of felt like she had become the exception. That if things were hard, Korra would still open up to  _her_.

After retrieving a cup, Asami poured herself a glass of juice and stood frozen in her spot. She sat her drink down and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes to try and keep her emotions in check.

Korra was dealing with a lot, she reminded herself again, it wasn't fair to expect her to be okay every day.

"Everything alright in here?" A voice carried to Asami, she turned around to see Kya leaning against the door frame. "That lychee juice upset you?"

Asami laughed despite herself and shook her head. "No, just…" she shrugged and picked up her cup, struggling to find the words. "Korra's not having a very good day and I'm not sure what to do for her."

"Really?" Kya moved into the room and sat down at the table. "She seemed to be doing really good this week."

"She was," Asami sighed, sitting across from her. "Things had been really good. She was smiling more and eating better. Then today she just…wasn't there. It's kinda scary. I can't seem to get through to her."

Kya nodded, taking in everything Asami said. She looked tired, they were all tired. The island was fairly heavy with emotion. It felt wrong to use the word blame but Korra's presence was certainly the cause of it. It wasn't that people were upset, they were just scared. Scared for Korra, scared for the future. Everyone had their own reasons, but they all loved Korra and wanted her back.

Asami understood now how much life Korra breathed into the world of everyone she knew. With her injured, in so many ways, everything else was collapsing.

"I worried about this," Kya said, looking into Asami's eyes, letting her know she needed to listen.

"You were?"

Another nod. "Asami, Korra's physical injuries are bad but…we can't forget her mental state."

Asami narrowed her eyes as the words processed. She'd considered Korra's mental state, she was trying to deal with her legs not functioning the way they had. Needing help to do so many things. Asami had tried every day to make it easier and more comfortable for her.

"I don't—"

Kya waved her off. "It's okay, you're doing everything you can for her. Don't doubt that. We all see it and we all appreciate it so much. Korra does too, I know she does because I see the way she looks at you when you come into her room." Kya's smiled as she spoke, but it faded when she suddenly went thoughtful again. "It's not all physical though. Korra was  _tortured_ , Asami. We can't forget that." The word strikes Asami like a bolt of lightning. It wasn't that she didn't  _know_  Korra had been through trauma, she just didn't want to think about it too much. She assumed Korra wouldn't either. "Her body may not be the only thing that's broken right now." Kya tapped her head with a finger.

The mountain they were climbing felt as if it grew three times higher. So steep that Asami worried she was falling right off of it.

After a few moments, she let out a long, tired breath. "I don't know how to fix that."

"I'm not sure you're the one who can fix it." Kya shrugged, sympathy in her eyes. "I know Tenzin wants to try, he's been as worried about this as anyone. The not sleeping and not eating, the signs were there." Suddenly everything Asami did felt useless. What had she really fixed? Nothing. Korra seemed worse today then she had since the first night. She closed her eyes, not wanting to cry right now. "Hey," Kya called to her, reaching across the table to take Asami's hand. "Listen to me, you are doing  _so_ much. The fact that you made her smile for a whole week through all of this says more than you could imagine. I meant it when I said it the first time. You  _are_  good for her." Asami lost her fight, she was crying. "I know it's hard. I know you love her." She laughed mirthlessly, brushing at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Give her time, give her space if she needs it. Just…please don't give up on her."

"No," Asami shook her head quickly, hair bouncing from side to side. "I would never."

Kya stood up from the table and moved around. Asami was unsure of what to do at first but she was suddenly being pulled into a very warm hug.

Tension slipped from her body as she laid her head down on Kya's shoulder. It was strange, sharing so many heartfelt moments with people she hadn't known very long. Still, Kya's hug reminded her of something she couldn't quite place, something from her past.

"You're a good person, Asami." Kya pulled back, holding Asami's shoulders.

With a bashful smile, Asami wiped at her cheeks once again as Kya left her alone.

Drinking her juice, Asami stood up and put her cup in the sink. She took her time walking back outside, thoughts burning through her mind. It made sense, of course Korra would have scars beyond the physical. She was captured, chained up and monstrous people tried to murder her.

Who wouldn't be traumatized after that?

By the time she found her way back, Korra was still sitting exactly how Asami left her. The only difference was that Ikki had found her way into Korra's lap and was hugging her. Korra still seemed distant, but Asami watched her take a shuddering breath before closing her eyes and putting a hand on Ikki's back.

With a smile, Asami retreated back into the house. Appreciating the gentle reminder that she wasn't the only one who could comfort Korra.

—

Asami checked her pocket watch again. It was already half past noon. She was only going to give him five more minutes.

After Asami decided to spend the day away from the island and let Korra work through whatever it was she was working through, Bolin had told her that Mako had been wanting to have lunch with her. He called his brother at work from the island and set everything up.

Which led her here, sitting at Narooks, waiting.

If she were being honest, she wasn't sure she really  _wanted_  to see Mako. Asami knew he was busy, Bolin told her that he'd returned to work. Still, it didn't make up for the fact that they'd returned from the Earth Kingdom nearly three weeks ago and Mako had yet to show up and see Korra one time.

The same Mako who once claimed to love her couldn't find the time to see her when she needed him the most. It infuriated her. She was here though, waiting for him, willing to give him a chance to explain why. Yet, the longer she waited, the angrier she became.

"Asami!" Finally he showed up, looking worn out and unkempt. His hair was flat atop his head, longer than she'd ever seen it. He has his uniform on, his eyes were red. "Sorry, we got busy just as I was about to leave."

Asami nodded. "It's fine," she hadn't even bothered to pick up the menu that had been given to her ten minutes earlier. "Bolin said you wanted to see me."

Mako smiled. "Yeah, feel like I've been in another Nation the last few weeks. Thought I should catch up."

"I'm not hard to find, Mako." Asami knew she was being short. This was the voice she used when cranky business men doubted her ability to think and function as a CEO. Right now she had about as much patience for Mako as she did for them.

He sighed, sensing the tone. "What have you been up to? How's work?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, sipping her water. "I haven't spent a full day at work since we left to find the other airbenders."

"Oh," his eyebrows went up. "Can…can you do that? I mean don't they need you?"

"Doesn't matter. I have other priorities right now." Mako frowned, staring at the glass of water in front of him.

"How—" he took a breath. "How's she doing?"

Asami stared at him, sitting across the table from her and not even having the courage to  _look_  at her when he asked about Korra. She pushed her chair back and stood up.

"I'm not doing this."

"What?" He stood up and cut her off from the exit. "Asami wait."

He put his hand on her shoulder and she shrugged it off. "No, Mako. What are you doing?" She was yelling, the entire restaurant was watching them now. She couldn't care less. "One of your best friends is just went through the worst experience of her life. She is a mess and you want me to give you a status report?"

Guilt washed over his face as he ducked his head down and turned away from her. He exited the restaurant and Asami found herself storming out after him.

"So that's it? You're gonna run away again?"

"No!" He turned back to her. Asami stepped right into his face. He backed up. "No, I—I keep meaning to see her." He shrugged meekly. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know what to say or how to act. I don't know how I'll react, you know? Seeing her like that."

Asami narrowed her eyes at him. "It's not about  _you_." He reacted as if her words physically slapped him, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open as inaudible sounds spilled out. "Do you know what I was doing this morning Mako?" He shook his head, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. "I was brushing Korra's teeth for her. I do it every morning."

"It's…it's that bad?"

" _Yes_ , Mako. It's that bad. Did you forget the whole fight. Watching her slam through rocks, have the air sucked from her lungs.  _You're_ the one who said she was in chains! They tortured her Mako! Poisoned her!" Asami stopped, forcing herself to calm down. She was actually shaking and beginning to wonder who she was actually yelling at.

"Asami," he whispered, stepping towards her. "I'm sorry."

"No," she stuck a hand in his chest. "No, don't apologize to me. Just do  _not_  come to me and expect updates about Korra. You want to know? You go see her. You have the  _privilege_ of being friends with the most amazing woman in the world. You can show up and see her whenever you want and you just…refuse?" He was looking at her again, something different in his eyes. He was almost studying her, as if he were trying to read her thoughts. "What?"

Her question drew him away. "Nothing, you just—I mean…I  _am_ sorry. I've been afraid."

"Doesn't matter," Asami said matter-of-factly. "I am  _terrified_ , every day. The island is so quiet now. Everything is different and nobody knows if it will ever be the way it was, but it doesn't matter. Because you know that if it were either of us,  _any_ of us, Korra would tear her own heart out of her chest if it fixed us."

It was the truth, and Mako knew it. She watched as the light clicked on in his head. That's what made this all so hard. The most equipped person any of them knew to deal with something like this was the one who'd been knocked down.

He nodded, his eyes watery. "I'll be there tomorrow. I'll take the day off and come with Bolin in the morning. I'll make it a habit to come by more. I want to see her."

Asami closed the distance between them and embraced him. He tentatively hugged her back.

"She'll be glad to see you." Asami whispered into his ear and felt him nod into her shoulder.

When they pulled apart, Asami checked her watch. "I should head back. Korra's on a schedule and I don't like to mess with it."

"Yeah, I don't have much of a lunch break these days."

She smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes." He confirmed and they turned away from one another.

—

When Asami returned to the island, Korra was already back in her room.

"How is she?" Asami asked a passing Tenzin who she met in the hallway.

He sighed and glanced back over his shoulder. "She's…better. Kya told me about her distance this morning and so I went to speak with her. I believe she had a bit of a mental and emotional setback this morning."

Asami furrowed her eyebrows. "Is she…okay now? What does that mean?"

"What do you know of dissociation?"

"Not a lot," she shrugged. "My therapist threw it around after my mom died, like something that might happen to me, but I never thought much of it. Is that what happened to Korra?"

Tenzin stroked his beard. "I believe so. Something must have occurred this morning that caused her to detach, which essentially means she shut herself down from the rest of the world. It is not uncommon for someone who has dealt with something as traumatic as Korra has. Though it can be…unsettling for those taking care of her."

"Unsettling?" Asami laughed humorlessly. "It's  _awful_. Korra's so…" Asami gestured with her hands, so many adjectives about Korra's energy wanting to escape. Tenzin merely smiled, understanding what she was trying to say. "You know?" He nodded. "To see her like that was heartbreaking."

Asami worried for a moment if that word carried too much weight. Her feelings weren't exactly buried under lock and key, though she kept them pretty close to herself. Still, she was spending every night at this island and holding off on the rest of her life for the girl. It wouldn't really take a genius to figure out that she cared about Korra more than anything else.

Tenzin however, didn't seem to pick up on anything. "She'll be glad to see you then. She seems to have centered herself."

"Thank you, Tenzin." Asami smiled before shuffling past him to Korra's room.

As she reached the doorway, Korra was sitting on her bed with a cup of water in her lap. One of her hands rested along the rim, her finger moving ever so slightly, tapping the edge. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, not like her wolf tails, just completely tied away behind her. It made her look younger, like the teenage girl they often forgot she was.

"Hey you." Asami called, stepping into the room with a soft smile.

Immediate relief came over her when Korra turned to look at her. It was more than she'd gotten this morning. "Hi," Korra tried to smile, but it never reached her eyes. She turned back to her cup of water. That was when Asami noticed what Korra was doing. With her one finger along the edge of the cup, she was swirling the water very slowly with her bending. "This is as much as I can do right now and it's making my arm burn like I'm lifting two ton rocks but…it's something."

It was something, it was a piece of her old life. Still, it was obvious that Korra wasn't all that impressed with swirling water in a cup.

Asami sat down on the bed next to Korra's feet. "I'm glad to talk to you tonight."

Korra looked up at her. "Tenzin tell you that big word? Dis—whatever."

"Yeah," Asami chuckled. "Yeah he did. Do you want to talk about it?" Korra shrugged, looking back to the cup. "You don't have to, Korra. I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm not though." Korra swallowed harshly, the water no longer moving to her commands. "I barely remember getting out of bed this morning. The whole day is kind of blurry." Asami didn't say anything, just watched and waited for Korra to find her strength. "I had a dream last night."

"A nightmare? Why didn't you wake me up?" Asami reached out to take her hand.

Korra shook her head quickly, pulling away from Asami's hand. The gesture felt like a knife in the chest. "No…it wasn't…it was a good dream." Her gaze flicked up to Asami for a moment, then away again. The way she spoke, the look in her eyes, Asami almost wondered—

No. There was no chance.

"Then why did you shut down?"

Something between a sob and a laugh escaped Korra as she wrapped her fingers around the cup in her lap. She lifted it up, her arms straining, her hand shaking, water sloshing out the sides at the pure effort it took.

"Because I realized I'm living  _in_ the nightmare." Just before the cup fell, Asami reached out and grabbed it with both hands. Her fingers wrapping around Korra's, helping her hold the water steady.

Carefully, Asami took the cup from Korra and stretched over her to place it on the table by the bed. As she was pulling back, Korra leaned into her and tentatively wrapped her arms around Asami's neck.

The position was awkward, Asami had to drop a foot to the floor to stay upright, but she wasn't about to move. With one hand on the bed holding her up, Asami used the other to embrace Korra as tightly as she could. She buried her face in Korra's shoulder, soaking up the feel of Korra's arms around her. A feeling she would never be used to.

"I'm really glad you're here," Korra whispered into her hair, making Asami grin.

"I'm really glad you're here too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure about using the term "dissociation" within the context of this world, but it felt right. It is a part of the PTSD she's dealing with, along with everything else. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading ;)


	7. What's Next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the ceremony for the new airbending master, Korra finds herself at a crossroads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold tight everyone, I'm driving this Satomobile off the canon path now.

It didn't take long for Asami to push Korra out of the room when she saw her crying. Though It really was a beautiful moment. Seeing Jinora's ceremony, seeing the airbenders standing proudly around her. Asami had read stories of the airbenders when she was younger. They were such a peaceful group. She admired that. Even more so when a firebender cut down her mother.

Peace, it was all she ever wanted in the world. Learning about the airbenders helped her cope with the way her mother was taken. To understand that not all benders sought power through their abilities. That some were just like her, just wanted everyone to be happy.

Same as Korra, who sat in her wheelchair and watched those she loved celebrate together because of the sacrifice she made for them. It overwhelmed Asami. To stand behind Korra, to be the one who saw Korra that morning and dressed her for this, to be recognized as the hero she was.

Still, it was too much, Korra was staring to cry and Asami caught Senna's gaze during the ceremony before taking Korra outside.

She parked Korra near the end of a bench and sat down beside her. The sounds of the after party starting up carried throughout the temple.

Asami chanced a look in Korra's direction. She was distant, not absent like before, just quiet and thoughtful. She reached over and took Korra's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"You okay?" It was a simple question with many meanings.

Korra shrugged slightly. "I'm not in any pain, physically. If that's what you mean."

"What about the other stuff?" She pressed carefully. Korra frowned and exhaled through her nose slowly.

"The Air Nation is so strong." Korra's voice carried weakly, meant only for them. "So  _beautiful_. I'm so glad for all of them."

"Hey," Asami squeezed her hand. "They have you to thank for that! You protected them, you—" Suddenly Asami was crying, it didn't feel the same as before. These were happy tears, proud of the girl she cared so much for. "They wouldn't be together right now if it weren't for you."

Korra nodded quickly, reaching up to wipe at her nose. Now they were both crying and Asami leaned over and rested her head on Korra's shoulder. It had been a full day of holding this in. From watching Senna help Korra pick out her dress, to seeing Tenzin personally thank her for allowing his daughter to have this day. Then she helped Korra with her hair and make up, trying to hide the darkness under her eyes as best she could. All the kids wanting to sit with Korra, Lin being extremely protective of Korra the entire day.

Everyone wanted to show Korra how much they cared about her. It was beautiful and wonderful. Now they were here, just the two of them, sitting in the quiet as the sun loomed in the horizon preparing to set. So much more was planned for tonight, but Asami knew they were most likely finished. Korra could only do so much and the prospect of spending the night in Korra's room was more than enough for Asami.

"I read the article." Korra said, her voice steadier than before. Asami froze, her body going rigid.

She pulled her head up and looked into Korra's eyes. "Who—where did you get it?"

"Bumi," Korra laughed softly. "He was keeping it for some kind of cooking recipe or something. I'm not sure. As if Pema would let him in her kitchen. It was left on the table and when you went back to your home to get your outfit I found it."

"Korra—"

"They're not entirely wrong." She didn't seem upset and this only made Asami more upset.

"Yes, they are. The world doesn't need a new avatar. It has one."

Korra gave her a derisive look, though her smile remained. "Asami…I can barely move. I'm not going to be the avatar again for a really long time. If ever."

"It's only been a few weeks!" Her voice was far more pleading than she intended, but she didn't want Korra thinking this way. Not at all, it made her physically sick.

"Hey," Korra patted her hand. "It's not like I'm telling you to push me down the stairs."

It was meant as a joke, Asami knew that. Though Korra's darker sense of humor on the subject shone through a few times, it never really made anyone laugh.. This one in particular struck a nerve and she jerked her hand from Korra's. "Don't  _ever_  say that to me again."

For a second, Asami thought about standing up and walking away. She wanted to because she was about to start crying or screaming, or both, but she would never leave Korra. Even when she was upset. That didn't stop her from giving the coldest of shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Korra tried, draping her hand onto Asami's back. "It was just a bad joke."

"It's not a joke at all, Korra." Asami shook her head, praying no one interrupted them right now. "Besides, you're thinking about it, which you shouldn't be. That stupid article. I'm gonna kick Bumi's ass."

This made Korra laugh behind her, the sound was like magic to Asami. For a second, it almost made her forget everything. Almost.

"I have to think about it, Asami. It's my duty."

Finally, she turned back to look at Korra. "Your duty to what? Give up?" Korra winced. "It would take them no less than sixteen years to train the next avatar. That's sixteen years that this Air Nation you put back together would be vulnerable to attack."

"They're vulnerable now!"

"You are still our Avatar, Korra."

"I can't go to the bathroom by myself,  _Asami_."

"It's only been a few weeks!"

Korra's glare deepened. "A few weeks and nothing has changed! I'm not improving at all!" When Asami didn't respond, Korra let out a breath and all her anger seemed to dissipate. "I'm not saying it's something I'm considering. It isn't. I'm just saying…I want to be a good Avatar. Good enough to know when I can't fulfill my duty anymore."

The response came to Asami almost as soon as Korra finished talking. They sat on her tongue for a few second, seconds where she considered leaving them inside because they would hurt Korra. She knew she couldn't hold back, she had to fight the voices in Korra's head. No matter how small they might be now.

"What about your duty as a daughter?"

Immediately Korra recoiled as if she'd been slapped. "Asami—" she warned.

"What about your duty as big sister to Tenzin's kids, who love you  _so_ much." Asami continued to stare into Korra's eyes. "What about your  _duty_  to your friends. Who need you in their life. Would you really do that to them?" Asami had one more card to play, it was terrifying to even say it. "Would you really do that to  _me_?"

Korra's entire demeanor changed. Her eyes softened, her expression withdrew and her mouth fell open a bit.

Asami really wanted to kiss her.

"I—I want to go lay down." Korra said, looking away.

Asami sighed. "I'll go find Lin to help us down the stairs." She was on her feet far too quickly in search of the police chief.

When she made her way back inside, the celebration was in full swing. People were chatting and music hung through the air as couples danced and laughed. It made Asami smile to see so many people she cared about happy, she just wished Korra was able to experience it with them.

"Asami!" Jinora's voice drew her attention as the girl raced over with a bright smile on her face. "I was looking for you and Korra!"

Asami grinned and embraced the new airbending master. "Jinora, you look so beautiful."

A blush crept on Jinora's cheeks as she ran a hand over her head. "Thanks. I was a little sad about losing my hair and a little scared about the tattoos but I think they came out really well." She smiled up at Asami. "To hear you call me beautiful means a lot, cause you're always beautiful."

"Not as much as you," Asami said. "Not today, your smile could light up the world."

This only made Jinora brighten. "It's all because of Korra. I was hoping to speak with her?"

"Oh," Asami glanced over her shoulder. "She was wanting to go to her room. All this kind of took it out of her. I was just looking for Lin to help us down the steps."

"Lin's over there trying not to strangle Bolin who keeps trying to make her join his dance train." Jinora giggled. "It's fun! You should join!"

Asami shrugged. "I need to get back to Korra."

"Actually, do you mind giving me a few minutes to talk to her first? I—I need to tell her something."

"Okay, I'll go get Lin and you come get me when you're finished."

"Great!" Jinora hugged her quickly once more before racing outside.

That left Asami standing by the door, staring out at the vast celebration that was going on. Everyone seemed so alive, laughing and partying, it was surprising that air nomads could be so fun.

She spotted Lin standing towards the back, of course, her hands crossed over her chest as she watched the chain of people moving together like a snake across the dance floor. Bolin was leading the group, constantly looking back to make sure everyone was having fun. Opal was right behind him, she was such a perfect match for Bolin. She effortlessly meshed with his personality, Asami rooted for them so much because Bolin deserved the world.

She started walking to Lin when she heard the clapping of footsteps racing towards her. Turning, she was suddenly grabbed by Bolin who held her in the air and spun.

"Asami! Join our dance train!"

She couldn't stop herself from giggling at his excitement. "I can't, Bo! I've gotta go get Lin!"

Bolin sat her down, took her hand and twirled her. "Come on! It's a party, you should be dancing!"

"Seriously, it's so much fun!" Opal chimed in, shaking her whole body as she stood behind Bolin and grabbed his hips.

Suddenly, someone grabbed Asami's other hand that Bolin wasn't holding. She looked down to see Meelo staring up at her. "Dance with me beautiful woman!" He bellowed, trying to pull her away when he was abruptly knocked away by his sister Ikki, who was now holding Asami's hand.

"I want to dance with Asami!" Ikki boasted, smiling up nervously at Asami. "I—if you want to dance with me of course? I know it might be weird cause we're both girls and none of the other girls are dancing with other girls here but I think it'd be cool to dance with you and maybe you could tell me how you make your hair do that 'woosh' thingy that it does cause your hair is really pretty and so are you and I just—"

"Ikki," Asami found herself chuckling, squeezing the girl's hand. "Relax, it's okay if you want to dance with other girls. I would love to, but I really should go find Lin."

This drew a frown from Ikki which made Asami feel terrible.

"I'll dance with you." Asami turned to see Opal stepping up next to her. "I may not have the hair Asami does but as an airbender I can promise I've got excellent dance moves."

"Really?" Ikki beamed, taking Opal's hand before the two of them glided away from Asami and started dancing crazily together.

It settled deep in Asami's chest to see them. To see everyone having so much fun together. She wanted to be here with Korra. She wanted to be able to ask Korra to dance and laugh with her, hold her.

She wanted that more than anything.

A hand laid on her shoulder. "You okay?" It was Bolin, wonderfully and randomly perceptive Bolin. "Is Korra okay?"

"She's okay, just tired. I wanted to get Lin to help her get down but I'm waiting for Jinora."

"Oh, well don't go bothering cranky Chief Beifong for that! I can help you get Korra down!"

Asami smiled. "Okay, great. Lin is looking a little edgy right now." She glanced over her shoulder to see that Lin was scowling at Kai as he stuffed his face with cookies.

"She is," Bolin drew her attention back. "She wouldn't even join my dance train!" He then took a step back and bowed in front of Asami. "Would you care to dance, m'lady?"

Asami put a hand on her hip, grinning at him. "I'm not really up for it."

"Come on! Everyone is dancing. Even Mako!"

"Ha!" Asami cried. "Now you're just delusional!"

"No, it's true." Another voice made her jump and Asami whirled around to see Mako standing behind her, flat footed, shaking his hands in front of himself like he was trying to firebend without any fire. He looked ridiculous in a wonderfully charming way.

Asami bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. "Now I'm glad you cancelled that one date we had planned to go dancing." She teased, making his eyes roll. "I really can't though, I should—"

"Look, we'll all dance together!" Bolin said and suddenly he was bouncing around next to her.

The music began to pick up, the energy of seeing everyone so alive and enjoying themselves was bubbling up inside of her. Asami threw her arms in the air and started dancing between Bolin and Mako.

It was silly, and the three of them were laughing the entire time, but it felt so good. She twirled in her spot, hair flying all over her face. At some point Opal came back and hopped on Bolin's back and he continued dancing with her clinging to him.

"Asami?" As she continued bouncing around, her body vibrating with with happiness, she saw Jinora smiling up at her. Her eyes were red and puffy. She'd been crying. "She's waiting for you."

That's when the feeling returned, how badly she wished Korra was with her right now enjoying this. It felt like a hammer being taken to her chest, she was almost fighting to breathe. She needed to be with Korra, she wanted to tell Korra everything so she could kiss her and hold her. Maybe if she told Korra it would lead them here. Being together with their friends and enjoying nights like this. She wanted Korra to be okay, whatever that meant.

"Okay, thank you Jinora." Asami turned to Bolin who was blushing like crazy after earning a kiss on the cheek from Opal. "Bo, she's ready to go."

"Oh, okay." He sat Opal down off his back. "I'm gonna go help with Korra, I'll be right back."

Opal kissed him again on the cheek and he turned an even darker shade of red before he followed Asami to the exit.

"You really like her don't you?"

Bolin nodded eagerly, racing up to stand by her side. "I do, she's so great! She's sweet and fun and she gets all of my jokes. Even the ones Mako doesn't get!" He sighed dreamily. "She's like my other half, you know?"

"I can see that."

That was when Bolin wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "So how are you doing?" His voice was softer now, his question carried weight.

Asami shrugged. "I'm hanging in there."

He frowned. "You looked like you were having fun."

"I was."

"That's okay, you know? You can have fun."

She smiled sadly. "I know," Asami patted his hand over her shoulder. "I just wish she was having fun with us."

"Me too! I really miss her." He paled when Asami looked at him. "I mean…you know what I mean. I miss her being like she was—no that's not right—I know she's the same I just wish she was—"

"Bolin," Asami stopped just before the exit. "It's okay. I know what you mean. She'll get there."

He sighed and dropped his arm from her shoulder. "How do you do it? I mean every day you're always there. It's really really cool."

Asami found herself smiling again. "It's pretty easy. I love her." It was a confession. It was words she wanted to say for so long. To hear them out loud was like a weight being lifted off of her. Yet she said it casually enough that Bolin only nodded, none the wiser.

"Me too!"

—

The vast difference between the liveliness of the party and the silence of Korra's room was astounding. Asami found herself moving about, cleaning up things that didn't need to be cleaned, just trying to keep herself busy as Korra sat on her bed staring out the window.

She'd been quiet the entire time. Asami wondered what she and Jinora talked about. It had left Jinora in tears but Korra seemed mostly empty. It scarily reminded Asami of that day she slipped away. Which was why she was doing work that didn't need to be done. Anything to ignore the elephant-rhino in the room.

Asami couldn't keep herself from thinking about what Korra said. Korra may not be thinking it, but the idea was swirling in there somewhere. This notion that she needed to end her own life so another Avatar could take her place. It broke her heart. Asami understood the role of the Avatar, how important that was. Still, that didn't undermine the importance of  _Korra_. She was so much to so many people. People who would stand by her if she couldn't bend a single element.

Korra had the biggest heart of anyone she'd ever known. An energy that was endless and could light up the world. It wasn't fair for her to be responsible for so much yet Asami knew Korra  _wanted_  that responsibility. She  _was_  the Avatar and she loved being the Avatar. It was a part of her, a part of her that was destined to be there centuries before she was born.

Even so, that knowledge didn't make Asami feel any better.

"Korra?" She called, finally turning to look at the girl on the bed, staring aimlessly out the window. Korra didn't answer, but she shifted her gaze to Asami. "I want to ask you a question and…whatever answer you give me, I'll support." Korra gave her a curious look, her brows furrowed together as Asami knelt down next to the bed. "It's been almost three weeks, it's time to figure out where to go from here. What do you want to do next?"

Closing her eyes, Korra lowered her head down and a small smile drew across her lips. "Nobody's asked me that." She laughed softly. "I don't think Tenzin and Kya are going to be able to help me. I—I don't even know what kind of help I need anymore." She looked up to Asami, guilt heavy in her eyes. "My parents are going home in two days. My dad—he has to get back, be the chief. He wants me to come home with him. Just for a while."

"Do you want to?"

Korra shrugged. "If I'm as far away from being who I used to be as it seems then…it would be nice to go home. To get away from this place for a while. Clear my head."

"Okay," Asami nodded, her mind running through all of the things she would have to move around to allow herself another trip out of the city. Her board of directors wouldn't be happy but they had managed so far. "I've always wanted to spend more time in the South." The hesitation in Korra's face made Asami's stomach twist into knots. "Sorry—I mean—if you want me to come. I—I'd love to come."  _I love you_. "I want to."

"I can't ask you to do that."

Asami smiled, taking Korra's hand. "You're not asking me. I'm asking you. Can I come with you?"

She felt Korra drop a second hand on top of her own. A moment later, Korra's head was resting on her shoulder. Asami reached up and ran a hand through Korra's hair.

Korra nodded and Asami felt her entire world rebalance.

They sat together for a while. Asami running a hand through Korra's hair, both of them staring at their hands now locked together. Korra took her free hand and gently flipped Asami's over so her palm was facing up. She then started to trace her finger across each one of Asami's. Her touch was so soft and intimate that Asami could feel her heart starting to race. She closed her eyes, taking a shuddering breath as Korra trailed her touch up Asami's wrist before going back down to the tip of her index finger.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Korra whispered, not looking up from their hands.

Asami buried her face in Korra's hair. "I'm not going anywhere."


	8. Don't Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra isn't the only one struggling. Asami isn't the only one who can offer comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/Panic Attack

The boat ride to Air Temple Island had become quite familiar to Asami over the last few weeks. She'd made the trip at least a dozen times and she always tried to make itthe trip as quick as possible.

Today was different though. Today, she wished there was an ocean between Republic City and Air Temple Island. Her emotions were a mess, battling in her head for supremacy but none could win. They all sat there, just simmering inside her.

When she approached her board of directors about the trip South, she intended to take more time away. She was the CEO of Future Industries, she'd taken the company from the embarrassment her father put it through and turned everything around. It made sense that she could take this trip and still manage things well enough. Her board didn't see it that way .They unanimously voted that she had to either stay or step down. To her, the choice was obvious, and now the company was gone. The last connection she had to her family was no longer in her possession.

It made her sick. Her hands trembled on the steering wheel of the boat almost itching to turn around and fix what she had done. They'd told her it was too much. Between her time traveling through the Earth Kingdom and now with helping Korra there was no way she could take even more leave. She had to choose between her company and the avatar.

She chose Korra, almost arrogantly as she flipped her hair and sauntered out of the room.

Now, she found herself parked in the middle of Yue Bay, throwing up over the edge and into the water. Her throat constricted, her nose burned as she strained once more before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and falling into the seat.

Asami didn't regret the decision, it would be worse to stay here and let Korra go alone. She needed Korra and that was more than enough for Asami. Still, it was awful to let Future Industries go. It happened so fast that the actual consequences of it hadn't really settled in yet.

She laughed, looking at the boat she sat in. She would probably lose it, lose everything she had.

Just like Korra had lost everything. They could be lost together.

This made her laugh and roll her eyes. "Don't be tragic, Asami. You'll figure it out." She imagined her mother telling her this. It made the advice seem more reasonable. Even though she had just lost her company and was heading to the South Pole for who knew how long to follow the girl she loved.

With a knot in her throat, Asami restarted the boat and continued driving.

The boat was barely parked when the world came crashing back. Bolin was waiting for her, screaming. "Asami! You have to hurry! Something's wrong with Korra!"

She stepped onto the dock, hardly taking the time to tie her boat down before she was racing alongside Bolin.

"What happened?" She asked. He looked terrified.

"I don't know, Mako and I were just talking to her and then she started staring at something. I swear it was nothing though! Just a plant in the corner! It freaked her out and she was gasping and choking. Then she started scratching at her wrists and crying!"

Asami darted into the house, out running Bolin down the hallway.

Korra was sitting on the bed, her hair a wild mess atop her head. She was rocking back and forth, one of her arms was tucked to her side while the other scratched across the skin of her wrist.

"Korra," Asami gasped, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room. Her parents, Tenzin, Jinora and Mako were all there. Senna was the closest, trying to reach Korra but it wasn't working.

Asami moved to the bed, nearly falling over as she kicked off her shoes and took off her jacket. She climbed onto the bed carefully in front of Korra.

"No!" Korra shouted between short, sharp breaths. "I don't want these chains on anymore! Take them off! _Please_!" Korra sobbed loudly, her throat cracking under the pressure. "Please don't hurt me anymore…"

Asami reached up, her fingers delicately tracing across Korra's cheek. She jumped at the contact but Asami continued, smoothing her palm against Korra's skin.

"Hey, Korra. It's me…you're okay. You're not chained up, nobody is hurting you. You have to _breathe_ , Korra."

The look of fear in Korra's eyes was haunting. Asami had never seen her so scared. ""I—I don't—" Korra continued muttering out words that didn't make sense. Asami used her other hand to stop Korra from scratching. She'd torn the skin on her wrist trying to free herself from invisible chains. "Asami," Korra finally cried, looking at her. "Help."

"Okay," Asami nodded. She had to calm her down. "Korra I need you to focus, tell me something that relaxes you. Anything at all, just tell me something you think of that calms you when you're stressed or scared." Asami had a hold of both of Korra's hands, looking Korra in the eyes, searching for anything in those wild blues orbs to cling to. "Come on, Korra. _Talk_ to me."

"S—song…my mom used to…sing it to me. Sunshine." Asami glanced back at Senna who quickly moved beside the bed.

"It's a lullaby." Senna said, fighting against her own emotions as she watched her daughter break down. "I…would sing it to Korra when she was little."

Asami nodded, turning back to Korra. "I don't know it so you'll have to help me learn it, okay?" She smiled brightly when Korra looked at her. "Sing it for me?"

"Y—you are my…sunshine, my only sunshine." Korra's arms twitched violently in Asami's grasp, reaching to claw at her wrist again.

"Come on, Korra. Sing the rest of it. I _need_ you to sing it to me."

Korra nodded quickly, fighting within herself. "You make me…happy…when skies are grey." The tenseness in Korra's body started to soften. "You'll never know dear, how much I…love you." Korra's breathing started to slow down, her eyes closed and her body sagged. "Please don't take my sunshine away."

Asami knew everyone was watching them, she didn't care. Korra was settling down, but she needed more. She moved in closer, taking Korra into her arms and running her her hand through Korra's hair, something that comforted them both.

"One more time, okay? I didn't know your voice was so beautiful." Asami grinned and Korra let out a laugh between her tears. The hands that Korra had been painfully scratching at herself with now wrapped around Asami's waist.

She started singing again. Asami lost herself in the sound, it really was beautiful. She'd never heard Korra sing before, had never even thought she could. Now, she wanted to hear it every day, in much better circumstances.

When the second round of the song was finished, Korra had settled down, exhausted. Everyone else in the room had, as well. Asami ran her hand up and down Korra's back, whispering into her ear that she was safe, protected and loved. She knew some of them were looking at her funny, the way she held Korra, the way she touched her and talked to her.

She didn't care, she'd just given up her whole world for Korra, it was useless to pretend that anything else was more important than the girl in her arms.

"Her whole aura changed when Asami came in." Jinora whispered to her dad, though loud enough that everyone could hear it.

Tenzin sighed. "Come on, let's give her some space." He then guided Jinora out of the room.

"Korra," It was Senna, Asami turned to see both Senna and Tonraq kneeling down beside them. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"No," Korra said almost teasingly against Asami's shoulder. She turned to look at her parents. "But I feel better. I'm sorry I scared you." Korra laughed softly. "Scared myself."

Tonraq kissed Korra on the forehead before standing up and making a hasty exit. Asami watched him leave, knowing he was upset he couldn't do more for his daughter.

"Do you want to wash up, Korra?" Senna asked, taking her daughter's scarred arm and examining where she'd clawed at her wrist. "Kya can heal this."

Slowly, Korra pushed off of Asami, with a little help, she sat back up. "I—I thought I was chained up again. I thought I saw—" she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah, I'd like to clean up."

"Okay," Senna stood. "I'll go run you a bath."

Now it was just Asami, Korra, Bolin and Mako. Korra glanced over to where both brothers were watching. Bolin smiled, Mako looked like he wanted to run away, Asami credited him for staying.

"I didn't know you could sing!" Bolin boasted as if nothing else had happened. Asami had an urge to hug him for making Korra blush the way she did.

"Yeah," she shrugged bashfully. "I've never sang in front of anyone before."

"It was really nice," Mako added, keeping his voice as even as he could.

He wasn't lying, it was really nice. Even in her shaken state the sound of her voice made Asami long to hear it again. On the next good day, she definitely planned to ask Korra to sing to her.

"Okay," Asami gently helped Korra sit up, smiling at her as she moved off the bed. Even as she did, Korra grabbed her hand and held it, almost like a lifeline. Asami didn't dare pull away. "She's gonna get ready for her bath now so you fire ferrets have to leave."

Both brothers exited the bedroom and left them alone. Once Asami knew they were out of earshot, she turned to Korra and gently cupped her cheek. It felt strange to hide these intimate touches. They weren't actually in any sort of relationship that needed to be hidden. Yet Asami felt like this was meant only for them.

It seemed to be a mutual feeling when Korra nuzzled needily into Asami's hand.

"You okay?" Asami asked, leaning in to kiss Korra on the forehead.

Korra shook her head. "I couldn't _stop_." She whispered. "It felt like there were spider-wasps crawling in my skin. I wanted—" Korra started to shake again. "I wanted to tear my arm off to break free!"

"Easy," Asami knelt down again, rubbing her thumb along Korra's cheek. "Try and forget about it. You're not chained up, no one is hurting you. We're gonna get you in a bath, wash your hair, change your clothes and start packing for the South, okay?"

"Okay," Korra sniffled. "Okay." She repeated.

Asami leaned up and kissed her atop the head again. "You're so strong, Korra."

She hoped if she said it enough times, Korra might actually start believing it.

—

Stress felt like it was going to consume her. Asami sat on a closed toilet seat in the middle of the night, her hands fisted in her hair, just trying to shut her mind off long enough to calm down.

She'd given up everything, everything that represented the Sato name. It was terrifying and at times seemed like the worst decision she'd ever made. How could she let it all go? Let her family's history go? It was such a rash decision. At the time it felt like a stance, a stance for the girl that the world had given up on. Now though, she couldn't stop thinking about what it all meant.

Future Industries was gone. She signed it over and couldn't just walk into the next meeting and pretend she was joking. It belonged to the board now, until they found a new CEO.

Asami kept telling herself she was doing it for Korra, which she was and she wanted to go to the South with Korra, but what happened if Korra got better? What if Korra healed and resumed her duties and didn't feel the same way about her? She would be left with nothing, more so than when her father betrayed her.

"Dad," she whispered into the quiet bathroom. She hadn't told him, wasn't planning to. It wasn't his problem to worry about anymore, he'd given up that right as soon as he tried to hurt her friends.

Her stomach hurt, so much that she thought she might throw up. Asami stood in a hurry, rushing to the sink and pouring water into her hands. She splashed it into her face a few times before turning the faucet off and looking at herself in the mirror.

The reflection looking back at her was familiar. It was the same reflection she saw growing up after her mother died. The same reflection she saw when she found out her father was an Equalist. It was the same reflection she saw when Future Industries was nearly bankrupt, when The Red Lotus tried to tear the world apart.

The knot in her stomach subsided. It was the same reflection that had been through so much and always figured it out. She wasn't hopeless. She'd lost a lot, yes, but she could rebuild her life again. Future Industries didn't define her.

Once she was able to calm herself down, Asami's thoughts traveled to their most consistent destination. Korra.

Not a day passed where Asami didn't wish she and Korra were different people. Born into another life. Where the Avatar was an earthbender in Ba Sing Se and she was merely the daughter of a happy family who owned a small repair shop in the city. She could meet Korra by chance and ask a girl she found attractive out on a date. They'd grow close, like they were meant for each other in a thousand different lifetimes, and just be happy. No monsters hunting Korra, no tragedies chasing Asami.

Just a normal life together.

Those thoughts were broken up by the sound of something crashing in the distance. Immediately Asami's instincts kicked in and she darted out of the bathroom towards the noise. She was wearing her night dress and little else, but she was prepared to fight if need be.

More rustling came from the kitchen and Asami slowed down to sneak up on any would be attacker.

"Spirits," a deep voice cursed from the kitchen and Asami deflated immediately.

It was Tonraq. She peeked around the corner to see him picking up a rag to bend down and lift shards of broken glass from the floor.

"You too?" Asami made her presence known, drawing Tonraq's attention as he lifted up the broken glass and threw it away. "I broke a glass the first night we got back."

He grinned slightly. "I am grateful for Tenzin letting us stay here but all of these Air Nomad things are so fragile." He turned, running his hands together and wincing. "What's got you up this late?"

Asami knew what he was doing, she'd spent enough time with his daughter to understand this. He was changing the subject to avoid showing he was injured.

"You cut your hand, didn't you?"

Tonraq smiled. "You're quite perceptive."

"No," Asami grabbed a towel and sat down at the table, gesturing for him to join her. "I'm just familiar with your family. Korra tries to hide when she's hurt too. At least she can heal herself, you're just being stubborn."

He chuckled, taking a seat next to her. Asami grabbed his extremely large hand and flipped it over. His palm was cut, not deeply, but there were trickles of blood.

She laid the towel on his hand gently and stood up to find bandages. Pema had bandages everywhere. It made sense considering Meelo flew around the Island without a care in the world and constantly found unique ways to injure himself.

When she returned, bandage in hand, she sat down and removed the towel. "So you must be excited to return to the South? With your sturdy cups and plates?"

He chuckled. "I am. It will be good to be back. It's very warm here as well."

"Compared to what you're used to, I imagine." Asami wrapped Tonraq's hand carefully. The size of his in comparison to her own made her feel like a child.

"I understand you'll be joining us?" For a brief moment, the panic returned. What if he didn't want her to come? She'd asked Korra but it was Tonraq and Senna's home. Her eyes must have given her away because he quickly continued. "You're more than welcome, Asami. I told you that you were welcome in our tribe."

Suddenly that vision of she and Korra in different lives shifted. Now they were living in the South. Away from all of this and just enjoying one another. Staying up late to watch the lights of the spirits dance in the sky. That dream didn't seem so far fetched.

"Thank you," Asami smiled, fighting the urge to cry. She was so damn tired of crying. "I just couldn't imagine not being around her every day. It'd probably drive me crazy."

Tonraq didn't respond and they fell silent, even after Asami wrapped up his hand. Asami found comfort in Tonraq's presence though. He was a father, she felt that same warmth around him that she had for her own father before everything happened. She wanted to sink into that feeling and forget the world for a while.

"We should rest," Tonraq said, his hand suddenly gripping over her own. She looked up at him, his eyes warm and comforting, familiar. Asami wasn't sure if he knew her story. If he knew about her dead mother and her imprisoned father and how truly messed up her family was, but something in the way he looked at her said he might. "When we get back to the South, I may need your help in setting up the palace for Korra to get around. Lots of stairs."

Asami nodded. "I'd love to help."

"Excellent," he let her hand go and stood up. "Goodnight Asami."

"Goodnight," she watched him leave and bit her bottom lip to fight the tears. She didn't want to cry tonight, good or bad, she wasn't up for it.

Instead, she stood up and decided to go check on Korra. As was always the case when she did this, she hoped Korra was asleep. Most of the time she wasn't. Korra slept more during the day, when the temple was busy and people were around her. Asami didn't need any special training in the human mind to know that Korra was afraid. Why wouldn't she be? She was the Avatar. As long as she lived there would always be someone trying to hurt her. Zaheer was still alive, he broke out of prison once, why couldn't he again? He could come back and finish the job.

Asami would soon die before she let him anywhere _near_ Korra.

A sudden clap of thunder sounded in the air, a beat later heavy rain started to fall against the roof. Suddenly she was walking a little faster to Korra's room.

When she cracked open the door, the sight she expected was there. Korra was awake, sitting up against her pillows and staring out the window with her blanket tucked in close to her chest.

"Preparing for another day of napping?" Asami asked, making Korra jump a little. Korra smiled and Asami could see her duck her head, most likely to hide a blush before Asami stepped inside. "How'd you get up on the pillows like that?" She noted that Korra was sitting up against the wall more than when she'd went to bed.

Korra smiled a little brighter. "I wiggled my way up here. Took me about thirty minutes but I made it. Probably the proudest I've been of myself in weeks."

"That's great, Korra!" Asami sat down next to her. "No pain?"

"No new pain," Korra shrugged and must have noted Asami's frown. "It's nothing serious. The pain in my back isn't bad anymore, just…a constant throb."

A sudden crack of thunder sounded again, Asami watched Korra jump and pull her blanket closer, like a small child. She had to physically stop herself from tilting her head and saying "aww".

"You're scared of thunder?"

Korra grinned sheepishly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I always have been. Sokka, Katara's brother?"

"I'm familiar," Asami chuckled.

"Yeah, uh…he thought it was an Avatar thing. Since Aang was struck by lightning from Azula and nearly died. That it just kinda…passed onto me." The wind picked up, slamming the falling rain into the window. "It's getting pretty nasty out there." Asami stared out the window, but could tell Korra was staring at her.

"You want to cuddle?" She said, half-teasing but let the question linger because she was pretty sure of what the answer would be.

Korra giggled a bit and Asami considered it the cutest sound in the world. Korra's venture to sit up on her pillows on her own had put her in a very good mood.

"If you don't mind? Just until the storm passes."

Asami moved off the bed and scooped Korra into her arms, only she didn't lift her, just moved her over in the bed. Korra didn't protest, just opened her arms to Asami.

All of this was becoming second nature to them. Holding one another, long nights spent entangled, close contact that both of them seemed to crave. Everything was so messed up. In a way, they were both extremely fragile, so nights like this were important. The reminder that they weren't alone. Even if Korra's life was in pieces and Asami's life was changing by the second, they still had this.

"Okay, we should talk or something, right? Ignore the light—" another crack sounded and Korra yelped. " _Lightning_ ," she growled towards the window and Asami laughed softly.

"Well what do you want to talk about?"

Korra shrugged. "Nothing sad, not tonight."

"That sounds perfect actually,"

"Okay, so…should we like…exchange questions?"

Asami raised a brow. "Okay," she didn't sound very confident in this idea. "I guess I'll start." A flash of lightning burned through the window, coloring the room around them for a second. Before the thunder followed, Korra tucked herself in close to Asami. "You are such a puppy." Asami teased, hearing Korra groan when the rumble sounded. She stroked Korra's hair again when the Avatar looked back up. "So my first question is obvious," she lingered, enjoying Korra's confusion. "You can _sing_?"

It was fairly dark in the room with the looming clouds hiding the moon but Asami knew Korra was blushing now. She sighed and hugged herself a little.

"It's nothing." Korra said, her voice quiet.

"It's not nothing, Korra. You have a wonderful voice."

Korra chuckled. "I've never sang for anyone before. Just when I'm alone. It never helped the Avatar cause so it didn't seem worth showing anyone. I mostly just sing to myself when I'm supposed to be meditating."

Asami caught herself getting lost in Korra's eyes, even in the dim light from the window she could see the blue staring back at her. "I'd love for you to sing for me someday."

"If I'm going to sing for anyone," Korra looked down at their hands held together in her lap. "It'll be you."

For a brief second, Asami felt her courage rise enough to kiss Korra. She wanted to. It was a perfect moment. Korra was in a good mood, the rain was falling, they were blanketed in darkness. Just the two of them, isolated in this room from the world. What if tomorrow was a bad day and Korra fell deeper? What if this was her one chance?

"My turn?" Korra asked and Asami came back down to earth.

She smiled. "Yep." Lightning flashed again and Asami reached up to cover Korra's ears.

Korra grinned. "I can still hear—" the rumble came and Korra still jumped. " _Ugh_ , I'll be happy to just have snow in the South." She said as Asami let her hands fall from Korra's head. "Okay, umm…favorite color?" Asami stared at her derisively. "What? It's either black or red, cause you wear both, but I don't know which one is at the top!"

Blue. Asami thought but didn't have the courage to say. She almost kissed the girl a second ago but now she couldn't even admit that Korra's eyes were her favorite color?

 _You're hopeless, Asami_.

"Red," she said, before Korra it was her favorite. "My mom always wore it, a lot of my wardrobe is just me trying to take after her. I always thought she looked beautiful and could make any outfit look amazing."

With as much strength as she had, Korra squeezed Asami's hand. "I wish I could have met her." Korra said.

Suddenly their roles were reversed and Korra was the one reaching up, brushing hair out of her eyes and smiling at her sympathetically. It made Asami's throat dry, like she was swallowing cotton balls.

"Sh—she was my whole world. I think most of the things I do are just to make her proud." A harsh melancholy washed through her. "I hope I have."

Asami hoped, she wanted to believe that her mother would be pleased with the choices she made today. Giving up the company and everything that her family worked for, the family that didn't exist anymore. The parents that left her, in their own ways. Her mother taken, her father removing himself. She hoped her mother would be proud of her decision to focus on what mattered now, her decision to choose love.

Korra was pulling at her and Asami gave in and found herself being held, much as she had with Korra on numerous nights over the last few weeks.

When another flash of lighting crossed the sky, Korra didn't jump. She just ran her surprisingly soft fingers through Asami's hair.

"If I met your mom, I'd tell her about all the wonderful things you've done. How you protected innocent people from Equalists and kept fighting for Future Industries when no one thought you could. I'd tell them about how you helped me change the world and how…" Korra sighed, her fingers trembling against Asami's skin. "H—how much I need you, how important you are to me."

They were quiet for a while, Korra absently running her hand up and down Asami's back.

"I love you, Korra." It wasn't a declaration, more of a fact. Just love, whatever Korra wanted it to mean, Asami was offering it to her.

There was no hesitation in Korra's response. "I love you too."

Asami's worries drifted away. She was already home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know "you are my sunshine" is probably not a canon thing. But it felt right and it's kind of an important song from my childhood and so I used it. Plus I'd love to hear Korra sing it, lol


	9. Tightrope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they set out for the South, the lines begin to blur between Korra and Asami.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a struggle for me, I want to thank all the people who helped me sort it out and be accurate with what I was depicting in it. My beta mixberkaan and apnsb for helping me make it all work. Thank you ;)
> 
> And seriously, you guys overwhelm me with the support for this story. It means so much. I hope I continue to keep your attention.

"I can't believe you guys are really leaving!" Bolin cried, hugging Asami for the fourth time.

She laughed into his shoulder, patting him on the back. "You'll be alright, Bolin. It's only for a little while."

They all stood at the dock, air acolytes and White Lotus carrying their things aboard Tonraq's ship.

Over the last few weeks, the natural response to this trip was always, "it's only for a little while".

Despite assurances otherwise, Korra hugged Tenzin's children as though it was going to be a long time before she saw them again. Mako looked at and Korra like he wanted to remember their faces. Bolin plucked one of Asami's hairs out to keep as a momento, then lost it in a gust of wind.

Nothing about this trip felt like "a little while".

Asami was excited, but also sad to leave the only home she'd ever had. Republic City was her favorite place in the world, if this really was just a quick trip, it wouldn't feel like she was trying to soak in every detail of this place to remember.

Deep down, Asami knew Korra didn't plan on coming back here until she could properly defend it. That was months away, if not more.

To her credit, Korra was doing her best to soothe everyone that came to bid her farewell. She looked much better today, her hair was wolf tailed like before, she was wearing her usual blue vest and armbands. The only thing different was the wheelchair she sat in.

Whatever conversation Korra had with Jinora had built a quiet bond between them. They hugged and Jinora whispered something to Korra that made her start crying. hen they pulled back, Korra brushed her tears away to hide them from anyone else.

"Okay," Bolin moved to Korra, bright smile on his face as Pabu moved around his neck. "Don't take this the wrong way but…I can't wait for you guys to leave."

Mako scowled and crossed his arms. "How else are they supposed to take that but the wrong way?"

"I mean because I've never had a pen pal before! Now I have two!" Bolin started digging through his pants pocket. "I'm gonna write you both so many letters and just to be the ball rolling. Here" He extended letters to both Korra and Asami. "Spoiler alert, Pabu and I already miss you." Bolin loved to liven up any situation, but the way his voice changed as he said he missed them made Asami smile. She hugged him for the fifth time.

When they broke apart, he looked at Korra who stared at the envelope in her hand, trying to smile. "Thanks. That's sweet."

"Are you sure you don't want more company?" Bolin asked, his arms wide. "We could make it a Team Avatar trip!"

Korra looked away. "No, that's okay. we'll only be gone a couple of weeks."

"Now," Tenzin stepped to Korra, dropping a hand on her shoulder. Jinora beaming at her from his side. "I don't want you to worry about a thing while you're gone. Your recovery should be your number one concern. Jinora, the airbenders and I have everything under control."

Even though his words were meant to comfort Korra, Asami could tell they were doing the opposite. Reminding her that she couldn't help anyone right now.

They were all together now, when everyone stood around her like this, Korra seemed so small in her chair.

A few more goodbyes came and went. Eventually they were all on the ship and waving to the dock as they pushed off into the water. Asami had packed as much as she could, since she would most likely be moving everything out of the mansion anyway. At least she had somewhere to go for now, whatever laid ahead beyond this wasn't nearly as certain. Asami didn't really have much of a home anymore beyond Korra.

Considering they didn't sleep (again) the night before and spent most of her morning cleaning up for the trip, she was tired by the time they finally settled onto the ship. They had their own room, nothing much.

Asami had a cot next to Korra's bed to sleep in and that's where she currently sat as she went through one of her bags desperately searching for a hair tie because the wind was giving her fits whenever she stepped outside.

Korra was on the bed, leaning up against some pillows and was pretending to read a book about fire healing.

"Ugh," Korra groaned, putting the book down.

"You okay?" Asami asked, not looking back as she continued to rummage through her bag.

"Fine," Korra said, not sounding particularly fine. "Stomach hurts. It has all morning."

Asami began pulling items out and putting them on her cot. "Did you eat today?"

"I had some of the soup my mom made this morning. I just wasn't that hungry."

"You need to eat better," she spoke sharper than she intended. Her frustration at this useless search for hair ties was directed poorly. "Sorry, I just…you used to eat all the time."

Korra chuckled. "I used to work out all the time."

"Well when we get back to the South and Katara sees you then we'll figure out a good plan to get your body moving again."

She heard a sigh from the bed. "My body doesn't move,"

Asami sat up straighter. "Korra?" She warned, keeping her focus away from the Avatar.

"Sorry," Korra said. "We'll…see what Katara—" Korra groaned. "I feel so bad today."

"Do you want me to get Kya?" Asami was going through her bag again. "She can help you relax?" Just as Asami finally found the hair ties she was looking for, Korra started to whimper behind her. "Korra?" Asami turned on her cot and saw Korra biting her bottom lip, her eyes closed. "Hey, are you okay?"

Suddenly Korra threw her hand at the wall next to her bed in frustration. "Dammit!" She cursed, making Asami climb off her cot and move to the bed.

"What's wrong?"

Embarrassment was written all over Korra's face as her eyes welled up and she refused to look at Asami. "I—I forgot that…my—" Korra stumbled over her words, when it became clear that Asami wasn't going to to leave it alone, she let it out. "My cycle just started and I'm pretty sure I just made a mess of my pants."

"Oh," Asami breathed, almost relieved that it wasn't an injury or another panic attack. "Okay well we can—"

"No!" Korra barked, making Asami jump. "I don't want you to."

This gave Asami pause. "Korra, it's okay."

Tears fell softly down Korra's cheeks. "It isn't, you shouldn't—" she winced again, not bothering to finish her protest and instead turning to face the wall.

"Korra," Asami sat down next to her. "You know we have to clean this up. You have to take care of yourself." Korra closed her eyes, tears springing from them and trickling down her cheeks. "It will be really easy, okay? I've got some stuff in my bag."

The only response given was a shrug. Asami sighed and climbed off the bed, hooking Korra in her arms and helping her lay down.

The actual process of cleaning her up was simple enough. She pulled off Korra's pants and underwear. They were fairly spotted with blood. Asami put them into a bag and retrieved a fresh pair.

Despite the fact that she tried her best to be efficient and casual, Korra never looked at her. Asami understood it was hard, but this wasn't anything new, it was a natural thing that all women dealt with. Korra shouldn't feel shame for her body's normal routines.

Once she cleaned Korra up and took steps to help her stay that way for the next few hours, she pulled on the new pair of pants and went to sit Korra back up.

However, as soon as she touched Korra's hand, it jerked away. "I want to take a nap." Korra said, her voice hollow.

"Oh," Asami reached for the blanket at the food of the bed and started to pull it up.

"Don't, I don't need it. My stomach hurts and I just want to rest."

"Okay," Asami let the blanket go, watching Korra hug herself and close her teary eyes. "I'm gonna go see how your parents are doing. If—" Asami sighed, wondering if Korra was even listening to her. "I'll leave the door open. Call out if you need me. I won't go far."

At Korra's silence, Asami exited the room with her hair ties in hand and felt the tension knot in her stomach. She couldn't understand why Korra reacted that way. It wasn't a big deal, in fact, she'd felt guilty for not thinking about what they might do when the time eventually came. She didn't know Korra's time but it was an inevitability she should have seen coming.

She didn't go far, just down the hall to an empty room with a porthole she could look out. There was a small wooden chair nearby that she drug over to sit on, taking a deep breath as she sat.

Maybe it wasn't as simple as Asami had thought. It was easy for her to help Korra with things like that and pass it off as helping someone she cared about. Then again, it was always easier for the person giving help than the one receiving it. She wasn't the one struggling to control her own body.

"Knock, knock," Asami turned at the voice to see Korra's mom standing in the doorway. Senna smiled at her, and Asami immediately decided it was one of the most comforting smiles she'd ever seen. "Didn't mean to interrupt but you were thinking pretty loudly." She winked and Asami grinned.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

Senna moved into the room and leaned against an unused dresser up against the wall. "Everything okay?"

Asami wondered for a brief moment if it was too private to share, but it felt okay, she needed to talk to someone.

"Korra just…" she sighed, hating how hard it was to open up about anything related to Korra, even to Korra's own mother. "Korra had started bleeding," Senna's eyes went wide. "No, no not from her injuries, just her cycle started and she wasn't prepared."

"Oh," Senna relaxed and nodded. "Did you help?"

Asami shrugged. "I mean I cleaned her up and changed her clothes but…I'm not sure how much I _helped."_ This made Senna's brows furrow. "I think it embarrassed her and I get it, but…after everything we've been through I just thought since it was me she'd be okay."

"I'm certain it was better with you than anyone else." Asami shrugged, not really agreeing. "It's a thin line to walk, between being someone's caregiver and being someone's lover."

If Asami's eyes could grow any wider they would fall out of her head. She started up at Senna with shock and horror, her face heating up immediately. "W—what?"

Senna's smile grew, she pushed off the dresser and sat down cross legged on the floor in front of Asami. "Sit," Senna patted the spot next to her and Asami obeyed, her mind still racing with fear that Korra's mother and just called out her deepest secret. "You're a brilliant woman, Asami, but you can't fool a mother. I see the way you touch my daughter. The way you look at her. The way you held her that night she had her accident."

Asami was sincerely hoping the ocean would swallow the entire boat and release her from this moment. "Senna I would never—"

"Relax dear," Senna chuckled, patting Asami's back. "This isn't an accusation. I just want you to know that I know and it's okay. In fact, it explains a lot."

"It does?"

"Bolin and Mako are good kids, they care about Korra, but neither of them insisted on moving to Air Temple Island to be with Korra every day. You did, without hesitation. I check on my daughter at night, more than once I've come into her room to find her in your arms." Asami wondered just how red her face was, it felt like it matched the color of her Future Industries jacket. "You love her. How can I be upset at anyone who loves my child?"

Closing her eyes, Asami exhaled slowly and gave up on hiding. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me." A small smile played on her lips. "She saved me from…who knows what considering the company my father was keeping right underneath our home without me knowing."

"From what I've heard, you've saved her more than once as well."

Asami laughed softly. "I'll _always_ stand by her. Too many people want to hurt Korra to get to the Avatar. It's not fair, I fight for Korra. I don't care about the Avatar."

Senna turned away, nodding slowly as she seemed to lose herself in thought. "I was so scared when Korra started firebending, when we found out she was the Avatar. She was just…my little girl. She was loud, she had the most amazing laugh. She loved cookies and taking baths with her father because they had a bunch of different little games they'd play with their bending in the tub. Then she set one of our chairs on fire and everything changed." Senna's expression changed, sadness and thoughtfulness turned humorous. "I wanted to hide it." Her grin widened. "I told Tonraq, I said; we need to keep her firebending a secret, she's just a cute little waterbender."

"I thought everyone was clamoring to have their child be the next Avatar. I heard of people lying to the White Lotus about it?"

"Oh they were," Senna shook her head. "It's a huge honor and…it carries so much importance but at the same time…it's a terrible life. You said it yourself, There's always someone out there who wants to kill the Avatar. Those awful Red Lotus people hurt my little girl, trying to create some chaotic destiny they believed in so much that they chained up a seventeen year old girl in a cave and poisoned her."

"I wish we'd killed them all," Asami said, her voice dark. "I hate that Zaheer is still alive."

Senna reached into Asami's lap and grabbed her hand. "So do I." She smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "Still though, being the Avatar is so important to Korra and she's put in so much work, a life's worth, to being the best Avatar she can be. It's strange…there's a part of my daughter's life that I will never be able to relate to. I'll never understand what it means to carry the weight around that she does, to be the Avatar. In that regard…she'll always be alone."

It was true, more so now that Korra had no connection to her past lives. She was alone. Nobody could guide her on how to be the Avatar. Tenzin could read a thousand books about past Avatars but he would never be able to understand how it felt. Asami could talk with Korra for hours and hours about everything Korra felt, but she'd never grasp it all.

Korra had gone from being so important and powerful and respected, to suddenly needing help to deal with natural bodily functions.

Asami understood why Korra wanted to be alone, why she was so upset.

Her silence must have lasted longer than she thought, because Senna wrapped an arm over her shoulder at some point and she was being pulled into an embrace.

"I—I love your daughter, Senna." Asami said, her voice soft and cracking.

Senna rubbed circles across her back. "I know you do." She pulled away, holding onto Asami's shoulders. "What are you going to do about it?"

Asami shrugged. "I don't know, it's not up to me. I don't think _she's_ ready to love me back, she may never be ready. Not after all of this, after everything we've dealt with. I'm not sure we can get past it."

"Give her time, I don't think Korra feels particularly attractive these days. if she's at all attracted to you, which I'm certain she is because she calls you beautiful every time she brings you up in her letters to us," Asami felt her stomach flip repeatedly. "Then it's probably hard for her to think you find her attractive at all when you're taking her to the bathroom and cleaning up her messes."

"But I want to do both, I can do both, I do both every day! She's the most beautiful and amazing girl in the world and I'm not just saying that because she's your daughter." Asami joked as the tears sprung in her eyes, making Senna laugh. "I'll never stop taking care of her. I can't."

The look Senna offered Asami sent a wave of nostalgia through her, a feeling of family she had long since forgotten. "I wouldn't expect any less from you. Like I said, give her time. One day it will click that at her worst, you were there. When it does, I know Korra, she'll give you her heart."

Those words were like a lifeline to Asami, she clung to them with everything she had. Right now, the hope of that moment was the only solid thing she could see in her future. She hugged Senna again.

"Thank you, for this and…for letting me stay with you. I apologize for all the stuff I brought."

Senna laughed much easier. "It's not a problem. Tonraq and I are simple people, we have more space than we know what to do with now that we live in that giant palace."

Asami smiled as Senna stood up and went to find her husband. She sat for a while longer, her mind racing with the fact that she'd just openly admitted to her feelings to Korra's mother. It went far better than expected. She wasn't sure if she was ready to bare her heart to Korra though. She was ready, she'd been ready for a while, but Korra needed time. For now Asami was happy to make Korra feel comfortable and see if anything progressed on it's own.

It wasn't as if things hadn't moved forward. They'd grown so close these last few months and had become extremely intimate with one another recently.

Right now, all Asami wanted to do was hold Korra and tell her it was okay.

When she finally stood back up, using the hair ties she spent so long searching for, she quietly walked back to Korra.

Asami couldn't tell if Korra was really asleep or not. Her eyes were closed and her hands were folded across her stomach. She'd grown accustomed to seeing Korra with her hair down, not that it was wolf tailed again it was almost easy to forget that Korra was injured. She looked so much like her old self today. Still, her gaze drifted to the ruined pants balled up on the floor and remembered that Korra was far from her old self right now.

Carefully, Asami crawled onto the small space on the bed next to Korra and laid down, her back to the girl next to her. When Korra let out a sigh, Asami knew she was awake. Neither of them said anything before Asami finally fell asleep.

—

It was dark when Asami finally woke, something started stirring next to her. She was confused at first, her surroundings unfamiliar. There was a large row of shelves that housed a few bags, then a door on the right, all of it made of steel.

As the grogginess started to wear off, she again felt the bed shift, turning around, she saw Korra trying to wiggle herself up.

"Mmm...hey, you okay?" She asked, the knowledge of where she was returning.

"I need to...change these things."

Asami nodded, three weeks worth of exhaustion felt like it was piling on her. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and reaching for her bag to pull out more pads. She hadn't packed very many. It wasn't an issue she'd previously thought of. In truth, everything about this situation with Korra was unexpected.

Korra groaned again in pain and Asami looked back at her. "Sorry," she offered and Korra shrugged.

"Nothing new, well other than not being able to take care of it myself." She winced. "They are bad today though."

"You know what works for me is warm water, I bet we could borrow Kya's water pouch."

Hugging herself, Korra nodded, clearly in too much pain to argue. Asami was off the bed and in search of Kya. It was the middle of the night, only a few White Lotus guards were patrolling but there was a light on down the hall and she hoped it was someone who could help.

She moved to the doorway and saw Kya sitting up reading a scroll of some kind, her hair tied atop her head and a cup of tea on the table beside her.

"Asami? What are you doing up? Is Korra okay?"

"She's not hurt or anything she just...can I borrow one of your water skins?"

Kya tilted her head a bit. "Sure, you planning on learning to waterbend?"

Asami smiled. "No, Korra has some cramping and I think warm water might help settle it down."

"Oh, of course." Kya rose from her bed and moved to one of her bags. She had a much easier time finding her things than Asami had earlier. "Here."

"Thank you," Asami shook the waterskin. "Now I have to figure out how to warm it up."

"I can do that."

Asami frowned. "Wait really?"

Kya chuckled. "Of course! If we can freeze water, why wouldn't we be able to heat it up?" She then settled her hand under the skin and started moving it in circles. Soon enough, the skin started to feel warm in her hand. "There, if you need a refresh come find me."

"Thank you," Asami smiled, resisting the urge to hug her. Kya had been so kind and open to helping in any way she could. Asami made her way back to the room to find Korra with a hand draped over her eyes and the other across her stomach. "Still bad?" Korra nodded. "Alright well I've got this to help." Asami went into another one of her bags piled up in the corner of the room and pulled out one of her towels. She wrapped up the waterskin and gently laid it across Korra's stomach.

Once Korra was settled Asami sat down on her cot and watched her. She still had her face covered, taking slow breaths to try and ease through the pain.

"Sorry to keep you up." Korra said, her voice muffled.

Asami smiled. "It's fine." Korra sighed and Asami climbed off her cot and sat on Korra's bed. "I mean that, Korra. All of this...I don't mind it at all. I know it can be hard but...I promise you I'm not looking at you differently."

Slowly, Korra pulled her arm from her face to look at Asami. "You've cleaned up after me...after...all of these embarrassing thing that have happened. How can you _not_ look at me differently?"

"I just don't, Korra." she shrugged. "I still just think you're strong and brave and...beautiful."

Korra closed her eyes, shaking her head. "You...you can't keep _saying_ things like that to me."

Asami felt her heart starting to race. "Why?" She reached out and took Korra's hand. "Is it really so crazy for me to think...that you're the most amazing person I've ever met?"

"Asami," Korra sighed, opening her eyes again. The blue shining through the darkness somehow, perhaps Asami was just imagining it. "I-I'm not who I used to be. I may never be again."

"Hey," Asami scooted up near Korra's head, reaching out to run a hand through her hair. "Korra, listen to me. I'm not saying these things because I am attracted to the person you used to be. I'm not saying them because I'm attracted to the person I think you will be again someday. I'm saying all this because I'm attracted to you right now. In the middle of the night on this boat. I'm here because…" Asami saw the trepidation and excitement dancing in Korra's eyes. She had already gone too far, there was no eject button. "Because I've wanted to kiss you for longer than I care to admit. I have feelings for you, Korra." It felt like she was hyperventilating. Each word harder and harder to say.

After a short silence fell between them, both girls staring into each other's eyes, Korra's hand found Asami's in her hair. She squeezed it as best she could. "I'm _scared_."

"I know," Asami nodded. "I am too."

"What if I'm not enough? What if I get worse? Asami I may never walk again. I can't even do everyday things on my own, I don't want you stuck with me if I-"

Asami wasn't interested in the rest of that sentence, instead, she leaned down and gently kissed her. Korra gasped against Asami's lips, making a soft whimper at the sensation. When they broke apart, Asami kept their faces close.

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere." She dropped soft kisses across Korra's cheeks, nose and lips. "We don't have to rush anything, Korra. I know your recovery comes first. I want to help you get through this, and you will get through this, but I can't pretend I don't feel this way about you. Not anymore." She traced the tips of her fingers against the soft skin of Korra's cheeks. "What do _you_ think?"

Korra seemed like she was searching Asami's eyes, trying to find any sense of doubt in those words. Soon after, her hand was in Asami's hair, drawing her in. "I'm still scared." She kissed Asami deeply, holding her in place. When the kiss finally broke, Korra was smiling.


	10. Fragile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the dark of night, it seemed perfect. In the light of day, imperfections consumed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to apnsb for help with this, and to my beta mixberkaan for consistently being awesome. This chapter took some time and was really a pain to write.
> 
> Also thanks to all of you, the feedback for this has been unreal.

Kissing Korra was pretty spectacular. Asami had only had a few kisses in her life. A boy in prep school, a bit more than kisses with a girl in boarding school a few years later. Then Mako and now Korra. The difference with Korra was how much her hands started shaking every time they kissed.

It was early morning when she woke up, light barely peeking in through the porthole above their heads. Asami woke up to find Korra laying her back, head turned, just staring at her. "Hey," Korra said, her voice still thick from sleep.

"Hi," Asami rolled over so she was facing the girl beside her and smiled. "You sleep okay?"

Korra nodded. "Yeah, took me a while but I think I managed five hours."

"Good," Asami grabbed Korra's hand under the blanket. "I should probably get out of your bed before your parents come in."

"I thought you said my mom knew?"

"She does," Asami started absentmindedly tracing Korra's forearm. "It's just…I don't want them coming in here with me curled up against you like a lemur."

This made Korra laugh, Asami's favorite sound even though she'd heard it a thousand times before. "You're the one who decided we should go to bed last night." Korra's gaze flitted from Asami's lips then back to her eyes.

"I don't want to start something we can't finish," Asami grinned, gripping Korra's arm and leaning up to kiss her. Korra was a shy kisser, untrained and gentle. Like she was afraid she might hurt Asami if she put too much effort into it.

Still she managed to leave Asami breathless each time, mostly because of the blush that painted Korra's cheeks every time they broke apart.

When she broke the kiss, one of Korra's hands had found it's way into Asami's hair. She leaned into the touch, closing her eyes as Korra ran her knuckles down her jaw and gently padded a thump across Asami's bottom lip.

"I can't believe I get to kiss you," Asami breathed, her body heating up. "I've wanted to for so long."

Korra bit her lip shyly. "Really?"

"Yes," Korra continued to touch her face. "Remember when you were meditating and I watched over you?" Korra nodded. "I sat there for almost an hour just….looking at you and how pretty you were and that was the first time I admitted to myself that I was attracted to you. Though I think I've always been drawn to you."

"Even when I was giving you the stink eye at that gala Tarrlok threw for me?" Korra asked tentatively, cringing a bit.

Asami shrugged. "Even still, you were like this pulse of energy…I couldn't figure it out but I just wanted to be around you all the time. I wanted to impress you. It's why I was glad when you finally started to let me in a little.

At Korra's thoughtful look, Asami laid back down on her pillow. Korra had grabbed her hand at some point, their fingers loosely laced together.

"I was surprised you stayed." Korra finally said. "After everything that happened with your father that day...in your house. I thought you might leave."

Asami frowned. "You mean like…joined the Equalists?"

"No," Korra's shook her head against her pillow. "I meant after. After we took down Amon and Mako and I—" She flashed Asami a guilty look.

"Princess, I just told you I've wanted to kiss you for almost six months now. I think we can move past the Mako thing."

Korra chuckled. "I know, we moved past it a long time ago I just…I thought at the time that you would be done with us, with team Avatar. With me."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because," Korra cried, frustration in her voice. "Asami I got your dad arrested, I was the reason you had to leave your home. I put you through so much."

Asami felt her eyes roll and couldn't really stop it. She smiled, sliding over to kiss Korra on the cheek, forcing her to turn her head. "Korra, you didn't put me through anything. I chose to follow you. I chose to fight against the Equalists with you. I chose to put down my father because he was going to hurt you, Bolin, Mako, Tenzin…everyone that had welcomed me with open arms." She felt a weight settle on her chest, thoughts of childhood racing through her mind. The good memories she clung to for so long had become extremely faded. Most of the time Asami wondered if they were real memories or just ones she'd imagined of the life she wished she'd had. "In the end, I chose to help you because I thought you gave me the better chance at a real family. And I was right, because I have that now. I haven't felt as loved and safe as I do right now, thanks to you and everyone we know. Don't think that you cost me anything, Korra. You didn't…you gave me more than I could have hoped for."

Once again, Korra was blushing. Asami fought the urge to see what Korra thought much more intrusive kisses and instead stared into her favorite pair of eyes.

"Asami," Korra whispered after a few long moments of silence.

"Hmm?"

"I smell bad."

Asami found herself laughing as she buried her face in Korra's shoulder and nodded. "Okay, let's get that taken care of then." Asami climbed off the bed, arching her back to stretch out the kinks from sleeping on the hard mattress. She had slept in so many different places in her life since meeting Korra that Asami was fairly certain she could sleep just about anywhere.

The bathroom in their room was the biggest on the boat. It had been decided before the trip that Korra would have the biggest room. She needed the space more and with Asami joined at her hip it made sense. Still, it was smaller than what they'd worked with at Air Temple Island so maneuvering her into the tub would be tricky.

"I hate this," Korra said, her voice even and when Asami glanced back her eyes were staring at the door. "I hate that we have to plot out me taking a bath."

"Come on, Korra, this isn't our first ostrich-horse rodeo, we'll figure it out. I think I have an idea." Asami then grabbed Korra's wheelchair and rolled it next to the bed. "I can put you in this, get you right next to the tub and then lower you in."

With a sigh, Korra nodded. Asami didn't expect much protest. She moved back to the bed, taking off the blankets to reveal Korra's legs.

That was when Asami's hands started shaking.

They had done this over a hundred times since the fight, yet now, Asami was very aware that she was going to be taking Korra's pants off.

When she looked up at Korra, it was obvious she was on edge as well. Her hands were fisted in the blankets, her eyes focused on the ceiling. Everything felt so different now.

Carefully, almost too much so, Asami started to tug Korra's pants down. She maintained her focus on Korra's face, almost willing Korra to look at her and tell her it was okay, but she didn't. Korra closed her eyes, swallowing thickly as Asami's fingers brushed against her dark legs. She knew that Korra couldn't feel this so it helped, but she was still acutely aware of every movement between them.

Once the pants were off, Asami stepped up to her head and Korra finally looked at her. "You okay?"

Korra laughed softly. "This is a little scarier now."

"I know," Asami sat her up slowly, Korra started to reach as though she wanted to use the blankets to cover her lower body up, but she didn't. "Hey," Korra turned to look at her, Asami smiled. "It's no pressure, okay? We're just doing it like we have all along. Nothing more."

Despite her nod, Korra's trepidation was still evident as Asami carefully pulled her tank top up and over her head.

Guilt washed over Asami, she didn't want it to be like this. Korra covered her chest with her arms and closed her eyes when Asami scooped her up and put her in the chair. She pushed her into the bathroom and stepped around to start the water in the tub.

Asami kept her back to Korra, watching the water pour in. It was easy enough to ignore the urges and Asami had effectively done that. She could do this and not think of Korra in any way other than caregiver, but Korra's tenseness made it difficult to concentrate. It made her mind work in overtime, not wanting to do anything to add to the discomfort.

When the tub was half full, Asami turned around with a smile. "Okay, you ready?" Her voice was too chipper, her smile too bright. Korra nodded, not looking at her.

Picking her up, Asami leaned over the tub, her back straining at the angle with which she lowered Korra down. Once Korra was settled, she helped her scoot up a bit so she could sit.

Their faces were inches apart, she could feel Korra's breath hitting her neck and she fought against it. Just as she was about to pull away, Korra's hand, wet from the tub, was against her cheek.

Korra drew her in, kissing her hesitantly for a moment before she closed the distance. Asami was surprised, she'd assumed Korra was mortified by all of this but instead, Korra was initiating it.

Asami moaned into Korra's mouth, her mind barely registering that she'd dropped her hand into the water. Korra pulled back, staring into her eyes. They seemed a darker shade of blue, lust filled and Asami started wondering if she could get away with climbing into the tub right now fully clothed.

However, Korra's gaze flitted away for only a second, down to where Asami's hand had fallen in the tub. She stared at it for what felt like forever and when Asami saw her eyes change, widen in what appeared to be shock, she looked down to see that her hand was on Korra's thigh.

When she looked back to Korra, she was crying.

Everything went away, the lust and the excitement of the moment vanished and Asami almost fell over backwards trying to get away. She turned off the water and contemplated running out of the bathroom. She couldn't, she couldn't just abandon Korra.

Asami clenched her jaw, they had to push through.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking back.

Korra was staring off distantly. "Don't be…I—I started it." Her voice was steady, soft and a little terrifying. Like she was slipping away again. "For a second I…forgot about all this, about how ruined I am."

"Korra,"

"Please don't," Korra shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Don't…give me a speech. You touched me, my bare skin and were kissing me and I just…I couldn't feel a thing." Even though she was crying, Korra's face was expressionless.

"You didn't…feel—"

Asami was interrupted with a shrug.

"I don't want to talk about it. Can we just wash up and get out of here?" Korra still wouldn't look at her.

"Of course."

On shaky legs, Asami stood up and moved behind Korra. There wasn't much room to maneuver but she managed to perch just behind her, using a cup to pour water into Korra's hair like she'd done a few dozen times now.

The silence in the bathroom was deafening. Asami couldn't shake the feeling that they'd stepped over some kind of line. That maybe they could never be both. She'd wanted Korra, Korra clearly wanted her, but the simple reminder that Korra was hurt shut everything down. Asami didn't know why, Korra didn't seem interested in filling her in. Then again, perhaps Korra wasn't even sure of the reason herself.

Their romance was so new, all of this was new. Perhaps too new and too fragile to maintain.

After the bath was finished and Asami had dried and dressed Korra, putting her back in the chair, she knelt down in front of her and took her hand. She had to know.

"Are we okay?"

For the first time since they kissed in the tub, Korra looked at her. "Yeah," she said, smiling. Korra wanted Asami to believe her, maybe Korra wanted to believe it herself, but she didn't.

They were not okay.

—

Asami knew it was a bad idea as soon as she said it, now she found herself sitting across the table from Korra's incredibly intimidating father. He was staring back at her, arms crossed, eyes narrowed and shaking his head.

"I don't know _how_ you talked me into this."

A chuckled sounded behind him. "Because you're as competitive as your daughter." Senna mused as she braided Korra's hair.

They were all on the upper deck, the weather was turning colder the further they traveled but so far it was a fair morning. Asami had suggested to Korra that they go outside and get some air, having been mostly cooped up in her room throughout the trip. Despite her quiet demeanor, Korra agreed the air would do them good.

Asami couldn't help but wonder if she just didn't want to be stuck in the same room with her.

When they'd come across Korra's parents, Senna asked if she could braid Korra's hair, that was when Asami had the idea to suggest a friendly game of pai sho to Tonraq.

Needless to say, Korra's competitive streak ran in the family genes.

"You're have a very calm face, Miss Sato." Tonraq mused, noticing that his 'scary chief' stare wasn't affecting her.

Asami shrugged. "I've stared down Equalists, bandits, lunatics and my fair share of sleazy pick up lines. Takes a lot to intimidate me."

This made him laugh heartily. "I can appreciate that." He then sighed and looked at their game. "I think you've won this one though."

"I think so," no matter what move he made, she was two moves from winning regardless. "It was fun though. You're more of a challenge than Bolin."

"Bolin's not much of a challenge." Korra mused, her voice soft and distant. Something about the wheelchair made Korra more introverted. She enjoyed being outside, moving around, Asami was sure of that. Yet something about the chair wore on her.

Still, Asami couldn't help but think of how beautiful she looked, staring off at the water with her mother working on her hair.

"So," Tonraq started, putting the board away. "Anyone special in your life, Asami?" Her eyes went wide for only a moment before she saw the hint of bemusement on his face.

She felt her face heat up. "Uh…well…yes, actually. There is."

Asami's gaze darted to Korra who had turned to look at her, nearly messing up the braid completely.

"Will you turn around," Senna chided softly, adjusting Korra's head. "Tonraq, I told you that in confidence."

He laughed again. "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't make her sweat the entire time we played the game, I had to do something to see if she could be shaken." He reached across between them and patted her knee. "Don't worry, I approve of you dating my daughter."

Korra groaned. "This is now how I pictured this conversation."

"if you wanted to have a conversation, dear, you should do a better job of sneaking around."

"I can't exactly sneak anymore, Mom. I have to call for help just to sit up." Korra had a way these days of stopping conversations. That was a conversation stopper and it twisted Asami's stomach into knots because the person who had the hardest time seeing beyond the wheelchair was Korra herself.

"When we get home, Katara will help us decide what to do next." Tonraq said, a frown on his face.

"I guess," Korra sighed. "I haven't had any improvement in my legs in _weeks."_

"You haven't done a whole lot the last few weeks, sweetheart," Senna touched Korra's shoulder. "Once we get you in Katara's healing waters and let them do their work, then we can start rebuilding your strength."

Korra didn't respond, and Asami hadn't really expected her to. It was strange to see Korra like this. It was easy to say that she would come back, that everything was okay, but the truth was that none of them knew. Korra hadn't gained much strength back, not really. She still struggled to brush her own teeth, struggled to hold onto anything for too long. Her hips felt tingles, but nothing more, her legs still didn't feel anything (as Asami knew all too well) and she continued to deal with pulses of pain in her back.

These weren't the thing that kept Asami awake at night though, it was the fear of losing Korra to the depression that did.

—

The next four days came and went. Korra and Asami had not shared another kiss since. They slept in the same bed, but never touched. They talked, but it was almost as if their new feelings had been hidden away. Asami wanted to bring it up, but any time she even broached the subject Korra would fade away from her.

Asami just needed to know, if it was too much, they would stop. Still, she was growing frustrated. She'd poured her heart out to Korra that night, Korra had accepted it, and now it felt like touching the subject was a sin.

So on the final night before their arrival to the Southern Water Tribe, Asami decided she'd had enough.

She smoothed out her night shirt and turned off the lantern before climbing into bed. Korra was sitting up, doing what she could with a cup of water, trying to make it move at her command. Before, she'd shifted oceans but now this cup was making her sweat with effort.

Still, it was moving a bit sharper than it had just days before when Asami had seen her doing it. It was improvement, if not much, still something.

Asami stared at her for a moment, watching the intent look in her eyes. She wondered for a moment if bringing this up would be wrong, Korra was so focused but Asami couldn't handle it. She needed answers.

"Do you want to stop?" The water fell still as Korra's body tensed. She looked at Asami but said nothing. "Do you…want to pretend it didn't happen? Go back to the way it was?" Korra turned away. "Hey," Asami tugged under Korra's jaw carefully, making her look back. "Don't hide from me. You don't have to. Whatever you say, I'll understand."

Korra laughed, shaking her head. "No you won't. I don't even understand it."

"Then talk to me." Suddenly the hand on Korra's jaw had slid up to her cheek.

"I—I don't know who I am anymore." Korra's voice barely carried between them. "You touched my leg and…I've thought about it before, you touching me and I just…I couldn't get over the fact that I couldn't _feel_ you. What if…" Korra bit down on her lower lip, trying to contain her emotions. "What if I can't—"

Before Korra could finish, Asami was hugging her and Korra's arms slowly fell against her hips. Asami pulled away, though she felt it was important to maintain contact. "Do you think you can't feel anything?"

"Not sure, I feel—I mean I get…excited. I was excited but then you touched me and it was nothing and I just went numb. It just hit me that I might never be able to—"

"Korra, you're going to get better. Your bending is getting better. You're getting stronger. You can't live your life in nevers, that isn't you."

This earned a bit of a glare. "Didn't you hear me? I don't know _who_ I am anymore!" Tears started to shimmer in her eyes again. "I'm so frustrated, I just…I want to scream. I can't feel my legs, I can't move without help. I can't do anything on my own anymore. Who knows if my body will even let me be with you. I'm trapped and—" Korra looked down at her lap, hair falling into her face. "Asami somedays I just want to go to sleep and never wake up."

"You _have_ to keep fighting," Asami's voice was cracking with each word. A plea, she was begging Korra to listen to her. "You can't give up. _Please_ don't give up."

When she reached over to take Korra's hand, she pulled it away. "I won't," she wouldn't look at Asami again. "But…can we hold off on this?" Every word she spoke took longer to escape, like each one hurt worse than the previous.

Still, they couldn't have hurt Korra as much as they did Asami. "Okay, do you—do you want me to sleep on the cot?"

Another tear fell down Korra's cheek as she nodded.

It was Asami's turn to feel empty. She stood up, doing her duty to help Korra put the cup of water away and lay down for the night. Tomorrow she would get up and continue to do her duty. it's why she came along, she still loved Korra, that hadn't changed.

That love didn't stop her from getting up in the night and stumbling out into the cold so Korra wouldn't hear her cry.

Asami wished she hadn't said anything at all.


	11. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has their limits, even Asami Sato.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that in canon, Naga was with Korra the entire time, but honestly I just forgot about her, so she's showing up now and will be around throughout. 
> 
> Thank you all for the support on this, it means so so much.

Asami woke up early, before the sun early. She needed the time to get her mind right. It wasn't an easy process, but a familiar one. When she was six, her mother died and her father did his best to help her through it. Except he was suffering just as much as she was. Eventually, his ability to help his daughter stopped, and his need to distance himself from her began. Asami never understood it at the time, that she looked so much like their mother. Acted so much like her and constantly tried to bring her mother into conversations.

He couldn't handle it. He wasn't ready to openly talk about his lost wife. Asami wanted to talk about her, to remember her, but her father wasn't ready. So when he started to push her away, she stopped. She forced herself to remove the word "mother" from her vocabulary because it was a word that made her daddy sad.

That was the first time she internalized her feelings.

Now, years later, it was a skill she had mastered.

She bathed quickly, took time putting on her make up and was dressed and ready as the sun came up and Korra opened her eyes.

"Hey," she smiled down at Korra who blearily glanced at her. "You can tell we're closing in on our destination, it's getting colder."

Korra gave her a leering look, unsettled by the calmness Asami was offering her, no doubt. "Yeah," she said, rubbing her eyes. "I—are you okay?"

Asami nodded. "I'm fine, Korra. You're not ready, it's fine. I'm still going to help you."

"I'm really sorry." Korra looked away, something she was becoming far to used to doing. Korra was a person who would stand up to anyone, even giant spirits fused with her uncle. Now she could barely admit her own feelings without feeling asahmed.

"It's fine, Korra. Really. Come on, let's get you to the bathroom and cleaned up. We'll be docking in about three hours."

Korra looked at her again, nodding hesitantly as Asami helped her up.

Everything was textbook the rest of the morning. Asami did what she had done from the start. Took Korra's pants off while staring into her eyes. Turned away when Korra was on the toilet, washed Korra's hair and left the rest to her, then dressed her without batting an eye and pushed her outside in the chair to meet her family as they docked.

Once they finally arrived at the Southern Water Tribe, Asami immediately wished she'd packed more warm clothes. It was freezing cold and her Future Industries jacket was doing nothing to help. She pulled Korra's chair backwards down the ramp to the dock.

They were greeted by about a dozen Water Tribe soldiers who stood in formation, hands behind their back.

"Welcome home, Chief," one of the guards said, draping his arm across his chest. "Avatar Korra," the guard offered a long, sad look to Korra. The kind of look that Asami knew made Korra feel worthless.

Still, she placed a hand over her chest and gave a nod.

"Have you began the alterations in the palace?" Tonraq spoke, drawing the guard back to him.

The man nodded. "Yes sir, the ramps are being constructed, as you requested. We're in the process of installing some but—"

"I would like for Ms. Sato to help you with them, no better engineer in Republic City. She'll be heading up the remodel."

The guard, clearly taken back by being told he was now under the command of the girl currently hugging herself from the cold, bristled. "Sir, I can promise that we've done everything necessary to safely allow your daughter through the palace."

"If you have, then you'll make her job easy. Still, she knows Korra's needs better than you do. She'll be in charge."

He looked at Asami again but merely nodded and returned to stand with the rest of the guards. Suddenly, a loud bark sounded through the air.

Korra's head shifted towards the sound, her eyes bright. "Naga!" She cried, her body moving in the seat, almost as if she was trying to climb out of it. Asami grabbed her by the shoulder on reflex.

The polar-bear dog came bounding through the snow faster than a full speed Satomobile. For a moment, Asami thought she might have to step in front of Korra so Naga didn't topple her over (as if she'd be able to dead stop a polar-bear dog), though it seemed Tonraq had the same idea.

"Easy!" He called out and the animal skidded to a stop. Naga finally settled right in front of Korra, staring at her for a second before she reached out and put her hands on Naga's face.

Naga let out a soft whimper before moving in and nestling her head against Korra's chest. Korra start softly crying, Asami watched as Korra held onto Naga like she was afraid to let go.

Everyone waited as Korra fought to compose herself, crying and sniffling as Naga started lapping at her face. She laughed slightly, losing her hands in the fur on Naga's neck. "I missed you." Korra whispered as Naga nudged her with a wet nose.

"Come on," Senna finally said, tears in her own eyes. "I think poor Asami is going to freeze."

As they started back, Tonraq pushed Korra's chair because Asami was actually shaking.

"We're gonna have to buy you some better clothes for this weather, winter is coming soon." Tonraq said, a small smile on his face as Asami's teeth chattered.

"W—winter is…coming?" Spirits it was going to get  _colder_?

Tonraq chuckled. "You are on the South Pole."

"I packed a f—few…coats."

Korra chuckled. "You need fur, Asami." She looked up from her chair and held out her hand. Asami reached out and took it. Korra's hand was so warm, she wanted to reach with her other hand sandwich it between them. Still, she was drawn to Korra's eyes staring back at her.

"Don't worry, Asami. We'll pick you up some things to keep you warm." Senna reassured, patting Asami's shoulder.

Asami nodded, offering a smile as she continued to feel the head radiating from where Korra held her hand. It was all she could feel, she knew she should pull away, not let herself slip further. Her feelings for Korra didn't matter, helping Korra was the too important. The rest would have to wait, maybe forever.

—

After spending the better part of her first day in the palace putting up ramps, Asami was exhausted, but also enjoying the work.

It was early in the evening when she finally returned to Korra's room. Kya had been helping Korra most of the day which was a nice reprieve for Asami's wounded heart, but as she came back to the room, Korra was sitting in her chair (Naga curled up next to her on the floor, ears perking up at every passing sound) and growing visibly frustrated as she pulled at her hair.

"You okay?" Asami asked, noting that Korra had a hair tie in her mouth. Her two sides were wolf tailed and she was struggling to hold the back ponytail up long enough to put the third tie on.

"I'll get it," Korra mumbled through her closed teeth. Asami bit her lip, watching as Korra's arm started to shake. It was progress from those early days, she could hold her arm up more now, but not for this long. Pieces of hair were starting to slip out of her grip as she pulled the tie from her lips and by the time she had it in place, the hair had mostly fallen down her back again. "Ugh!" Korra groaned, throwing the hair tie meekly onto the floor. "I'll just keep it down."

Asami smiled softly. "You know, I like this look on you." She moved to pick up the hair tie and stepped behind Korra. "I remember when you came back after fighting Vaatu, you looked like some kind of epic warrior. Cut on your face, hair down, eyes telling stories no one else would ever understand." Asami scooped up Korra's hair, fitting the tie around it and running a hand through the ponytail.

"Asami…" Korra breathed as Asami tied the final wolf tail. "You don't…you don't have to do this. Pretend that everything is okay. I know you're probably furious with me."

"Korra, I'm not mad at you," Asami moved to kneel down in front of her. "I understand why you wanted to stop."

A soft laugh escaped Korra. "You do? Because I don't."

"It's a lot, Korra. You're going through so much right now. Your recovery is what's important. It's why you have a healing session with Katara today, to see what your next step is. It's why we're here, it's why Naga is lying on the floor behind you ready to attack anyone that looks at you wrong."

Korra glanced over her shoulder at her polar-bear dog, grinning a little when Naga cocked her head at her master.

"I just need time," Korra said, again not looking at Asami.

It struck her to say something grandiose, something along the lines of; I'll wait forever if I have to! She didn't, because it wasn't what mattered. Her feelings and their relationship was secondary to Korra getting her life back together. Everything was on the back burner until Korra was able to sleep through the night and move her legs on her own.

Asami could bury her feelings. She could lay awake at night and suffer through the loneliness if she had to. During the day however, she had to be the caregiver, without fail. It would be hard, but her whole life had been hard.

"Take all the time you need, Korra. I mean that. I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

The look Korra gave Asami was almost worth the pain. She seemed so grateful and so relieved, for the first time in days. Asami wanted to hug her, it had been so easy to do that before, but now putting her arms around Korra felt like too much.

So she reached out, took her hand and squeezed it.

"Am I interrupting?" They both turned to see Kya standing in the doorway, a knowing smile on her face. They hadn't told anyone that their relationship was off. Neither of them had the courage to say it out loud

Asami smiled and stood up. "Not at all, Korra's ready to go."

"You're not coming?" Korra glanced up at Asami, her eyes wide with worry.

Kya stepped behind the chair. "Sorry Korra, Katara's asked that it be just you and her after I get you into the waters."

Korra frowned, Asami fought the urge to hug her, again. She wondered how often that would happen every day. "I'm gonna work on a ramp for the back gate that goes to the water behind the palace. Thought it'd be a good place for us to sit and relax on the days the sun is out."

Kya took Korra out of the room shortly after that. It was silly, but Asami felt a tinge of jealousy at seeing anyone else push Korra around. It wasn't like this was the first time someone besides her had done it. Maybe it wasn't jealousy, maybe it was just that sinking feeling of Korra slipping away from her.

Standing alone in Korra's bedroom, Asami chewed on her bottom lip. She hadn't put makeup on today, it didn't seem necessary since she would be working through most of it. The first night here had been nice enough. Senna cooked seal steak and it was good to eat freshly smoked meat and drink crisp southern ale. Asami wasn't really a fan of alcohol, but it singed her throat just right and calmed her nerves at the prospect of sleeping in the same room as Korra.

Since everyone still thought they were together, it seemed logical that Asami and Korra share a room. They glanced at each other when Tonraq had suggested it, like they were playing a game of possum-chicken that neither of them wanted to lose. It felt silly and juvenile but they were both too stubborn and now they would be sharing a room.

Asami found herself smiling at the thought. They'd been "together" for all of four days, three of which they hardly interacted and now she felt like she was dealing with an ex-girlfriend. Korra wasn't that, Korra was just scared, maybe Asami was too.

That would be easier, if it were fear. It wasn't though, she knew it wasn't

Groaning in frustration at her sudden inner monologue, Asami exited Korra's room in search of her tools. It was easier to work, to move her hands and focus her brain on simple things. Building a ramp for Korra and being productive. It was the only way she was going to keep her mind off of the worry.

By the time Asami found her way out back she had her work belt on, her goggles atop her head and was going to measure for the ramp.

However, as she stepped closer to the gate, she could hear a loud snapping noise. It came every thirty seconds or so, but was fairly consistent. She slowed her steps to peek out and see what it was. Through the opening of the back gate, she could see Tonraq standing in the thick of the snow. There was a ice block, frozen solid and standing up at waist level. On top of that was a piece of uncut wood. Tonraq's back was shown to her, wearing a blue vest and snow pants. He was sweating, which meant he'd been working for a while and clearly didn't give a second thought to the cold.

Asami watched him raise the axe and throw it down aggressively onto a slab of wood. It split like butter and both pieces fell to the ground.

Suddenly Asami realized where Korra's amazing back muscles came from.

For a moment, she considered turning around and leaving him be, but Korra needed a ramp out here. More than that, Asami needed to be doing  _something._

"Hope you don't mind a little company." She smiled as Tonraq turned to her voice. He carried another piece of wood and laid it atop his cutting block.

"Not at all," He returned her smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Do you need help with anything?"

"No, I'm just going to measure and then start sawing some wood for Korra's ramp. I thought this would be a nice place to sit and relax. The water has always been a comfort to her."

Tonraq nodded, his grip tensing on the wood he was holding. "When she was younger I would take her to this pond just beyond our village. There were other ponds that were closer, but Korra and I went to this one once, that was…probably ten miles out and when we got there we came across a little otter-penguin that was stuck in the snow. Couldn't have been more than a few days old. Korra demanded we free it, so of course we did. Problem was, the rest of it's family was nowhere to be seen. Naturally Korra wanted to keep it." Tonraq chuckled, though he was a bit out of her sight, Asami swore there were tears in his eyes. "We couldn't, so…" he cleared his throat. "So I told her that otter-penguins could always find their family in the water, because their parents could send pulses through the pond and draw them in. She was four, so of course she believed me. We played with the pup for a while, Korra held it and laughed when it tried to get away from her. Finally I told her we had to go home and she handed me the pup, I told her to get started and I'd catch up. I—I just…wanted her to go so that I could put the pup in the water to drown. Because it was alone, and out here…things like that happen. It's the natural selection of life." He laughed, almost bitterly. "For the next six months Korra would drag Senna and I down here to look for that otter-penguin pup. To make sure it found it's way home." He spun the axe in his hand, settled the wood on the block and hoisted it up. "It never did." The force with which he cut the wood sent it's pieces flying to either side. Asami gasped a bit but didn't jump, she was too busy reeling from the sight of Korra's powerful father in such a shaken state.

"Did you ever tell her?"

He chuckled. "No, considered it for a while, but the only reason we stopped coming here is because we found out she was the Avatar and everything changed after that."

Asami put her measuring tape away and moved to a stool that a few feet from the gate. She sat down, elbows on her knees and watched Tonraq move to pick up the wood he'd cut.

"You know, you were probably right to let the pup drown. It would have died a lot slower without it's family." Asami was no expert on things like this, but she felt like she had to say something. He was clearly carrying around more than just that day. She had a fairly good idea of what it was.

Tonraq shrugged. "I suppose. I look at Korra now and think of how determined she is to save everyone. I wonder if I could have done more. If…she would have done more, found a way." He backed up and sat down on his cutting block. "I understood a long time ago that my daughter is a stronger person than I am. I—I would do anything for her, give anything but—" he cleared his throat again. "On that mountain against that man, when she needed me the most…I failed her."

Asami suddenly felt like she was somewhere she shouldn't be. Like she wasn't important enough to be a part of this conversation, but she was the only one here and she certainly couldn't run away.

That didn't mean she was equipped to handle it.

She found her voice. "What Korra did was incredibly brave," he glanced up at her, ready to speak, but she drove forward. "That doesn't mean I like it, but she felt it was what she had to do."

"Nobody should have to do that, to…offer their life to people like that. People who—" He bit back a sob and Asami suddenly felt extremely out of her depth. Like the first time she saw her own father cry, how scary that had been. Still, Tonraq seemed to regain himself enough to continue. "When we brought Korra back that night to your airship, the entire flight home we tended to her wounds and…there were so many."

Asami remembered, Korra's body was a wreck. "Her back was in pretty bad shape, I mean…it still is, but the superficial wounds were bad at first."

He nodded slowly, still looking away. "I remember her feet," his voice was suddenly very low. "I remember Kya and her mother sitting at the foot of her bed and picking rocks out of her feet." His brow set and his fist started to clench atop his knee. "I sat there…watching them pick rocks from her feet, they were bleeding and cut up and all I could think about was that…she had her boots on when they took her."

Asami felt her body go numb, a wave of suppressed and quieted thoughts returning all at once. Ones she hadn't considered since that day.

"I remember," Asami said, watching him nod absentmindedly.

"I  _sat there_  and I…I ignored it, because she was hurt and I needed to be there. I was with her that entire night, then the next morning when you and Kya helped her I just…I had to step outside because I couldn't stop thinking about it." A tear slipped from his eye and Asami felt her own coming. "They took her into that cave, laid her down on the ground and…they took her shoes off, her armbands…the fur around her  _waist_. All of it was gone. They put their hands on my daughter, they took her clothes off. I don't care if it was just shoes and armbands they touched my _little girl!_ " He stood up in a rush, axe in hand, chest rising and falling quickly

However, Asami wasn't afraid, she was relieved. She hadn't been the only one to lay awake at night thinking about this. "Prison isn't enough," Asami said finally, drawing Tonraq to look at her.

"Nothing will  _ever_  be enough." He growled. "Nothing will ever take away what they did. How they threw me off that cliff and took her into that cave and tormented her. They—" he started pacing, as if weeks of anger and frustration was starting to boil over. Asami gripped the edges of the stool she sat in. "I couldn't protect her. I was her last line of defense on that mountain and I couldn't protect her! What kind of a father am I? To let my daughter hand herself over to people like that?"

"Tonraq," Asami finally found her voice, her courage, and stood up. "You didn't fail Korra. The world did." He set his gaze on her, unconvinced. "What is right about a world where a seventeen year old, barely starting her life, is asked to carry the weight that Korra does? That…the very balance of our world can break into war if the Avatar is gone for a hundred years. We're so reliant on the Avatar, on Korra, to fix our world, that she's been taught to believe that sacrificing herself is okay because if she doesn't millions will suffer." Carefully, Asami reached out and placed hand on Tonraq's shoulder. "But that's now why Korra gave herself over. She did that  _because_  of you." His expression softened just a bit. "You and Senna have raised the most selfless and courageous person that I have ever met. Understand me when I say that I want Zaheer to die. I make no secret about it. I have thought, many nights, about everything you said. But we can't change that now. It's okay to come out here and take your frustrations out on pieces of wood and screaming into the sky. Just remember that Korra is still here, a little bit broken, but she was strong enough and brave enough to survive, that's because of you."

The axe fell from his hand and landed in the snow below them. Asami found her smile as he nodded, taking slower breaths to calm himself. "You are a very wise woman, Asami. I—I'm not sure how you deal with all of this."

The way he spoke and looked at her hit something deep inside of her. An intense sadness settled over Asami, threatening to drown her. "I've spent a lot of my life being mad at the world."

just as she let go of his shoulder, Asami found herself being wrapped into a very engulfing embrace. She was shocked for all of three seconds before she felt his hand on the back of her head and it all fell apart.

She wasn't sure how long she cried, all she knew is that Tonraq held her through it. Telling her of how strong she was, how brave she was, and how proud everyone was of her.

Everything hit her, thoughts of Korra and their fragile relationship. How much she loved her and how scared she was of being left behind. She thought of her father, how easily he turned his back on her, how callously he looked at her when he was prepared to take her life. She thought of her mother, the beautiful woman who was her whole world as a child, taken away and nothing had been the same since.

Asami sunk to her knees in the snow, Tonraq still holding her and running his hand up and down her back

She'd spent so much of her life giving to everyone around her, that Asami suddenly felt like she had nothing left of herself.


	12. Little Soldier Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their first month in the Southern Water Tribe passes, Korra and Asami find themselves in a unique situation.

_Thanks for writing me back! I was so excited to get a letter from you! You can tell from the picture I sent with the letter, documenting my excited reaction. I put Pabu in there too, he wasn't quite as excited as me, but still a little excited, which is more than most people get from him._

_I'm glad you guys are doing well, though I'm sorry it's so hard on Korra. She's lucky you're there with her. I wish I could have come but I'm also happy I stayed because I get to write you letters and draw you pictures. Plus Opal is fun to hang out with and we're getting really close._

_I don't see much of Mako anymore, he's always busy. I don't think he knows what to do with himself now that you guys are gone. I know he writes, but I've seen his letters and sheesh! Those things are BORING._

_Anyways, enjoy the drawings, I made some for Korra too. Please tell her to write me back, I'd love to hear from her. I miss you both._

_Your dearest and closest male companion, Bolin_

Asami smiled, scanning the stick figure drawings of Bolin's reaction to her letter. They made her smile in their simplicity, feeling joyful that Bolin even took the time to make them.

She carefully folded it all away and put the letters in a drawer. Korra would be with Katara for the next two hours, as she had every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the last month. It was nice though, Korra having a schedule and doing something. It kept her active.

Still, it left Asami with plenty of time on her hands during the sessions and with only one letter from Bolin and Mako's news and weather report, Asami was officially bored.

Swinging her legs off Korra's bed, she decided to see what Korra's parents were up to. It didn't matter which. Asami was really becoming attached to the both of them. Senna was so warm and welcoming, like a hot cup of tea, she just had a calming effect in every room she entered.

Tonraq was engaging, so fun to talk to and share stories with. He loved hearing about the fights with the Equalists and all the things Asami had built and was planning to build. None of them knew about her leaving Future Industries. She was still earning money from the company, she'd agreed to remove herself as CEO. Her creative control was gone, but money would never be an issue.

Asami had a plan for when all this was settled down. When Korra was better she would sell her stock in Future Industries and start her own company. Having brought her father's company back from the pit of despair he'd put it in, Asami was confident that she could ground level a company of her own all the same.

That was a ways off though, or so it seemed some days. Life with Korra came first, and if Asami were telling the truth, a simple life in this place was almost as enticing as going back into the business world.

By the time Asami found Senna, she was in the kitchen rolling dough with her hands. Asami smiled, Senna had the entire palace staff, complete with chefs, who could cook for her, and yet here she was hand-making dumplings.

"Hi," Asami announced herself, standing by the counter where Senna worked.

The bright smile that she received made Asami's heart swell. "Hey, thought you'd be taking a nap with Korra gone. I know you two didn't sleep last night."

Asami blushed. It was true, Korra had a nightmare and they ended up going for a walk around the palace, but Asami hoped that Senna didn't assume they'd done anything romantic.

"Oh…no I mean—Korra had a bad dream and she wanted to see the sky so I took her outside. Nearly froze to death but it calmed her down."

This made Senna frown. "I wish those nightmares would stop, I kinda worry they'll always be around though." Asami could only nod, she had no doubts about that. "I hope you like dumplings." Senna said, changing the subject with a smile.

"I've spent more than a day with your daughter, I'm pretty sure she's  _half_  dumpling."

Senna chuckled. "Good point, though that city stuff can't compare to these homemade ones though. Even when she was little Korra could put away food like nobody I'd ever seen since her father."

Asami felt her good mood fade a bit. "My dad was always a big eater. Loved his cow-hippo bacon." Her mind suddenly seemed to flash to her own kitchen years ago. "My mom used to wake up to the smell of it. He'd cook it before the rest of us were awake and she'd give him a hard time because it wasn't good for him. He'd…wink at her and laugh and that would always make her smile."

"What was she like?" Senna asked, bringing Asami back to the here and now. Something about the way she asked erased the usual pain that question carried. It removed the idea that Asami had to answer with the same platitudes of " _she was really great_ " or " _she was really beautiful_ ". It was unfamiliar, but Asami found herself smiling again.

"I wouldn't be who I am today without her." Asami laughed to herself. "I remember when I was five…my mom bought me this really pretty, and I'm sure very expensive, dress that I had seen in a store once. The day I wore it my dad took me to his work for the very first time. I was so excited. Future Industries was really starting to grow and everyone there was so nice to me and complimented my dress and the bow in my hair. Then my dad took me to his garage and showed me around. I was so…enamored with it all. Seeing them build these amazing machines from almost nothing and how one thing would operate another, all working in tandem to create glorious machine. I just…I fell in love with it. Then my dad asked me if I wanted to tinker around with some stuff, he wanted to show me a few things about how engines worked and I agreed right away." She hadn't noticed at the time, but at some point Senna had stopped preparing dumplings and was watching her. "We worked for hours and when it was done…my new dress was a mess. Covered in grease, I felt so bad, like I had disappointed my mom by getting the dress dirty and not taking care of it. Mom was always so perfect, she always looked beautiful and I really thought she was going to be upset with me. When we got home, she saw me and I just started crying. I felt so bad and I remember she rushed over to me and hugged me, grease getting on her clothes and I just stared at her and asked her why she wasn't mad at me." Asami stopped for a moment, the combination of a sob and a laugh catching in her throat that she forced down. Senna had begun absentmindedly running a hand up and down her arm. "I told her all of this and she just laughed and took the bow out of my hair and asked me if I had fun. I told her, yes, I really did and she told me that was all that mattered."

When Senna reached up to brush a tear from Asami's cheek, she laughed at herself a bit and shook her head.

"She sounds wonderful."

Asami looked up at Senna's warm eyes and felt like she was six years old again. "She always told me how smart I was and how…I could do anything I wanted. When I told her I wanted to work with my dad every day and do what he did, she was so supportive of me. I don't know if I've ever gotten over her death but…I do my work, what I love and I strive to be happy and overcome everything because I feel like no matter how much dirt I get on me, she'll always support me."

They remained quiet for a moment, Senna watching over Asami as she brushed at her eyes and thought about her mother. It was nice, to cry like this with her heart happy. To think of her mom and not feel the need to paint it as a tragedy. Yasuko Sato died years ago, but she also lived, and that mattered so much more.

"Did your mother ever teach you how to cook?"

Asami chuckled, shaking her head. "No, unfortunately the Sato girls were never good at that. My father did most of the cooking before we hired people to do it for us."

"Well, I'm going to teach you how to make these dumplings and I promise you, if Korra is anything like her father, she'll love you forever if you make them for her once a week."

She wasn't about to tell Senna about the troubles of she and Korra's failed romance. Instead, she went along with the lesson and hoped that maybe one day she could make these for Korra when their lives were a little more forgiving.

—

Korra was exhausted.

It had been one month since they'd arrived in the South and three days out of the week Korra would visit Katara for healing sessions. Asami wasn't too sure what those sessions entailed, but each time it left Korra physically drained. From what she'd talked about with Kya, it wasn't more than Korra sitting in the waters and Katara using them heal her body from the damage. Still, that was clearly an endeavor because each night Korra returned from a session, she barely had the strength to speak.

Tonight was no different, when Kya rolled her in, Korra's eyes were barely open, her breathing slow and labored. Asami was genuinely concerned.

"Is she okay?"

Kya smiled sadly. "She is. We didn't do the pool today, Katara had her moving her arms, she needs to build her strength back, it will go a long way towards her gaining more independence."

"I'm sitting right here," Korra murmured, opening one eye to stare up at Kya. "That sweet demeanor of Katara's is a front, she's a dictator."

Asami felt a laugh bubbling up in her throat, she bit it back and saw Kya grin. "You'll be thinking even less of her tomorrow." Korra groaned. "I'll leave you both to it then." Kya patted Korra's shoulder softly, offering them both a goodnight before retreating from the room.

Though it had painfully awkward for a while, Asami had found a way to bury her feelings for Korra well enough to do what she needed to. It wasn't easy, and the feelings certainly hadn't disappeared. That was next to impossible, because even though Korra asked for this, when her nightmares came, she called for Asami's comfort in the middle of the night.

Of course, Asami was a sucker and couldn't say no when Korra woke up a panting, terrified mess and pleaded for cuddles. In fact, Asami was all too quick to accept. It felt wrong, in a way, like perhaps she was taking advantage of Korra's neediness in those dark nights when the fear was too much. Still, she couldn't exactly say no and leave Korra be. So at least once a week, sometimes more, Asami found herself falling asleep with Korra in her arms.

To her credit, Korra was improving, if only in small steps. Her grip was stronger, good enough to brush her own teeth and hold her own fork throughout dinner. It wasn't much, certainly not enough to make Korra feel better, but it was something. Which counted for a lot compared to the previous two months.

Asami knelt down in front of Korra's chair and unbuckled the seatbelt she'd installed a few weeks ago after the chair hit the lip of a ramp and Korra nearly fell out. If not for the fast reaction of Asami holding her in, Korra would have ended up on the ground.

Glancing up, Korra was staring at her, a lip between her teeth, her eyes heavy. "You okay?" Asami asked, picking up Korra's legs to fold the leg rests one at a time.

One side of her mouth curled upward and Asami felt her stomach doing flips. "Today was a good day,"

"Really?"

Korra nodded. "It's…such small work. I honestly just held my arms in front of myself and Katara put a little pressure on them to see how long I could hold them up, but…I feel it, you know?" Asami nodded, wanting Korra to keep talking and smiling, all of it. "There's a burn in my shoulders and I know I'm going to be sore tomorrow and it's just—" Korra let the sentence hang.

"Familiar?"

Her smile grew just a bit, Asami wanted to kiss her. "It's something." She then glanced down at her legs, Asami's hands moving them back together between the now folded leg rests. "I just wish these things would figure it out." Her voice wasn't upset, not like usual when she looked at her lifeless lower body. Still, the reminder was always there and it always pulled her back down. "Katara isn't sure why they're like this. My back is healing, the nerves in my body are starting to fire again, not a lot but I can certainly bend my fingers better. My legs though are just…stalled out."

Unable to control herself, Asami reached up and gently pulled the wolf tails out of Korra's hair. With each tie she removed, her hands were dangerously close to Korra's face.

It went unspoken between them, but moments like this happened far too often in the last month. Asami was always in such close proximity to Korra here. She was her caregiver, nobody else asked anymore if she needed help. If she did, Asami would seek it out, otherwise, this was her place and Korra never told her to stop. Even at their worst, right after the breakup (which felt ridiculous to call it that given they were together for all of four days), when things were most awkward, Asami was the one bathing Korra and changing her clothes.

So when Asami stood up and scooped Korra into her arms to carry to bed, it felt as natural as ever.

Except there was something unique in Korra's eyes tonight. Perhaps it was the exhaustion settling in, or the relief finally seeing progress after two months of almost nothing.

Asami wasn't sure, but something was different in the way Korra looked at her.

"You want to take a bath?" She asked, already removing Korra's pants. She received a quiet nod in response as Korra continued to stare at her.

Once the pants were removed, Asami sat Korra up and took her black, sleeveless shirt off and threw it onto the pile on the floor.

The air had shifted somehow, like a thick fog was settling over the both of them, hiding them from the rest of the world. Korra was still staring at her and Asami swallowed thickly before reaching out to undo Korra's ponytail in the back. She let the hair free and couldn't stop her hand from tracing through it.

Eventually the task at hand returned to her and Asami again pulled Korra into her arms. She kicked the chair out of the way and let it roll against the wall before sidestepping into the bathroom and setting Korra on the edge of the tub, her feet resting in the water.

Korra's upper body was strong enough to hold her up now, so long as she was sitting on something solid. The edge of the tub in this room was more than enough.

With her hand still pressed on the skin of Korra's back, Asami reached over and turned the water on. It poured loudly, the temperature hot and already billowing steam through the chilly air of the palace.

As she moved away from the faucet, Korra's hand found it's way onto her cheek and Asami froze. Her eyes fell shut and she let out a slow breath through her nose.

"Korra," Asami warned weakly, opening her eyes to see Korra watching her. There was something in the Avatar's eyes she'd never seen before. "What are you doing?"

A flicker of guilt flashed in the blue that looked back at her. Asami's resolve was crumbling with every passing second. "I—I don't know. I just…you're still here. Why are you still here?"

Asami sighed, reaching up and removing Korra's hand from her face. Still, when she sat down next to her, she didn't let that hand go. "I'm not answering that question, Korra. You know why I'm here."

"I just—" Korra shook her head and finally looked away. "I wish I wasn't so helpless right now."

"You're not," That earned her a look, Asami narrowed her eyes. "You can stare at me like that all you want, you're not helpless, but that feeling is why you and I can't be together right now."

Korra's face softened, she seemed to understand. "I didn't mean to hurt you and...I know I did."

"You didn't—"

"Sami,  _stop._  I know I did. I heard you leave that night on the boat, I could hear you start to cry before you even made it to the upper deck."

Asami smiled softly. "You didn't hurt me Korra, the world did. It hurt me because we're not ready. This is what you need, you need me here to put you in the bath and to take care of you and I want to be here, don't ever doubt that I want to be here. Because I do, there's no place I'd rather be." Asami stood up from the tub and turned the water off, she tested it with her hand a few times, before picking Korra up and carefully placing her in it.

As she started to stand up from her slumped over position above the tub, Korra gently touched her wrist.

She was at eye level with Korra now, her free hand reaching out to brush away Korra's hair from her eye. It was too intimate, just like always, but they had kissed, they had shared their feelings. There was no real going back, they could pretend for a while, but they'd jumped off the cliff weeks ago.

"Will you…sit with me?" Korra asked, her voice shaky. "I want to give you something."

Asami pulled back, a smile on her face as she carefully kicked her boots off, pushing them into the corner of the bathroom. She reached down and rolled the legs of her pants up her calves before stepping into the water and sitting down beside Korra. Both of them seeming to forget that Korra was undressed, Asami could only focus on her eyes.

"What is it?" It was so hard not to lose herself in Korra. The way she looked at Asami sometimes seemed impossible, like nobody else would ever look at her the way Korra did. It was both terrifying and addicting.

A shy smile played on Korra's lips, her head looking down, hair falling into her face. Asami fought the urge to reach out and push it away so she could see those eyes again. Instead, she sat and waited as Korra pursed her lips and took a long, deep breath.

"I—I told you that…you were the only person I would ever sing for." Asami felt her breath hitch. "I want to. If you're still interested."

Her smile nearly grew wide. "I would  _love_  that."

Korra nodded, still trying to steady her confidence. She took a few breaths and closed her eyes before laying her hand open on the the space between them on the tub.

Asami stared at her hand for a moment before realizing what Korra wanted, she then dropped her hand onto Korra's, their fingers lacing together.

"Don't laugh," Korra whispered, a small smile on her face.

Asami rolled her eyes. "I would  _never_."

Swallowing her fear, Korra began.

" _Leaves from the vine_

_Falling so slow_

_Like fragile tiny shells_

_Drifting in the foam_

_Little soldier boy_

_Come marching home_

_Brave soldier boy_

_Comes marching home_

_Those leaves did fall_

_From branches overgrown_

_Drifting slowly down_

_Resting on the loam_

_Little soldier boy_

_Taken from home_

_Forced to fight a war_

_That is not his own_

_Leaves from the vine_

_Falling so slow_

_Like fragile tiny shells_

_Drifting in the foam._ "

Her voice was so soft and so wonderful as she sang. Her eyes closed, her hand squeezing Asami's through certain pitch changes. There was a calm in her features, the lines of pain from the last two month drifting away. Asami lost herself in the words, in the sound and the presence of the girl next to her. For a moment, she could pretend they were the only two people in the world, and everything was perfect.

" _Little soldier boy says_

_'Carry me home'_

_Sleeping soldier boy_

_Is carried home._ "

When Korra's eyes opened again, she slowly turned to look at Asami. The smile that broke out on Korra's face was indicative of the fact that Asami was, in fact, crying. She sniffled, wiping at her cheeks and let out a soft laugh.

"Spirits, Korra. You're so  _beautiful_." Korra's grip on her hand tensed and Asami realized what she said. A retraction was on her lips, 'your voice is beautiful', but that seemed inadequate. Like calling the lights that danced in the sky at night 'pretty'. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

"I still want to be with you, Asami." Korra whispered, staring at her legs, unaffected by the warm water. "If you give me time…I'll try and be—" she sighed, shaking her head. "I'll get better and I'll sing for you every night, if you want me to."

Asami smiled, leaning in and gently touching her lips to Korra's. It was a chaste kiss, no more than a few seconds, when she pulled away, she noted the red in Korra's cheeks.

"I'll wait for you."


	13. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Senna's heart hurts, Korra's mind hurts and Asami's foot hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, again, to apnsb for the help with this chapter. I swear you are like my other half with this stuff.

"Let me _go_!"

The sound of Korra's screaming voice had Asami's legs moving off the bed before her mind could even register her surroundings. So when she ran to Korra's bed, she caught her toe against a wooden chest on the floor and immediately felt the skin split open and burn in pain.

She ignored it as best she could, making her way to Korra's bed and turning on the light beside her. "Korra!" she called, putting her hand on the shaking shoulders of the Avatar. "Korra, wake up!"

With a jolt, Korra's eyes shot open in a panic. They were so bright and blue, darting around the room in fear. She pulled her arms to herself, looking at them and rolling them over, as if she were looking for wounds of some kind.

Chains, Asami thought, and she felt a wave of anger wash over her. She pushed it away, focusing on Korra and how she could help. Her breaths were coming out in short, sporadic bursts. Asami wondered if she was having another attack.

"Hey," she said softly, reaching down to touch Korra's face. She was relieved when her eyes found Asami's face. "You're okay, it was just a bad dream."

Korra shook her head. "Can't…breathe…" she winced, tears rolling down the side of her face as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Come on." Asami slid a hand under Korra's back. "Let's sit you up."

Once Korra was sitting, she nestled into Asami's chest a bit and still struggled to calm her breathing. The pain in Asami's toe started coming back.

"What happened?" Tonraq's voice boomed through the door. Asami turned to see him and Senna coming in.

"Nightmare, I think she's—"

" _No_!" Korra screamed, making Asami jump. When she saw Senna's eyes go wide with horror, Asami felt Korra pushing away from her. "No! You're not _real_! Leave me _alone_!" Korra's voice broke under the pressure of her shouting. Asami stumbled off the bed slightly, her toe stinging as she caught herself. She noticed Korra staring right at her mother, and the look she gave her was terrifying.

"Sweetheart," Senna sobbed, reaching out. As she did, Korra pushed back with her hands as best she could, sliding away from her. However, she was too close to the edge and her hand slipped, sending her toppling off the bed and onto the floor.

" _Korra_!" Asami was around the bed in no time, kneeling next to Korra, who was on the ground in a ball and shaking. Asami peeked over the bed and saw Senna covering her mouth, tears pouring down her cheeks as she backed out of the room.

Tonraq watched her leave, then looked back to Asami, clearly torn about which way he should go.

Finally, Asami gestured to the door and returned her focus to Korra. The message must have went across, because Tonraq went after his wife.

"Okay," Asami cooed gently. "Korra, are you okay? Are you hurt?" She knew Korra wouldn't answer, so she carefully rolled her over and began checking for injuries. Korra was sobbing at this point, but Asami took it as a good sign, because at least she was still with her. Still, it was scary, the way she looked at Senna. Asami couldn't imagine how that felt.

"She's not real," Korra whispered as another sob rocked through her. Instinctively, Asami began to run her fingers through Korra's hair, hoping it might calm her down. "She's not real."

"Who, Korra? Who's not real?"

Again, Korra's eyes found her, and Asami put on her best smile, despite the fact that her toe was on fire. She'd done something to it, and was pretty sure she'd bled all over the floor. When it was clear that Korra wasn't going to answer her, Asami stood up and readied herself to put Korra back on the bed.

Picking Korra up from this far down on the ground was tough. Her back strained, but she managed to pull her up. Korra's grabbed onto the collar of her shirt and clung to her. After the first step, Asami's injured toe sizzled with pain, and she nearly fell over.

She managed to put Korra back into the bed before picking up her sore foot and hopping back a few steps. Reaching down, she touched the tender area, and felt warm blood against her palm. The pain started to set in, shooting up her calf and up the back of her leg.

Asami must have let out a whimper because the next time she looked at Korra, blue eyes stared back at her.

"You're hurt," Korra said, her bottom lip quivering a bit.

"Korra," Asami said with a soft laugh. "I'm okay."

The cloudiness in Korra's expression seemed to fade as she looked around the room, as if remembering where she was. Her head turned to the door and then back to Asami. "My…my _mom_."

Asami could only nod. "You were pretty out of it, Korra. I don't know what you saw, or…thought you saw."

The fear returned; Korra seemed to be fighting it. "It was me."

Asami furrowed her brow. She sat on the bed and began to pick her foot up, though she never took her eyes off of Korra.

"I saw…myself…but it wasn't me. It was…my eyes were glowing, and there were chains." Korra closed her eyes and shook her head. "I can't…it's not real. It's not real." She repeated this a few more times, and Asami reached down to touch her cheek, drawing her eyes open again. Korra stared at her for a moment before her eyes shifted to Asami's foot. "You're hurt."

"I'm okay."

"You're _bleeding,_ Asami."

When she finally looked at her own foot, Asami winced. It was true; she had split the nail completely in half. Her toe wouldn't bed at all. It was probably broken. The thought made her want to laugh. Broken, how fitting.

They were all so _broken._

"You should have Kya heal that."

They both turned to see Katara standing in the doorway. She looked as tired as Asami felt.

"Tonraq came to get me. Said things were getting a little crazy in here." Katara glanced at Korra, who looked like she was about to break down again. "Are you all right?" she asked, her smile steady. Korra shook her head, looking so young and fragile that it broke Asami's heart.

Katara turned to Asami. "Please dear, go have Kya look at your foot. She's outside with Senna and Tonraq. I need a moment with Korra anyway."

Asami trusted Katara. In lot of ways, she trusted her more than she trusted anyone else. Katara had loved the Avatar just as Asami did now. So when the older woman drew in closer, Asami stood up, pressing a kiss to one of Korra's closed eyes. "I'll be right outside."

Walking proved difficult with her bad toe, but Asami made it into the hallway of the palace and sought out the rest of Korra's family. However, on one particular step she caught her toe on the ground and stumbled into the wall in pain.

"Whoa." She felt someone rush to her side and saw Kya before she wrapped her arms around Asami to hold her up. "What'd you do?"

"Kicked something on the ground when Korra started screaming. I think it's broken." Kya guided her down the hall, glancing at her foot.

"The nail certainly is lost. I can heal the cuts, but we'll have to remove the nail."

Asami winced. Removing the nail sounded horrible, but she trusted Kya's opinion.

As they reached the room where Tonraq and Senna were, Asami saw Korra's mother sitting in a chair. Her husband was kneeling down in front of her.

They both turned when she came in. "Asami." Senna tried to stand up, but her legs were shaky. "Are you okay?"

Asami felt her love for Korra's mother grow in leaps and bounds in that moment. After everything, Senna was worried about her. "I'm okay."

"She'll be fine. Caught her foot on one of those wooden chests Korra keeps her stuff in," Kya said, guiding Asami to a chair to sit in.

"Is Korra okay?" Tonraq asked, his eyes laced with worry.

"She was more aware when I left. Katara is talking to her. I don't think—" Asami turned to Senna, who seemed like she was about to shatter. "She didn't know it was you."

"Oh, I know she didn't." Senna shook her head, staring at the floor. "She…didn't see me. Not the way she was looking at me. She thought she saw a _monster._ I've never seen that look in her eyes before."

"It's not your fault, Senna," Tonraq soothed, stroking his wife's arm up and down.

Her gaze turned to him. " _Isn't it_? I'm her mother! I'm supposed to protect her from monsters and I couldn't even comfort her because she thought I was one!" Tonraq pursed his lips, clearly terrified of where she was going. "What did they do to my little girl's _mind?"_

"Nothing that can't be mended," Katara spoke from the doorway. Asami saw her looking at them all fondly, her eyes set on Senna as she stepped into the room. "Korra has suffered a great amount of pain. Both physically and mentally, but she can overcome it. She just needs time and support."

"How am I supposed to support her when she's afraid of me?"

Katara smiled. "She doesn't seem too afraid now. She sent me here to find you."

"Really?" Senna's eyes lit up.

Katara nodded. "Yes. Korra was not afraid of you. She visualized you as a demon she's battling. There's a lot going on in Korra's head. More than we could understand or will ever understand. Aang was the same way; he carried many fears throughout his life from the trauma he endured. Lightning, for example, always scared him after he was struck down."

"Lightning." Asami felt herself smiling. Katara looked over at her. "Korra—she's afraid of lightning too. She thought it might be from Aang."

The smile on Katara's face grew, shifted even. Like she was feeling a presence nobody else could. Even the smallest memory of the man she loved was a comfort.

"You have to push past all this." Katara had returned her focus to Senna, though it felt like she was speaking to all of them. "Be there for her; help her through. And when she's ready, she'll face her demons and start to truly heal."

Senna rose up from her seat. She was still shaky, but was beginning to calm. "I should go see her." Katara nodded, and soon enough Senna left the room.

As she did, Asami felt a flash of pain on her foot so sharp it made her cry out. " _Spirits_!" she grimaced, and bit down on her hand. Looking down, she saw Kya moving water around her big toe, the nail now completely removed.

"Tonraq, would you mind leading me back to my home?" Katara asked, a smile on her face. Asami found a bit of calm in her demeanor and it settled her. "I think your daughter will be fine."

"Of course." Tonraq stood back up, clearly still shook up. Asami admired how much Korra's parents loved her, as if they physically felt all of her pain right along with her. If Asami were being honest, she didn't just love Korra, but her entire family.

Asami laid her head back against the wall behind her once Tonraq and Katara were gone. She swallowed the thick lump in her throat and closed her eyes as Kya continued to heal her foot.

"You okay?" Kya asked, and Asami looked down to see a pair of blue eyes looking up at her.

She sighed. "No," Asami laughed mirthlessly. "I—I keep thinking we're getting better, that she's getting better…then it just falls apart again."

"My mom's right," Kya said, moving from the floor towards a cabinet in the corner. Asami watched her open it up and pull out a roll of bandages. "She always is. It's just going to take time. Korra will probably never be past it completely." Kya knelt back down again and retook Asami's foot to bandage. "Doesn't mean she won't be better and stronger because of it."

Asami felt her smile return, a wave of exhaustion washing over her. She didn't even know what time it was. "I know she will. It's just hard to see her like this."

Kya nodded in agreement, but neither of them could find anything else to say. Once Asami's foot was bandaged up Kya had her walk around a bit. The pain was mostly gone, so long as she didn't put too much pressure on the toe. She had a slight limp, but nothing she couldn't handle. She hoped it wouldn't make carrying Korra a problem.

She wasn't sure how long she waited. At one point she'd peeked into Korra's room to find her wrapped in Senna's arms. They seemed to be mending whatever had happened between them, so Asami let them be and made a lap around the palace. She didn't stop moving, testing her foot and what pressures she felt pain on. It hurt, no doubt, but she could manage. That's what Asami Sato did, managed pain.

By the time she came back around to Korra's room, Senna was gone and Korra was sitting up and staring at the sky out the window.

"Hey you," Asami called, drawing Korra's gaze and a soft smile. "Everything okay? You didn't hurt yourself when you fell, did you?"

Korra shook her head. "Just my pride," she joked, though Asami was fairly certain there was a lot of truth behind it. "Want to sit?" Korra asked, patting the bed next to her. Asami smiled and sat down, carefully lifting her bad foot up and trying to slide it under the blanket so Korra wouldn't see. "You're hurt."

Asami chuckled. "You're way too observant."

"Only with you." Korra said these things so casually sometimes that Asami wondered if she knew how much they made her heart sing. "Let me see," Korra said, already pushing the blankets away.

"It's nothing," Asami protested, but didn't fight, pulling her foot up for Korra to see. "Kya healed it all up."

Korra's frown was set in deep, though. She reached out as if she were going to touch the injury, but stopped herself. "You bled all over the floor," Korra said, looking up at Asami again. "That's not nothing."

For a moment Asami thought about saying something, but it seemed futile. She had hurt herself, but it felt so irrelevant, and she didn't feel like dragging out an argument that neither of them needed to win. Instead, she reached out and pulled Korra into her arms.

"You didn't answer my question," Asami reminded, as Korra practically fell into her embrace.

"I'm okay, just…tired."

Asami nodded; she was exhausted. "We could try and sleep again if you—"

"No," Korra shook her head. "No, not…not like that. I'm _tired_ Asami, of all of this. I'm so tired of being screwed up."

"You're not screwed up, Korra."

"No?" Korra's voice raised a little. "Asami, I didn't recognize my own _mother_! I thought she was—" Korra bit back her words and sighed.

It was now or never; Asami knew she had to push. "Thought she was what?"

There was no answer for a while. Asami reached over and put out the light in the room. Darkness was helpful with things like this; emptying out your emotions. Asami hoped it would help.

A few moments later, it did. "I keep seeing myself or…visions of myself, but I'm not me. I'm…who I was that day. Chains on my arms; my eyes are glowing. I can't stop thinking about it."

"That's what you saw with your mom?"

"Yeah." Korra sighed, squeezing her arms around Asami a little tighter. "I just saw the white of her eyes and freaked out. Asami, I'm scared all the time." Korra's voice broke a bit at the admission, but she managed to keep going. "I go to bed every single night thinking they're going to come back for me. Take me away and hurt me, break me…kill me. And what could I do? I can't defend myself. I can't protect my parents, my friends, you. I can't do anything to stop it."

Asami listened to every word she said, her own anger and frustration and fear settling in. She couldn't begin to understand Korra's fear. She was certain the Red Lotus were locked away. Most of them were dead now. Still, they may have more numbers. Zaheer was still alive, which drove Asami crazy. What if he broke free again?

I'd kill him myself, Asami thought, knowing she was capable of doing just that.

"What can I do to help?" Asami asked, ready to offer Korra the world if she asked for it.

She felt the Avatar tense against her. "It's silly."

Asami smiled. "Try me."

"It's just…the only time I sleep really well is when…" Korra let out a strained sigh. "When you're sleeping next to me."

Asami thought she might cry. She just wanted to pull Korra up and kiss her. Instead she buried the urge and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Korra pulled away a bit. Through the darkness Asami knew Korra was looking at her. "It's like…when you're next to me I don't think about the pain or the Red Lotus or…any of it. All I think about is you." Suddenly Asami's heart was racing. She could feel her hand starting to twitch, ready to find its way into Korra's hair and pull her in for a kiss. Then Korra looked away. "It's so selfish." She laughed sardonically. "I push you away and then tell you how much I need you so I can sleep through the night. I—I don't want to keep doing this to you. It's why I didn't say anything sooner. I can't—" She let Asami go. "I can't take advantage of your feelings because I'm needy."

"Hey." Asami wasn't having any of it. She reached out and cradled Korra's face in her hands. "I told you months ago, I _love_ you." Korra gasped softly. Asami pressed on. "I meant it then, and I mean it now. I love you, Korra. And I will love you in whatever way you need me to love you. If you're not ready for romance, that's fine, but if you need me to lay with you and hold you through the night right now so you feel safe, then that is how I will love you. It's not taking advantage of me. It's not being selfish. It's love. I know that someday, when I _need_ you to love me back, you will. Because I trust you, Korra. I trust you more than anyone else in the world."

Suddenly, Asami felt Korra's lips delicately touch her own. It was brief, but Asami could spend the entire night trying to figure out what it meant. All she knew right then was that Korra had kissed her and it made the hair on her arms stand up. When she pulled back, Korra had taken her hands.

"I love you too, and I—I promise that if you ever need me for anything, I'll be here. I'll always be here."

Asami had never been as happy as she was in that moment. "You want to try and sleep?"

Korra chuckled softly. "Yeah."

They didn't say another word as they both laid down. Asami rolled onto her side and draped an arm over Korra's waist. Lying on her back, Korra turned her head to look at Asami next to her.

For tonight at least, everything felt like it was going to be okay.


	14. Wasteland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami spends the day with Tonraq as Korra takes advantage of a day alone.

"Will you  _stop_?" Korra chuckled, watching Asami as she crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "My dad needs your help!"

Asami sighed. "I know, but…you just seem so eager to get rid of me."

"I'm not  _eager_. It'll be good for you. Get out of this place and see the city proper." Korra's smile faltered just a little. Asami noticed, because Asami always noticed. "It's just one day."

"Why don't you come with us? I could push you around all through the city."

"I can't; yesterday's healing session kicked my butt. Katara has me doing arm exercises in the water. I'm telling you, the woman is secretly evil."

Asami couldn't help herself. "You know, you were married to her in another life."

" _Sami_ ," Korra winced. "I go to great lengths not to think about that, or think about being kind of Tenzin's dad either. There are weird things about Avatar stuff we don't talk about." Korra's mood was better than it had been in weeks since her scare with Senna.

The injury on Asami's foot had healed far faster than the wounds that night left on Senna and Korra. The truth about Korra's shaken psyche wore heavily on everyone. Still, today felt better, lighter. Tonraq had shown up early to ask Asami if she would accompany him to the city for an "expert opinion" on snowmobiles.

She would be lying if she said it didn't sound like fun. She adored Tonraq, and that he was asking for her help with something was an honor, but leaving Korra for a day was new. She hadn't been away from her longer than a few hours since that first night after the fight.

Asami could pretend all she wanted that her concern about separation was for Korra. The truth was, she was the one feeling separation anxiety.

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"She'll be  _fine_!" Asami turned as Kya stepped into the room, her grey hair hanging down and a smile on her face. Her smirk grew as she eyed Asami. "Don't worry, Senna and I will take care of your girl."

She couldn't be sure, but Asami was fairly certain her face was as red as the vest she was wearing. "Wh—I…I know." She barely managed to slur out the words before chancing a glance at Korra, who was looking down at her lap, her own cheeks an adorable pink and a smile on her face.

Little moments like that — looks and gestures Korra made — reminded Asami all over again how in love she was. Korra was her favorite person in the world.

"So it's settled then." Kya patted Asami's back. "You go help clueless Tonraq with his snowmobiles and we'll handle the Avatar."

Korra scoffed. " _Handle_  me? Nobody can handle this." She lifted her arm and flexed. It wasn't like it was months ago, but the muscles still pulsed at her motion and Asami smiled at Korra's good mood.

"Oh I don't know. I think I could manage." Asami wasn't sure why she was blatantly flirting. Things had been like this since that night she told Korra she loved her and Korra had said it back and kissed her. They flirted, they touched. They slept together every night. Though nothing was defined, not a whole lot was off limits anymore, either.

That didn't mean Asami stopped wondering about boundaries. Their touches were always unsure, and their mornings were filled with longing looks and awkward exchanges. It was torment really, and all Asami wanted to do was carry Korra to her bath like she did every morning, and be offered an invitation to join.

Korra's blush broke out again and she gently tucked her arm away. Asami had noticed a few weeks ago, as Korra continued to exercise her arms, that she would often check her muscles to see if they were defining the way they used to. Korra was very self conscious of the way she looked in her own unique way. She had always been so strong and powerful; as her curves and muscles began to slip away with her recovery, Korra's confidence diminished with them.

A soft knock on the door drew everyone's attention. Tonraq stood in his heavy coat with his eyes on Asami. "You ready to go?"

"Uh…" Asami glanced at Korra, who nodded her head to the door. "Yeah," she caved, reaching for the fur-laced coat Senna had gotten for her and slipping into it. She walked over to Tonraq and smiled. "Let's get some snowmobiles."

When she glanced over her shoulder, Korra was waving at her, a grin playing on her lips.

Asami already missed her. She was so deeply in love she couldn't even remember what life was like before it.

—

"Why did they come with us?" Asami asked as she and Tonraq walked along the streets of the city proper. About thirty feet behind them were three White Lotus guards, keeping their distance and walking in a finite line together.

Tonraq shrugged. "It's what they do. I've had at least two with me every time I've left the palace since Korra arrived."

"But aren't they're supposed to protect the Avatar, not us?"

"Maybe they're bored. We brought fifteen of them with us from Republic City and the rest stayed with Tenzin. Fifteen people to watch over one girl who spends most of her time in her bedroom is a bit much."

Asami sighed as a sharp gust of wind pushed through the air. She would be the first to admit that she was no fan of the White Lotus. They represented everything that Asami hated when it came to Korra, in that they couldn't care less about Korra.

For them, it was all about protecting the Avatar. None of them bothered to help Korra. They didn't offer support or condolences. Whatever the White Lotus may have stood for once was gone. They were nothing more than gatekeepers, protecting an always chaining castle. Whatever happened to the Avatar they didn't care, so long as the cycle didn't end.

"I think we need something to snack on, don't you?" Asami glanced up to see Tonraq eyeing a sweet shop and grinned as he began to slow down. "No fun shopping on an empty stomach."

"So that's where Korra gets it," Asami teased, hearing Tonraq laugh. "I swear... that girl loves her sugar cakes."

Tonraq nodded. "I'm afraid that's my doing. When she was in the compound and we knew she was having hard days I would always go out and buy her a bag of sugar cakes. She and I would eat them together during visits and then we'd both race to five hundred pushups an hour later to burn them off. The first time she beat me in the race I knew I had to cut down the sugar cakes." His eyes turned thoughtful, pride shimmering through them as he looked forward distantly. "That didn't help, though. Every day it seemed like she got stronger and faster. I've never known an athlete like Korra."

Asami chuckled. "You should have seen her when she was pro-bending."

"I am  _so_  upset about that." He frowned. "I would have loved to see her play. I've heard stories from Bolin and Mako. Even Tenzin has told me about it. Korra and I would always listen to the pro-bending matches on the radio."

They stepped into the sweet shop and Asami looked back as a White Lotus guard crossed the street to a newsstand on the other side. When she and Tonraq reached the counter, he ordered four sugar cakes.

As they waited for their order, they sat down at a table and Asami began to regale Tonraq with Korra's pro-bending stories.

"I don't even know how she did it, like…if you blinked in that moment, you missed it. But the water smacked Tahno right in the face and his mask flew off and he fell off the pedestal and just…the entire arena was silent in shock."

Tonraq's chest was puffed out through the entire conversation. Asami adored the way his eyes lit up at the talk of his daughter. It reminded her of how proud her own father had always been of her accomplishments. Asami could hate her father for the things he did with the Equalists and for his beliefs, but she could never hate the man he was in the years before that. He had always loved her and made her feel like she could do anything.

She was glad that their order came in when it did; it masked the sudden sadness that had washed over her. Tonraq stood up to retrieve the cakes, and Asami rose to look out the window again. The White Lotus guards were scattered about. Two of them chatted idly by the door, and the third was sitting on the ground reading something, his back against the window of the sweet shop.

"Will you take these?" Tonraq asked. "I'm gonna use the bathroom." Asami took the bags from him and went back outside to wait. The conversation the two White Lotus guards had been having stopped as soon as she returned. They both stood a little straighter and neither of them looked at her. Asami fought the urge to roll her eyes, like accompanying her and the chief of the Southern Water Tribe was some kind of important mission. Like she and Tonraq couldn't handle any trouble that might come their way.

The thought made Asami grin a little. She'd love to fight with Tonraq. If it was anything like fighting alongside Korra, it'd be a hell of an adrenaline rush.

"Excuse me." The third White Lotus guard had stood up and approached her. He was quite attractive, really. Dark skin like Tonraq and a chiseled jaw, his eyes amber and deeply set. He had a hint of a grin on his face as he approached her. For a second, Asami wondered if he was coming to hit on her.

"Is everything okay?" she asked cautiously. She had never been spoken to a White Lotus guard before.

He shrugged. "Hasn't been for a while now, I suppose."

Asami frowned. "I—I suppose not."

"You're very close with the Avatar, aren't you?"

"Oki—"

Asami looked behind her. One of the other guards was watching the exchange, a nervous look on his face.

"It's fine." The one who'd approached her, Oki, brushed off the other guard and Asami turned back to him.

"I'm close with  _Korra_ , yes."

His smile grew and Asami no longer found him attractive at all. "Good. I was hoping you might show her this."

She glanced down as he extended a hand. He held a flyer in his palm; a simple white sheet of paper with bold black characters at the top and a letter of some kind beneath it.

_**The Avatar's Duty** _

Her jaw set tight, she could feel her heart start to race and the tension in her chest begin to build. When she looked up at the guard, he had his lips pursed, his eyebrows up as though she should be thanking him for showing this to her. Like he was opening her eyes to some new form of thinking that made it okay for Korra to end her own life so that their precious Avatar cycle could continue.

A moment later her hand moved; she almost couldn't control it. Asami grabbed his wrist and pulled it up before ducking underneath his head and around his back. She took his arm with him and twisted it in a horrid position, feeling it snap against the sudden pressure. When he screamed out in pain, Asami heard the door to the sweet shop open behind her.

"Asami!" It was Tonraq, but couldn't stop herself; not yet. She used her free hand to grab the back of the guard's uniform and push him forward into the other two guards. Suddenly, all three of them were on the ground. "What's going on?" Tonraq asked, both shocked and extremely confused.

Glancing at the ground, Asami saw that the bag of sweet cakes had dropped next to the flyer. Her eyes went wide at the realization that Tonraq was standing right next to her, and she bent down quickly to pick up the piece of paper. As soon as it was in her hand, she crumpled it together and threw it onto the street.

Her chest was heaving and her heart was still racing. Two of the guards were holding the one who'd spoken to her; he clutched his arm and whined in pain.

"You're insane!" Oki shouted, his eyes shooting daggers at her.

Asami took a step towards him before a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist. "Asami." He pulled her away, but she fought against him. She wanted nothing more than to pick up that pathetic excuse for a guard and toss him onto the street. "Asami!" Tonraq was a bit more forceful this time. He managed to pull her away and hold her steady, but she still glared over her shoulder at the guard who was being helped to his feet. " _Asami Sato_ , it's calm-down time now."

She looked at Tonraq and felt her anger subside a little. She steadied her breathing, though her eyes narrowed at the phrase. "Calm-down time?"

Tonraq's face broke into a smile. "Yes, you need to relax. The poor guard is crying already."

"It's not enough," Asami said through gritted teeth. She didn't want to tell Tonraq why, didn't want to subject him to the fact that someone was suggesting his daughter kill herself. Even though she was certain he'd heard it before.

Tonraq finally set Asami down, standing between her and the three guards. "You should return to the palace. Have someone take a look at his arm, and perhaps don't accompany myself or Miss Sato around anymore. Your job is to protect my daughter, and I'm unaware of what you did to upset her. I am fairly certain you crossed a line. Please leave." He said please, but his tone was sharp and commanding. None of them argued before skulking back to the palace.

Once they were gone, Asami fell back against the wall and hugged herself, trying to calm down. Tonraq picked up the bag of sugar cakes and turned back to her.

"I can't believe you used my full name to yell at me." She smirked up at him.

Tonraq chuckled. "I can't believe you broke his arm like that. I saw it from inside the shop. You're faster than I expected."

"I'm faster than anyone expects," Asami boasted a little, glad Tonraq hadn't asked about the incident. She watched as he reached into the bag and pulled out a sugar cake to offer her, pride still on his face.

Asami took it happily, her mood suddenly a thousand times better. "What do you say we skip snowmobiles?" Tonraq asked. "I have something I want to show you."

"I'm game," Asami said, taking a bite of her sugar cake. It settled against her tongue and she felt her knees go weak. "Oh wow," she all but moaned. "These are amazing." Asami watched Tonraq put an entire one into his mouth and glanced back at the remaining cakes. "Are…you sure four is enough?"

He smirked. "Let's go get four more."

—

Having finished off her fifth sugar cake, Asami was happily full and laughing at a story about Korra getting herself stuck under a basket at the age of two.

They'd taken a fare ride away from the city and were traveling on a narrowed road towards the water. It was all new to Asami; she hadn't surveyed much of the Southern Water Tribe. But despite the cold, it was beautiful.

Eventually the ride ended and they began to walk towards a lake of some kind. Asami was fairly certain she knew where they were now. The conversation between them had stopped for the most part, but the comfort was still looming in the air. She felt such a familiar sense of safety around Korra's father. Like she could tell him anything and he would understand.

The closer they came to the water, the less the snow was impacted into the ground. It was solid, like frozen rock, and it blackened before the water consumed it. When Tonraq stopped, Asami stepped up next to him, crossing her arms to conserve warmth.

She glanced up at Tonraq beside her, his eyes answering her unspoken question. "This is where you used to take Korra, isn't it?"

He nodded, a sigh escaping him. "Yes. It was winter when we came here and found the otter-penguin pup, so the snow was pushed in more towards the water, as it will be again soon. I remember bringing Korra to places like this when she first started waterbending. She was so naturally talented; more so than any toddler should be. I just thought I'd had a gifted daughter. That maybe one day she could be as renowned as Master Katara. I never imagined that she would be the Avatar until she firebent for the first time. Then once I knew, I wondered why I didn't see it sooner."

Asami bit her lip as the words he spoke set in, though they carried a much different meaning for her.

_Why didn't I see it sooner?_

She sighed, remembering her previous thought. She could tell Tonraq anything. It was the perfect chance.

"I gave up my position at Future Industries." Tonraq turned to look at her. He didn't speak; he didn't move at all, just watched and let her continue. "When…I went in to tell them I was coming here, the board of directors asked me to reconsider. That I was needed in the office and that I had been gone too long. I didn't have to step down. I'm the CEO, you know? I could run the damn company from my house. I think Korra was my way out." She realized what she had said and backtracked. "Not that I used Korra as an excuse to leave. No. I would have followed Korra anywhere, you know—"

"Relax, Asami. I've never questioned your intentions with my daughter." He smiled and she nodded, taking a breath and pushing forward.

"I just…I never wanted that, you know? My plan was always for my father to run the company and I would design things. I would build things and he would give me the resources to change the world. Did you know that I hadn't been able to make anything new before that wheelchair I made Korra in almost a year? I was so busy being buried in paperwork and meetings that I wasn't able to do what I love. So…the second they challenged my decision to leave with Korra, I walked away."

Asami finished with a shake of her head and looked to the ground. The water was swaying in from the lake slowly, inching closer to her feet with each pass.

"Do you regret it?"

She looked up at him immediately. "No, not for a second. Even…beyond Korra who is my top priority, I'm just…relieved. I was suffocating under the pressure of my father and…everything that happened between us in that place. When things settle down, I'd like to start fresh, build my own company. Make something better out of the Sato name."

When Asami felt a hand fall across her shoulder and that warm sensation returned and settled in her bones like a slow-burning candle. Tonraq stepped in front of her, his other hand falling onto her opposite shoulder.

"You have brought nothing but honor to your family's name, Asami. I don't know your father; I won't pass judgement, but I will say that any father who was willing to give up a daughter like you is a fool. You are an amazing woman. I know I'm not your father, but…I am so proud of you."

Heat rose in her eyes. She swallowed a very thick lump in her throat and smiled. "Thank you."

With that, he pulled her in close and she wrapped her arms around his large frame and realized how much she enjoyed hugging him. He reminded her a lot of Korra. So strong and powerful, yet soft and welcoming. This whole family was starting to mean so much to her. She wanted to lose herself in the affection they'd shown her.

"I want you to know that you'll always have a place here. Whatever happens between you and Korra, you've shown your character to me and to Senna in how you've taken care of our daughter. With no expectation of anything in return. So many people assume Korra owes them something because she's the Avatar, but not you. Your love for her, your respect and compassion for her, are things a parent never forgets. If you're in search of a home, you have one with us." The tears fell freely as the words washed over her. Tonraq pulled away but kept his arms on Asami's shoulders. "We'd be honored to consider you family."

Asami's smile nearly split her cheeks. "Not sure I could ask for much more than that."

"Good." He patted her shoulder. "Just don't get my daughter pregnant."

Their joint laughter filled the air.

—

The sun was just starting to set when Asami and Tonraq returned. By then, the heat of the day had drifted away and the wind had started to pick up, the air even colder than before. Asami was thankful to return to the walls of the palace.

She'd be lying as well if she said she wasn't anxious to see Korra. It had been a wonderful day with Tonraq, but being away from Korra this long was strange. She didn't like it.

 _Get ahold of yourself, you smitten nerd_ , Asami thought as she hugged Tonraq. Over his shoulder, she caught Senna staring at her from the main room, a smile on her face.

"What?" Asami asked, drawing back from Tonraq, who turned to his wife.

Senna shrugged. "Nothing dear, just…you'll see."

Asami frowned a bit, confused, then looked to Tonraq, who also had a glint in his eyes. They were up to something.

"You two are horrible at keeping secrets," she accused, her own smile growing. "What's going on?"

Senna shook her head. "Sorry dear. We've been held to silence under the strict order of the Avatar."

Asami's heart started to race. Korra did this? She glanced at Tonraq again. "Did she make you drag me away all day?"

"Asami, why don't you go and find out."

She looked to the hallway that led to Korra's room, suddenly terrified. Her hands were shaking, and she was fairly certain her heart was about to beat out of her chest, but she willed her feet to move.

When she reached the door, this same door she'd become so familiar with over the last few months, it was suddenly the scariest thing in the world. Reaching out, she opened it slowly and peeked inside.

The room was dark, but not completely. There was flickering light scattered all around and when she saw the first candle on Korra's dresser, her stomach flipped. The more she opened the door, the more candles were revealed. They were everywhere, scattered across every shelf and piece of furniture in the room.

Eventually she opened the door far enough to see Korra sitting in her wheelchair at a table, completely dressed up. She looked beautiful, her hair down save for a pair of wolf-tails on either side. The dress she wore was the same one she'd been wearing when Asami first met her; the same one Asami had picked out for her for Jinora's ceremony.

The best thing about her, though, was her smile. She was looking at Asami with the brightest smile she'd had in months. Her hands were folded in her lap, her eyes bright and happy. Asami bit down hard on her lip, willing herself not to cry.

"Hi," Korra said, her smile fading a bit. "Are you—"

"Did you do all this?" Asami asked, trying to catch her breath.

Korra flushed a little. "I wanted to do something nice for you." She shook her head a bit. "For us."

"Us?" Asami stepped over to the table, her hands still trembling.

That was when Korra reached out and offered her hand. Asami took it immediately and felt a gentle tug that pulled her in. She knelt down carefully and leaned in as Korra wrapped her arms around her in a wonderfully warm hug. When she felt Korra's lips press into the side of her head, Asami's entire body relaxed.

"Asami," Korra said, and they slowly pulled apart. Korra's hand was on Asami's shoulder and she reached up touch it. "If you're patient with me and…can forgive a few insecurities I'm dealing with right now, I want to be with you." Korra's face was pink, her eyes as blue as Asami had ever seen them. "I love you. I'm in love with you."

If there was ever a moment in her life where Asami thought she might be able to fly, this was it. She leaned forward to kiss Korra, but stopped herself and pulled back, reaching up to gently stroke Korra's cheek. "Can I…can I kiss you?" She asked, wanting to hear the answer, needing to hear it.

Korra smiled again. "If you don't I'm going to."

That was all it took. She laughed lightly and a second later she was kissing Korra as deeply as ever. Their lips meshed together tenderly, Asami tilting her head to allow Korra access to her open mouth. Their tongues danced together, Asami losing herself to the taste of Korra's mouth and the feel of Korra's hands in her hair. It was everything she'd been waiting for and now it was finally here.

When the kiss ended, she let out a long sigh and felt Korra press a kiss to her forehead and one to each of her cheeks.

"So you're ready? For this?"

There was no hesitation in her answer. "I've been ready, in that I've been wanting this for a while now. I just….what you said the other night after everything with my mom was just—" Korra sighed, her eyes rolling. "Sorry, I'm not all eloquent with this stuff like you are. It's just—" Suddenly Korra's eyes were watering and she looked away. "You mean so much to me and over the last few months I've relied on you for…everything and you're always there. I've never needed people, but Asami, I need you. I was just scared that you wouldn't be happy. I didn't want you to be stuck with me if I never get back to being who I used to be."

"Korra I—" Asami started, but Korra raised her hand to stop her, smiling.

"I know, I just…I need to say all of this." Asami nodded, closing her mouth and listening. "I kept thinking that you wouldn't find me attractive, taking me to the bathroom and…all you've helped me with. But that night and those things you said I just…I couldn't be afraid anymore. I didn't want to waste anymore time. I want to be with you."

Asami sighed, her eyes falling shut for a moment. "No take backs?" She looked to Korra again who was shaking her head.

"No, I promise. I might get scared and I might not feel good enough sometimes, but I won't push you away." They kissed again, and Asami put her hand on Korra's leg to steady herself. "Ow…" Korra cried, and when Asami pulled back Korra was wincing. She glanced down to look at Asami's hand on her leg, her eyes wide in shock. "I—I can feel that." Asami kept her hand on Korra's leg, but loosened her grip, rubbing up and down.

"You can feel your legs?" Asami cried, wanting to hug Korra or cry in joy at this development.

However, Korra grabbed Asami's hand and removed it, her face contorting in pain. "Sami…it hurts," she was struggling to talk, struggling to breath as the pain seemed to settle over her.

Everything came crashing down on Asami as she stood up and lifted Korra out of her chair and carried her over to the bed. She laid her down, watching as Korra tried to calm herself down. The dress made it easier to see Korra's leg, and Asami pulled up the hem to reveal skin that was a dark and angry red. She reached out and placed her hand on Korra's leg, feeling it pulse with heat.

Asami didn't say another word before picking Korra up and carrying her to her parents, their previous moment abandoned in the room behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think ;)


	15. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's thicker than blood?

For Asami, it made sense that it was snowing tonight. Why wouldn't it be? Why wouldn't the universe want to pile onto this horrible moment as much as possible? Life had done nothing but dump pain on her since she was six years old. It took away everything she ever cared about. Her mother, her father, her company, and now the woman she loved was suffering in her father's arms as they crossed through the snowy night to Katara's home.

Kya had raced ahead to wake her mother; the pain in Korra's leg had been so severe that she had passed out from it. Just like that, she had the feeling return, and then it punished her.

Asami glanced over at Tonraq, Korra in his arms. She was still wearing her dress, but it wasn't noticeable, as a large, pelted blanket was draped over her. The wind was blowing through her hair; she'd worn it down for Asami because she'd complimented her on that same look months ago. Korra had only wanted to make Asami smile, but now, it took everything Asami had not to fall to her knees and scream. Korra didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to  _suffer_.

The light was on in Katara's home by the time they reached it. Kya was standing at the opened door, her eyes filled with worry as she wrapped an arm around a very shaky Senna and guided them all inside.

The door to Katara's healing pool was slid open and the older woman sat in a chair next to it. "Bring her in," Katara said, pushing up from her seat as Tonraq moved to the pool and knelt down to lay Korra on the floor.

He removed the blanket and stared at her dress for a moment before glancing back at Asami and Senna. "Should I—"

Senna shook her head. "It's her favorite dress." Senna moved over, and together she and Tonraq removed the dress from their daughter. Asami could only stand and watch. She wanted to do something, wanted to move over and take Korra's hand or help them put her in the pool, but she couldn't move. Her legs felt earthbent to the floor. If she moved, she might throw up. It was too much.

Once the dress was removed, Senna folded it over her arm and Tonraq lifted Korra up to put her in the pool. The water touching her was enough for Korra to wake up. She gasped at the contact and her eyes darted around the room.

"Easy, sweetheart," Tonraq's said, his deep voice thick with worry as he touched her cheek before sitting her on the step in the pool. "You're okay. Your leg isn't well, but Katara's going to figure out why."

Korra seemed to come around, nodding through the shallow breaths she was taking.

"It  _hurts_ , Dad," she cried, wincing in pain, and Asami couldn't help but remember hearing the same words the first night after Zaheer. It was agonizing really, to think that after all this, Korra was still in pain. As if they hadn't made any progress at all.

"I know." He kissed her forehead. "You'll be okay." Asami could tell by the sound of his voice that he was trying to convince himself just as much as his child.

"We should get started," Katara said, offering a smile to Korra, who looked up at her pleadingly. Asami wasn't sure what to do; she lingered in the back, hugging herself as she watched Katara's arms start to move and the water begin to swirl.

It was beautiful, really, the way the water glowed and Katara moved. The blue light shimmered against Korra's face as she sat helplessly and waited. Katara continued her motions, and Korra's head turned to where everyone stood. She quickly found Asami's eyes.

Asami bit back a sob and crossed the distance between them in three steps. She dropped to her knees at the edge of the water.

She didn't say anything; she wasn't sure if that would interrupt Katara, so she smiled and gave Korra a reassuring nod that she was there for her. A pulse of pain must have struck Korra a moment later, because she winced and her hands gripped the side of the pool to stay up.

A moment later, Korra slipped off the step and her head went under the water.

" _Korra_!" somebody shouted; Asami wasn't sure who. Her mind was focused completely on jumping into the pool. Once Asami grabbed her, Korra's eyes met hers under the water, and all was silent. In that second, it felt as if everything had faded away. Asami felt weightless. Another second passed and she pulled them back up.

"I've got you." Tonraq helped Korra sit up on the step, her arms still wrapped around Asami.

"You're okay," Asami said, pulling back and seeing Korra gasp for air. "We're okay. You slipped is all. You're fine."

Korra's face turned from scared to angry in an instant. Asami understood why; Korra felt the same way she did. As if they weren't allowed to be happy, like they might never be. Frustrated tears sprung from Korra's eyes as she punched the water and tried to compose herself.

"Korra, dear." Katara sat down next to the edge of the water, drawing Korra's eyes to her. "I know it's hard and I know you're in pain, but you need to trust that you'll get through this."

Asami couldn't help herself from reaching out and pushing a wet strand of Korra's hair from her face as she looked at Katara.

"It's too much," Korra whimpered. "I keep fighting but it's  _too_   _much_."

Katara smiled and offered a warm look. Katara herself had once been in love with the Avatar; it wasn't Korra, and the love now was different, but it was there all the same. Asami recognized it immediately.

"I know you're frustrated but—"

"Of course I'm frustrated!" Korra shouted, making Asami jump a little. "A crazy man  _poisoned_  me! And now I can't  _dress_  myself, or  _cook_  for myself or do  _anything_  for myself! And this whole time, the world keeps moving on without me, while I'm stuck in a wheelchair or sitting in your pool and you can't even heal me!"

Asami barely recognized Korra in that outburst. She was angry and shaking under the grip Asami had on her shoulders. When she looked to Katara again, it was clear she wasn't the only one surprised.

With a sigh, Korra lowered her head. "That came out wrong…"

"It's…alright. Let your anger and frustration  _flow_  like water," Katara mused, her voice as steady as ever. Asami awed at how well she could move past anything. There was nothing left the world could throw at her that she wasn't ready for.

"I am trying to understand why this happened to me, but nothing makes any sense. I'm tired, Katara." If the words didn't convey that, her defeated voice certainly did. It broke Asami's heart because she knew. She'd been there every day. "I'm so tired…"

Katara reached out, putting a hand on Korra's shoulder, her thumb touching the back of Asami's hand. For a second, Asami thought about pulling away, but she felt Katara press slightly on her hand and knew to keep still.

"Korra, I know you feel alone right now. But you're not the first Avatar who's had to overcome great suffering. Can you imagine how much pain Aang felt when he learned that his entire culture was taken from him?"

Looking down at the water, Korra closed her eyes. "That must have been so awful."

"But he never let it destroy his spirit. He chose to find meaning in his suffering." Korra looked up at her again, Katara was smiling. "And eventually, found peace."

"And…what am I going to find? If…I get through this?"

"I don't know." Katara's gaze flickered to Asami, for only a moment, before looking to Korra again. Asami felt her breath catch in her throat. "But won't it be interesting to find out?"

When Katara stood back up, Asami refocused on Korra, who was staring at her. They were in this pool the same way they had done everything else; together.

Letting go of Korra's shoulders, Asami undid the jacket that she'd never taken off from her day with Tonraq, and put it on the ground outside of the pool before refocusing on the task at hand.

"I'm going to stay," Asami said, looking up at Katara, who was smiling.

"I had no doubt," she said, starting her movements again. The water began to move.

Korra closed her eyes and Asami watched the water being to glow again. The sensation was comforting. It felt like vibrations were running across every inch of her body. It reminded her of riding in the backseat of a satomobile with her parents. The vibrations of the tires on the road would always make her tired. According to her father's stories, when she was a baby, they would take long drives at night through Republic City just to put her to sleep.

Those were the memories Asami wanted. She didn't have many good memories of when she had a full family left, but the ones she did have were precious.

Suddenly, everything stopped. The glow faded away, the water stilled, and Korra's eyes opened in confusion.

Asami looked at Katara and noticed how much the older woman had paled from just moments earlier.

"What's wrong?" Korra asked, her body tensing under Asami's touch.

Katara closed her eyes, taking a slow, shaky breath that made Asami's heart race.

"Katara," Tonraq spoke, his voice a bit sharper than expected. "What is it?"

She sighed, clasping her hands together in front of her. "There is a blood clot in Korra's leg. If it's not removed soon, it will travel through her veins and into her heart and ...it will kill her."

Asami gasped and saw Korra's eyes widen with horror.

"Can you fix it? You have to fix it!" Hearing her own voice surprised Asami. The plea was almost a reflex.

Katara sighed. "I can fix it but…there's only one way."

Korra's eyes narrowed. She seemed to be searching Katara's expression for the answer.

" _Bloodbending_ ," Kya said. She walked over to her mother and placed a hand on her shoulder. "That's it, isn't it?"

"I could remove the clot with bloodbending, yes."

 _Could_? Asami thought, wondering why they weren't already doing this. She knew bloodbending was awful; she'd felt it once from Tarrlok, but this was Korra's life at stake.

"I'll stay with her," Asami said. "I'll keep her held up and you can…bend the clot away, okay?" Again, Katara seemed hesitant, and Asami wanted to scream. "We can't just leave her to  _die_!"

" _Asami_!' Kya barked, holding her mother a little tighter. "You are not a waterbender, let alone a bloodbender. Do not pressure her or pretend you understand how hard this is."

All Asami could see was Korra across from her, needing her to stay alive. "This isn't about  _bending_. This isn't about understanding. Korra will die if this clot isn't removed. Katara said so herself!" Asami looked back to Korra's parents, both watching in worry. Senna had moved to the back of the pool, her hand in Korra's hair.

"It is not something to take lightly," Kya started again. "We have to consider—"

"There's  _nothing_  to consider," Asami growled.

Kya shook her head. "It's not your decision!"

"It's not a decision! It's Korra's life!"

"Ladies," Katara spoke, smiling at her daughter. "It's okay, Kya. She's right." With a heavy exhale, Katara seemed to make peace with what was coming. She smiled at Korra. "This is going to take a lot of focus and a lot of energy, from the both of us. It's also going to be excruciatingly painful for you, I'm afraid." Korra nodded slowly, her hair falling over her face. "Asami." Katara turned to her. "Keep her above water for me, will you?"

With a nod, Asami shifted and pulled Korra away from the step. The weightlessness of the water made movement easier. She situated herself behind Korra, sat on the step, and pulled the Avatar into her lap. Her hands locked protectively around Korra's waist.

Asami settled her chin on Korra's shoulder. "I've got you," she whispered.

Korra squeezed Asami's forearm in response and Katara took a deep breath.

At first, Korra went mostly stiff. Her head fell forward and her body tensed in Asami's arms. She knew it was unnatural, that Korra wasn't in control. Then something changed.

Katara threw her arms forward, and Korra jerked violently in Asami's arms.

" _Ah_!" she screamed, her voice breaking under the strain. Korra's leg rose up on its own and she stared at it, panting and hissing through her teeth. Korra's head fell back onto Asami's shoulder. Her eyes were shut tightly; she was in so much pain that tears were spilling down into her hair.

Asami reached up and brushed them away. She looked at Katara, who was sweating and straining through the work. Asami couldn't begin to understand what was going on, or how all of this worked. It was terrifying.

She could hear Senna crying to her right, but didn't dare look over. She focused on Korra instead, putting her lips to her ear, enough words coming to her to make a song.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey." Gasping for breath, Korra opened her eyes and looked at Asami. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take…my sunshine away."

She repeated the lyrics four more times, stopping only when Korra had to let out a cry of pain. Asami focused only on Korra and singing to her, though the bending felt like it had been going on forever.

When it finally ended, Katara fell to her knees and Korra went limp in Asami's arms. The weight might have dragged them both under if Tonraq hadn't steadied Asami's shoulders.

"It's done," Katara said, her tone hollow. When Asami finally focused on her, she looked extremely tired.

" _Thank_   _you_ ," Senna whispered, rushing over to Korra's side.

Tonraq took Korra into his arms and Senna helped Asami out of the pool. She didn't think she needed help until she tried to stand up and her legs turned to jelly. Asami slipped and fell onto her hands and knees, trying to stop the dizziness.

Senna was there. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Asami nodded, trying to slow her heart down. "Just…adrenaline, I think. It was scary."

"I'd like to go my room now," Katara said, and Kya helped her mother up and guided her out of the healing room. "Make sure you put her in a warm bath to keep the blood flowing," Katara said, just before they left.

Shifting, Asami laid on her back and squeezed her hands together, trying to relax. It was cold, but Asami welcomed it. The chilly air and the hard ground against her brought her back to reality. She focused on Senna hovering above her and smiled.

Finally, she rolled over and got back up, a hand on her back assisting. Tonraq had laid Korra down in the blanket and had wrapped her up in it again.

Asami's coat was wet; her clothes were wet. She was completely unprepared to return home. She felt a jacket fall across her back a moment later, however, and saw Tonraq standing behind her. He gave her a hug as he pulled his coat around her, and Asami sunk into it.

He pulled away with a smile. "Let's go home."

—

It wasn't hard to convince Korra to take a bath by the time they returned home. The small journey had been freezing cold, even with Tonraq's coat. Asami felt her teeth chattering as she started the tub. She looked into the bedroom to see Korra's parents saying their goodnights and offering their love. In a strange way, Asami felt so much privilege being there. As if, in some way, she was a part of this family, and together, they could get through anything they needed to. It was the best feeling she'd felt in a long time.

Senna came into the bathroom a moment later and hugged Asami, perhaps seeking her own comfort in Asami's arms. Senna stroked her hair and rubbed her back. It was familiar and wonderful.

Once she was alone, Asami walked back to Korra's room and leaned against her door frame. Korra was on the bed, still dressed down to her underwear and hugging herself. She looked as tired as Asami felt.

"Hey," Asami said. "How do you feel?"

Korra sighed. "Tired. Leg is throbbing a little but…it's nothing like before. I feel kinda…heavy. Like I have sludge in my limbs. But mostly just tired."

Asami grinned. "You said that already."

"It's worth two," Korra countered, her blue eyes glinting. Asami stepped towards her and bent down for a kiss.

There was no hesitation, which only added to Asami's light mood, and Korra weakly kissed her back. "You ready?" she asked, and Korra nodded. Asami scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom. When her arms touched the warm water, Asami made her decision. "Do you…mind if I join you?" she asked as she settled Korra down.

The Avatar's eyes went a bit wide, but there was no doubt in them. She nodded, and Asami stood up to remove her borrowed jacket. Since Korra still had her underwear on, Asami decided to keep hers on as well. She took her pants off and knew Korra was trying really hard not to watch her. She could see the red painted across Korra's cheeks as she stared at the water.

"Hey," Asami called, drawing Korra's gaze. "It's okay to look. I—I want you to."

Korra bit her lip, nodding slowly before her eyes shifted downward. She took her time, drinking in the sight of Asami's body. To say Asami's confidence was rising with each second would be an understatement. The way Korra looked at her was intoxicating. Like she was seeing something she couldn't believe. Asami had felt attractive before, but never like this. Never the way Korra made her feel.

"You're so… _wow_ ," Korra whispered before letting out a slow breath.

Asami chuckled. "Thank you. Now are you finished looking? It's really cold."

That made Korra smile, and Asami felt even better.

She stepped in behind Korra, gently making room for herself between Korra's back and the edge of the tub. The warm water was wonderful, and once she sat down, she slipped both her legs on either side of Korra, drawing the Avatar to lay back against her.

Asami closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She wrapped her arms around Korra, whose head had found a spot on her chest.

They sat like that for a while. Asami stroked her fingers over Korra's skin; at one point, she dipped low and found a bump on Korra's hip, a scar. She ran her finger carefully over it a few times. Korra gasped at the touch.

"I feel it," Korra said, her voice tense and nervous. "You…you don't have to—"

"It's okay, Korra," Asami said, knowing that Korra was uncomfortable with her new scars. She had at least a dozen across her back and hips from the impact of that day. "They're a part of you now, and I think you're beautiful."

The tension in Korra's body faded and she sagged into Asami, reaching down to hold the hand that was tracing her scar.

"Asami," Korra started, and Asami prepared herself for another intense conversation. They'd shared so many over the last few months. "Your boobs are really nice."

Asami bit her lip hard, because if she hadn't, the laugh would have escaped immediately. Still, it was a futile attempt, because it came and soon she chuckling boisterously, her body shaking. A moment later, Korra joined her, the exhaustion and anxiety of the night overwhelming their senses. Right then, they were together. There was no pain, no fear, no worries. Just them.

"Thanks," Asami cackled, which only made Korra laugh more and nestle her head into them deeper.

The doubts that Asami expected from Korra never came. There were no long talks about why this wouldn't work or of how scared they were. It was calm and simple, as their relationship had always been.

When they went to bed that night, Korra was very affectionate, perhaps drunk on relief and the bliss of a night that didn't end with her in pain. She kissed Asami's lips, her neck and her face; anywhere she could reach.

As she fell asleep that night, Asami could feel Korra's fingers playing with her hair. She'd never felt more loved in her entire life.


	16. Where I Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami's relationship with Korra and her family continues to grow. In very different ways.

It was a finger tracing the indent of her spine that woke Asami. She was pressed against something soft and warm, the white of Korra's tank-top filling her vision. She remained still and let Korra continue to play against her skin. Last night had been such a ride. From the high of their date, to the low of Katara's bloodbending, and back up to being in bed together.

She remained still; the quiet of the morning was welcoming. She wanted it to last, wanted to relish in the heat of Korra's body, their legs mingling together under warm blankets and Korra's touch over her back. She was only in her underwear, and Asami realized her head was actually resting against Korra's breasts. She let out a sigh, holding Korra tighter.

"Was wondering when you were going to finally say something," Korra said, her hand reaching up into Asami's hair.

"Was kinda hoping the world would go away and we could just…stay here."

Korra chuckled. "We can, for a little while."

Asami craned her neck upwards; Korra looked down at her with brilliant blue eyes. She seemed relaxed and alert, as if she'd been awake for a while.

"Did you sleep well?"

She sighed softly. "Not really. I mean I wasn't…it was a great night. But…no."

"I'm sorry," Asami frowned. Sleep was still one of the hardest things for Korra to find. Though she would never admit it out loud, Asami was certain that Korra was afraid of the dark. "We should put a light in here. We could keep it on at night just…just in case we needed to go to the bathroom or something."

The movements across Asami's back stopped and Korra's eyes settled on her. She smiled sadly. "It's just hard to shut my mind off in the dark."

"Nothing wrong with that," Asami said, her hand reaching up under Korra's shirt and onto the flat of her stomach. "I'm making an executive decision right now. We're putting in a night light."

Korra laughed breathlessly and her gentle strokes continued. Asami felt like she understood why Korra was afraid of the dark. She was, at once, the most powerful person in the world. Now she needed help getting out of bed every single morning, and it would make sense to be afraid. If someone came through the window, tried to get her as they had before, Korra was in no position to protect the ones she loved. To protect herself.

Thoughts like this made Asami revel in how  _strong_  Korra was. To be able to smile and push forward with so much having been taken from her. She couldn't walk, that was the obvious loss, but there were so many small freedoms taken with it that nobody else understood. Asami saw them; she was there every single day, trying to fill the void of what was stripped away.

"You and your executive decisions. I'm surprised you didn't drag a bunch of Future Industries projects with you here." Asami tensed a bit. Tonraq knew of her leaving the company, but it was never anything that had come up with Korra. If Asami had it her way, Korra wouldn't ask, and in the end, it wouldn't matter. She worried if Korra found out she had given up her job to be here, the guilt might drive a wedge between them.

"Nope. You're all I need," Asami said. It wasn't a lie, though it wasn't the whole truth.

The playful groan Korra let out proved her tactic had worked. "You're so  _cheesy_ ," she said through a smile. Asami raised a mischievous eyebrow and Korra looked at her leeringly. Asami suddenly pulled Korra's shirt up and put her face in Korra's stomach. "What are you—" She blew a huge raspberry against her and listened as Korra broke into a fit of giggles. " _Ah_ —Asami!" She continued to laugh, the lightest and most wonderful sound Asami could remember. She blew another, and Korra continued to laugh, gently pulling on her hair. "Sami!  _Stop_ ," Korra cried through her laughter.

Asami pulled away and looked up at Korra, still holding her shirt. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought you'd enjoy this more than the cheesiness."

"You," Korra panted, a grin plastered on her face. "You wouldn't dare do it again."

At that point, Asami knew that Korra wanted her to, and if there was one thing she couldn't do, it was say no to Korra.

She returned to her childish assault and Korra continued to laugh and squirm underneath her.

"Okay!" Senna called, laughing, and Asami felt her face heat up a thousand degrees. She sat up quickly, watching as Korra wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. "You two are making quite the racket in here."

"It's all Asami's fault!" Korra chuckled as Asami helped her sit up without needing to be asked.

Asami pouted and looked to Senna. "Sorry. Korra was teasing me for being cheesy and I couldn't let that stand."

The joy of this moment wasn't lost on any of them. Senna was beaming and Korra still had tremors of laughter bubbling through her. It was the best morning she'd had in years.

"Okay well, it's time to settle down. We have a surprise for you."

Asami glanced at Korra, who seemed as confused as she was. A moment later, Tonraq came into the room with a small tray in his hands and two plates of food.

"Since you two weren't able to finish your night the way you started it, I thought your… _date_ …could continue over breakfast in bed."

"You guys!" Korra whined, blushing. Asami fought like hell not to cry. It was becoming harder and harder for her to find words that fit how much she loved this entire family. They were  _everything_  she wanted and more. They cared so much. They were fun and open, willing to accept any mistake or misstep. Most of all, they loved, unconditionally and without fault.

As Tonraq placed the table over their legs, she reached up and patted his back. "Thank you for this," she said. Korra gasped at the dumplings in front of her.

Tonraq grinned down at her. "Any time."

When Senna came around with a lone candle and placed it between their plates, Asami finally realized it was a more compact version of their date. Some of her nervous energy returned.

Just before Senna could light the candle, Korra spoke. "Wait…can I…try?"

"Oh," Senna looked at her daughter and nodded. "Of course, sweetheart."

Asami put down her chopstick and watched as Korra took a deep breath and lifted her hand up. She held two fingers together and pointed them at the wick. Closing her eyes, she exhaled, and a small spark of fire escaped from her fingers. The candle caught fire and fluttered in the air.

"Ha!" Korra cheered, almost bouncing in her spot. "Next thing you know I'll be challenging Lord Zuko to an Agni Kai!"

"I'm not sure about that, Korra. Even when you're back in fighting from, Lord Zuko is a tough old man," Tonraq joked from the doorway, drawing a glare from his daughter. "I'm just saying."

"Come on, Tonraq. Let's leave these two alone." Senna kissed the tops of Korra and Asami's heads before grabbing her husband by the arm and pulling him out of the room. Asami watched them leave, still reveling in the warmth they gave her. When she finally turned back, Korra was looking right at her.

"Can I kiss you again?" Korra asked, her eyes hooded and her mouth open slightly.

Suddenly the moment felt more weighted. "I—you kissed me quite a bit last night."

"No." Korra shook her head, making Asami's stomach twist into knots. "I want to  _kiss_  you. Like… _really_  kiss you."

Asami felt Korra's hand graze her waist, and she shivered. Their lips touched, soft at first. Korra focused on Asami's lower lip, taking it between her own and sucking on it softly. Her hand made its way up Asami's body, thumb brushing under her arm and ghosting ever so slightly over the swell of her breast.

Asami opened her mouth, bottom lip still trapped, and gasped. Korra took advantage of the opening and slipped her tongue into Asami's mouth.

Asami moaned faintly and moved closer to Korra, hating the small space between them.

The kiss carried on, and Asami tilted her head to explore Korra's mouth. It was hard to keep her hands from shaking; this was something she'd wanted for so long. To just kiss Korra, for no other reason than desire. It was calm yet passionate. Asami reached up and buried her hand in Korra's hair.

When she shifted, Asami's leg lifted up and bumped the table above them. A glass of juice fell over and Asami reacted quickly to pick it up, breaking the kiss in the process.

"Sorry," she said, breathless. Her face felt like it was on fire. When she looked back to Korra, her cheeks were pink and her lips were red from the contact.

"No," Korra sighed. "That was…you're  _really_  good at that."

Asami grinned. "So are you."

"We uh…we should eat." With a slow nod, Asami agreed, but neither of them could take their eyes off each other. Asami reached out for Korra's leg and stopped, her hand hovering in the air between them. "It's okay," Korra said. "It's not a lot, but I think I can feel some stuff. I was testing pressures last night while you were sleeping."

"Let me know if I hurt you, okay?"

Korra shook her head. "You didn't hurt me last time."

"I did," Asami said, frowning. "I mean, it wasn't intentional, but I just…I hate seeing you hurt."

"It must have been a pretty hard few months for you, then." Korra meant it as a joke, and Asami knew that. Still, it hurt, she put her hand down on the bed and lowered her head. "Hey." Korra placed a finger under her chin and pushed her head up. "I love you for saying that, okay? For feeling that. It means I'm not going through this alone."

Korra grabbed Asami's hand and pulled it onto her leg. When Asami gave a gentle squeeze, Korra sighed happily.

"Do you feel it?"

"I do."

—

"Go lay down."

"No."

"Right now."

"I won't do it," Asami said.

Korra sighed and shook her head, looking to Kya to intervene. She only raised her hands up in surrender.

Asami sniffled and picked up the small weights that Korra had been using for the last week to try and regain the strength in her arms. The last few days had been great. Today, however, Asami woke up with a terribly clogged up head and runny nose. Honestly, she felt like death. But this was important to Korra, and she wanted to be a part of it.

"I'm fine, come—" Asami's sneeze cut off her own sentence. She felt her head spinning as the weight fell from her hand to the ground with a thud.

"Okay, no, Asami, you need to go lie down." Korra's tone was sharp, leaving no room for argument. When Asami put her head in her hands and nodded, she knew she had been defeated. Korra was almost out of her chair trying to get closer to Asami, who was swaying on her feet. "Kya, will you take her back home? Please?"

"Sure. Will you be okay?" she asked Korra.

"She'll be fine," Katara said, stepping out from the door at the back of the small training area. "I'll stay with her and chat." They hadn't seen much of Katara since she bloodbent the clot from Korra's leg. Nobody had asked where she was, though. Katara had earned the right to take her time.

As she stepped to Korra's chair, she took her hand and smiled. "I mean it, Asami. You rest, okay? Don't worry about me or anything." There was so much genuine worry and concern in Korra's face that Asami was pretty sure she would have done anything she was told.

"I will." For a second, Asami considered saying 'I love you'. But despite the lightheadedness, it was not lost on her that Katara was in the room, and something about saying 'I love you' to the reincarnated spirit of her dead husband was a little…strange.

"Kya, tell Mom. She'll take care of it."

Kya smiled. "You've got it."

Asami rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, really." She sniffled and Korra winced a little. "I mean, maybe I'm not at my best—"

" _Go_ ," Korra chuckled, kissing her hand before releasing it.

The walk back to the palace was quiet. Even if it had been in the heat of a very intense moment, neither Asami or Kya had forgotten the exchange they'd had in the pool that night. The air was sharp and cold, and Asami hugged herself a little tighter. Neither of them spoke as the reached the palace entrance.

By the time they found Tonraq, Asami felt like the room was spinning.

"Are you okay? You look…"

Asami narrowed her eyes. "I know," she said, a bit bitterly, having heard twice now how bad she looked.

To his credit, Tonraq merely chuckled and wrapped an arm around her.

"You got this?" Kya asked. "Your daughter told me to tell Senna. She wants to make sure this one does as told and gets some rest."

Tonraq nodded. "I'll let the warden know."

As Kya left, Tonraq guided Asami up the stairs to their main living area. It was warm, wonderfully so, and Asami let out a long breath.

"You know what you need?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "Some of Senna's sea prune stew." Asami felt her nose crinkle. "Oh, don't make faces. It's good for a cold."

"I don't have a cold," Asami said, her nasally voice betraying her. "Ugh."

"Senna, we have a patient."

Korra's mother's face turned positively sympathetic. She rushed to Asami and put a hand on her forehead. "Oh you're burning up! Why didn't you say something? I wouldn't have let you go with Korra!"

Moments later, Asami found herself buried in blankets on the couch as Tonraq stoked the fire and Senna worked in the kitchen. Maybe it was her cold, or the fact that things had been going so well with her and Korra, or just the simple fact that she was surrounded by so much love; whatever it was, Asami felt tears spilling down her cheeks and she couldn't wipe them away fast enough.

"Oh sweetheart, are you okay?" Senna asked, a bowl of soup in her hands. She sat it on the table and took a spot next to Asami.

Asami nodded, smiling quickly to alleviate any worry Senna may have. "I'm fine. Just…happy."

"Happy?" Senna laughed. "You're sicker than a polar bear dog."

"I know and yet…you're here, and Tonraq is here and Korra made me leave because she was so worried for me and I just—" Asami couldn't stop; she was lightheaded and tired. The filter was turned off. "I love you all so much." She looked to Senna. "I love you."

Now it was Senna's tear to shed a few tears. She silently pulled Asami into her arms and hugged her, the giant blanket not doing anything to keep them apart.

"I love you too, sweetheart. So does Tonraq. Don't you dear?"

From the fireplace, Tonraq nodded. "The day she took down that White Lotus guard, I knew she was one of ours." He looked back and smiled at her and Asami felt that warm feeling coursing through her again. It made everything else feel irrelevant.

After the hug broke, Senna managed to get a few bites of food into Asami. She eventually settled her head in Senna's lap. She and Tonraq told stories that were slowly fading away as Senna's fingers stroked through her hair.

Asami fell asleep soon after, only waking up when Tonraq carried her to bed.

It was hours later when Asami woke up again, the night light in Korra's room setting a soft, orange glow along the walls. It was still dark outside; probably two or three in the morning, if Asami had to guess.

There was an arm wrapped around her and a body pressed against her back. Korra was always so warm, and Asami wondered how she slept before they shared a bed; Korra made everything feel more comfortable. When she shifted slightly, the arm around her waist squeezed a little.

"You're awake?" Korra said, sounding as if she had been for a while.

Asami frowned and stroked the back of Korra's hand. " _You_  are."

"Only because  _you_  were snoring," she joked, and Asami gasped.

"I was not!" When she tried to crane her neck back, Korra's lips were on her cheek. "You need to be asleep," Asami whispered, Korra's face still close to her own. "You need—" Korra was kissing her again, like she wasn't awake because of her snoring, but because she was waiting for this.

Asami rolled onto her back, Korra propped up on her pillow. The kiss deepened. Asami's hair fell between their faces; Korra groaned and pushed it away. Her hands lingered on Asami's face, tracing her jaw with a thumb.

This was desire; this was teenagers wanting and needing and feeling passion like this for the very first time. The logical part of Asami's mind was flickering, telling her to stop. They were in Korra's parents home, Korra was hurt, Korra was—trailing a hand down her side.

 _Why should we stop?_  Asami thought. Korra was clearly driving this forward and Asami had no doubts of her own feelings. There was nothing wrong with this; they were in love and together after so much had been thrown at them. They deserved this.

The kiss broke and Asami leaned up on her elbow as Korra slowly rolled onto her back. Her hair was a mess, fluffed out under her head, dark against the white of the pillow. Her eyes were locked on Asami's, her chest rising and falling rapidly. They'd fallen down this hillside so quickly.

"Asami," Korra whispered, like a plea, and Asami placed her hand on the hem of Korra's tank top. She pulled it up, remembering the raspberry she had given Korra a few days prior. She'd been sick all day, but right now her mind and body felt clear. She leaned down to Korra's stomach and dropped an open mouthed kiss against her abdomen.

The hiss Korra let out was intoxicating. A hand fell into her hair, gently urging her to do it again. She did; once, twice, and a third time, each finding a new spot of warm skin. Asami continued to kiss further and further up, stopping just as the tank top bundled under Korra's breasts. She looked into blue eyes again, swallowing the thick lump in her throat.

"Come here," Korra said, her voice barely carrying between them. Asami didn't hesitate, instead crawling up and trailing a hand on Korra's stomach. She kissed her lips again, only for a moment, then sat up and quickly removed her own shirt. It was hot; she needed more air, she needed to feel more of Korra. She just…needed.

She kissed Korra again, a bit more aggressively this time. Korra moaned into her mouth and Asami wrapped her hand around Korra's side, sliding her thumb under Korra's tank top to brush the bottom side of her breast. The contact made Korra shiver, and she grasped Asami's back.

Asami broke the kiss and moved her lips to Korra's neck. She placed her mouth against Korra's pulse point and traced her tongue along it, feeling Korra crane her neck to give Asami more space to work.

When Asami's hand went under Korra's shirt completely, cupping her, Korra started panting. "Wait…" she gasped. "Stop."

Asami did, immediately removing her hand and pulling back. Her breathing ragged and her body laced with sweat, the only sensation greater than her racing heart was the guilt that she'd gone too far.

"Sorry." Asami sighed, trying to calm down. "I…pushed. I'm sorry."

"No." Korra shook her head, not bothering to pull her shirt back down. "I just." She exhaled slowly. "I don't know if my body will let me. I don't want to get worked up and not be able to… _release_  it."

"Oh."

Korra nodded. "I want to." She reached over and put her hand on Asami's. "I've never felt…like this before. It's all new and scary and…amazing. But I just don't know if I can."

"Have you tried? Have you—"

"No," Korra pursed her lips together. "No, I haven't found the courage yet. If I can't—"

"Hey. Your legs are getting feeling back everyday. Your body is just starting to wake up. Your whole body." Asami slipped her hand away from Korra and went back to her bare stomach. "You feel this?" Closing her eyes, Korra nodded. "Okay," she inched her hand lower. "Tell me when you don't." The husky sound of her voice was unfamiliar. Korra shuddered at the tone and nodded again.

Asami's two fingers followed the trail of Korra's abdomen, dipping in her belly button before reaching the top of her sweatpants. She trailed her fingers against them, flicking at the material and waiting for permission.

Korra opened her eyes again and Asami smiled.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

With that, she slid her hand under the material and found new skin to touch. Ignoring her own sensations, Asami focused on Korra. This was important to her. So important that all Asami could do was hope it was everything she wanted it to be.

At first contact, Korra jerked a little, her eyes almost confused, unreadable. Asami was gentle, barely touching Korra, but when she moved her fingers again, she heard Korra gasp.

"Do you feel—" Korra nodded before she could finish. "You're so beautiful," Asami said, leaning down to capture Korra's lips. She started to cry as Asami removed her hand. Asami laid down next to her and felt tears forming as well; watching Korra's face light up was like watching a boulder being removed from her chest. Asami wondered now how long Korra had worried about that. She understood that Korra's fears were part of why they had broken up the first time. But so much had changed since then, and Korra was improving physically.

They had so much longer to go until Korra got to be the Avatar again. To live up to everything that was expected of her. Tonight though, she was just a girl, a girl who was in love and feeling new things every single day.

Asami knew, because she was feeling all the same things.

It never escalated beyond those few touches, not tonight. Korra asked for help taking her tank top off, and they cuddled, naked bodies pressed together and gentle kisses exchanged in the night.


	17. Commitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami finds an ally, and Korra is reminded of what it means to be loved.

Asami was nervous. She felt silly; she had been in so many awkward and uncomfortable business meetings after taking over Future Industries. But something about this was different.

No cranky old businessman or world leader could quite compare to the sweet old lady sitting across from her drinking her tea.

"You wanted to see me, dear? Did you wish just to have a cup of tea with an old woman?" Katara's voice was soft as ever, welcoming. That trait seemed to be shared by most of the people in Korra's life.

"No. I mean  _yes_! But also…I just…I wanted to thank you, I suppose."

Katara set her cup down. "For breaking a code that I've carried for seven decades by bloodbending to save the girl you're sleeping with?" Asami's eyes went wide with horror and Katara started chuckling. "I'm teasing you. You made the right call that night."

Though she was still reeling a bit, Asami relaxed. "I didn't mean to be so… _forceful_. It's just that Korra is important."

"I understand."

Despite the words that were meant to comfort, Asami found herself frowning. She wondered if Katara really did understand, or if she believed Korra was important because she was the Avatar, like her own husband had been. She knew it was silly, but it bothered her when people failed to see the difference between Korra and the Avatar.

"I'd be lost without her," Asami said, trying to be more specific.

Katara nodded again. "A lot of people would be."

"No, I mean…of course they would, but I meant that…without Korra I—I don't know if  _I_  could…" Asami sighed and decided to forgo the dancing. "What do you see when look at Korra?"

The boldness of her tone grabbed Katara's attention. She thought for a moment, then smiled. "I see a little girl who knew my name before I even introduced myself." The words sunk in, and Asami felt terrible. She had been so focused on Korra that she had forgotten the circumstances surrounding her birth. What Katara had lost was now hers. "It is the duty of the Avatar to maintain balance in the world. They must never forget that they serve this purpose. The struggle Korra is going through now, her feelings of uselessness, are centuries old."

Asami frowned again. "I don't want her to feel that way. She's  _not_  useless. She's getting better, she's—"

"Relax, Asami," Katara cooed softly, reaching across the small table to pat her hand. "There is a desire within Korra to protect. It is as natural to her as the air she breathes. If she sees the world hurting, she hurts as well. Even the smallest thing, like strangers being in danger, makes the decision to hand over herself seem simple."

Asami hated that the world put so much pressure on one person, even one as powerful as the Avatar.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it, or just let her suffer alone."

This made Katara's smile grow. "Which leads us to  _your_  duty." Asami felt her brow quirk. "Korra's duty is to maintain balance within the world, but what every good Avatar has had is someone in their life to balance them." Asami felt like a pressure was being lifted off her chest. "It's not always a lover, just…a person, who reminds them of their value and individuality. That they matter beyond their destiny."

"That's me with Korra. That's…what I'm always trying to tell her, trying to tell the world! That she matters. I know she has things she can't control. I know that her role will always be a dangerous one, and if there ever comes a time where she has to hand over her life to save millions of people I'll support her. But at the same time, I don't want her thinking she's just a weapon, or that she's not important or needed. I need her; her parents need her. We don't need the Avatar, just Korra. The world could strip away her bending tomorrow and I'd still want to wake up next to her and tell her I love her."

"Now you understand why there's no need for an apology," Katara mused, her gaze hardening a little. "That  _man_ …Zaheer, he hurt a girl, a hero, and did not think twice about the damage he caused. One blind ambition towards his chaotic ideal of freedom and the last five months have been a nightmare for Korra. That's where you come in. That's where I was years ago with Aang. He suffered and he struggled; he lost himself in his pain. We have to keep them fighting, you and I. The people allowed to be close to the Avatar are gifted with the chance to assist them, whether it's fighting by their side, or holding them when they cry. Balancing the world is their fight. But balancing them…that's ours."

She saw a bit of herself in Katara's eyes. "I'll never stop fighting."

"Neither will I."

—

 _Korra fell_.

Asami wasn't with them when it had happened, but she could hear Korra crying when Kya brought her home. She'd been in her room drawing when they returned and nearly threw her stuff onto the floor when Korra came into the room.

"What's wrong?" she asked, kneeling in front of Korra, who was softly sobbing into her own hands.

After a few moments of silence, Asami glanced up at Kya, who frowned. "She had a fall with Mom today."

"Is she hurt?"

Kya shook her head. "She's fine, physically. Just—" The rest of the sentence didn't need to be finished. Asami wondered if there really was a right way to finish it. Kya squeezed Korra's shoulders. "You'll be okay, Korra. I'll come check in on you tomorrow." Kya offered a smile to Asami as she left, and it seemed to wash away any lingering discomfort.

Asami wrapped her hands around Korra's wrists and pulled her hands away from her face. Korra's eyes were red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears and her bottom lip quivering.

"Oh  _Korra_ …I'm so sorry." Asami leaned in and kissed her forehead before wrapping her up into a hug. Korra made no effort to return the hug or pull away, falling against Asami's body in defeat.

Korra had been able to wiggle a toe during a session one day. What followed was weeks of leg stretches and exercises that wore Korra out every night. But Asami was so happy; Korra's arms were becoming stronger each day, and she could now transfer herself from her bed to her chair. It had been such a big step.

When Katara suggested Korra try to walk, or put any weight on her legs at all, Asami had been skeptical. Not because she didn't believe Korra could do it, or that Katara was pushing her too hard. But because if it didn't work, the risk of Korra suffering a setback was much higher.

There was no denying that things had been better over the last few weeks; the good days were starting to outnumber the bad ones. But Korra's recent progress didn't wash away all the pain or mend her fragile mind or heal her wounded spirit. Those would take more time and effort, and they were things that Asami couldn't help with nearly as much.

Asami held Korra by the shoulders as the Avatar sniffled and shook her head. "Do you—what do you want to do?" She shifted the question to give Korra the choice, to give Korra control. Perhaps that would help, to feel in control, even with something as small as this.

"I want to…" Korra sighed and still had yet to look at Asami. "The bed is fine. I just…want to lie down."

"Okay. Do you want me to push the chair by the bed or—"

"Will you just  _do it_ , please." Korra's voice was sharp and short. "I don't want to fall on my face again."

Asami frowned. "Korra, you've done this before." Instead of an argument, Korra finally did look at her. Her expression was not pleased and Asami caved. She stood up and pulled the blankets down on Korra's bed. The movements of putting Korra into bed were as natural as putting parts into an engine for her. The muscles she moved, the steps she took, like pistons firing.

Once Korra was propped up against her pillows and Asami had helped her into a dark blue robe, Korra asked for the stack of letters from Republic City.

They'd both received a multitude of them. Asami always read hers as soon as they arrived, but Korra had yet to read a single one.

The room was silent for a good four hours after that. Naga stayed at the foot of Korra's bed as she read her letters. Asami had taken respite in a chair next to Korra's dresser and was using the top of it to work in her sketchbook, something she hadn't had time to do in months.

Occasionally she'd glance back and see Korra letting another page flutter to the floor next to the bed. Nights like tonight were hard, when Korra felt defeated and seemed a thousand miles away.

Asami knew better than to press. Korra would come back to her. She had always come back. Still, there was a lingering fear that always crept in, that one of these times Korra might slip away and stay gone.

It was late when Asami finally gave up on Korra opening up to her and crawled into bed. Korra continued to read letter after letter. There were ones from Bolin and Mako, Tenzin and his children, and even a few from Su and her family in Zaofu. Asami had received many of the same. They spoke mainly of the things everyone was doing to help the world while Korra recovered.

In theory, the reminders were meant to put Korra's mind at ease, to keep her from fretting. But the reality was, it was making Korra feel useless.

On the bed, Asami played with the edge of the blanket, her back to Korra. The glow of Korra's reading light shined over her against the wall. She extended her arm and made a shadow puppet of a polar bear dog. It was something she used to do when she was little, though that was the only animal she'd ever learned. She lowered her pinky a few times, making the shadow bark, though she resisted the urge to actually bark.

"You gave up Future Industries." It was the first thing Korra had said to her in hours, and Asami suddenly wished they'd remained silent all night. She rolled onto her back and stared up at Korra, who was still holding a letter. "Mako told me." Korra let the letter fall to the floor with the rest. "Said he read it in the paper when they hired the new CEO." She sighed and laid her head back against the pillow.

Asami stared up at the ceiling, expecting Korra to say more, but she didn't. She slipped her hand out of the blankets and laid it over Korra's.

She was very aware that Korra hadn't reacted to the contact. "I know what you're thinking," Asami finally said, her voice raspy and thick. Korra simply nodded and stared up at the ceiling. "Please don't."

"It's  _scary_ , Asami," Korra said, not in the angry tone Asami had expected.

"What?"

"It's just—" Asami only heard surprise in her voice. Possibly fear. "You're that serious about us?"

"Of course I am!" Asami found herself laughing. Korra pouted at her and she tried to stop. "Aw, Korra. I told you that I was committed to being with you and helping you. That meant making those kinds of sacrifices. They felt like I wasn't committed enough to the company and so I stepped away. It's really not a big deal."

"It is a big deal! That was your company. Your family's company. So much of your heart and soul went into bringing it back! You…you gave all that up to come with me and...you didn't even know if I felt the same way you did?"

Asami sat up, her smile growing at the affection she felt for Korra. "You don't  _get_  it, Korra. If I had stayed, I'd have stressed myself out even more worrying about you. I don't…I don't know what I would have done. Built a giant statue in the city just so I could see you." Korra chuckled as she lifted her head to look at Asami. "My feelings never mattered, not with this. You were my best friend. I told you I loved you, however you needed me to."

"So you're…serious about this? Like…you love me enough to give up all that? I don't want to sound ungrateful, I'm not." Korra sighed, tears in her eyes. "You being here means so much to me. It's just…nobody has ever done anything like that."

"People always want to do things to help you."

Korra shook her head dismissively, a tear escaping. "They want to help the  _Avatar_. Not…not like you." She sniffled. "Nobody has ever done that for  _me_."

"I love you, Korra. I would do the same thing for you even if you weren't—if you hadn't gone through what you did. I just…so long as you want me around, I want to be around you. My parents are gone, and I could build another company. That's what I do. But you…you're my  _family_."

Korra leaned forward, and Asami met her in the middle and their foreheads touched. "I love you too. So much. I do want you here, I want—I guess I didn't realize how real this was until I read that letter. How much you mean to me and that…it goes both ways. It's scary, but in the best way, you know?"

Asami nodded, her heart in her throat. "There was a moment, after I had signed over my control of the company, that I realized I was really doing this, and it scared me. Not because I thought it was a bad idea, but because I was so certain it wasn't. Being here with you, with your family, that's what I wanted. And as soon as I signed my name on that document I knew I had made the right choice."

"I don't think you can call them  _my_  family anymore. If you were here without me I think my dad would still adopt you. They love you." Korra leaned in and kissed her softly. "I love you. I just wish we could move past this and I could stop…hurting. I feel like we keep having the same conversation over and over again and I hate it."

"We're getting there." Asami pulled away and laid her hand on top of Korra's. There were still a few unread letters in her lap; she used her other hand to pick them up and move them aside. "You fell today?"

"Yeah." Korra nodded, her head dropping. "I keep thinking I'm  _there_  and then…I don't know. My mind just locks up and down I go. It's like…" she trailed off, her eyes unfocusing as she stared at the blanket covering her.

"Like what?" Asami pressed.

Korra glanced back up at her again. "Like I have some kind of mental barrier and every time I'm about to take a step, I feel all the pain I felt from all the people who've hurt me in one moment and it overwhelms me."

"Okay." Asami nodded, reaching her hand under Korra's chin to draw her eyes back. "What can I do to help?"

The smile she received was her favorite thing in the world. "You're doing more than enough, but…maybe if you were there? I know you've stayed away from the healing sessions, but it might help if you could just…talk me through it. Keep me focused."

"You bet. I mean, I do have a pie to bake with your mom tomorrow, but I suppose I could hold off."

Korra chuckled. "Yeah? Think you can move Mom aside and make a little room for me?"

"I suppose." Asami kissed her. "Just this once." She only drew back to finish the thought, her lips still inches away from Korra's. The heat between them settled like a fog and suddenly the small gap was too much, and Asami closed the distance.

Her height was an advantage because she could bend down and capture Korra's lips while slowly guiding her back to the pillows. Korra's hands were fisted in the back of her nightshirt, tugging at the fabric.

Asami couldn't hold back; her left hand was suddenly cupping one of Korra's breasts and the Avatar gasped into her mouth and pulled away slightly. Asami let go immediately.

"Sorry," Korra murmured, and Asami shook her head.

"No, I—I'm sorry, I just—"

Korra grabbed Asami's hand put it back in place. "It's okay, I—I want you to. You just…startled me."

Glancing down, Asami took in the sight of her hand touching Korra in that particular spot. It felt a little surreal. Having been friends as they had, and after all they'd been through, this was real. Her heart was racing.

Gently, Asami squeezed, and Korra bit her lip, still staring at Asami as she tested pressure with her hand. It was the sexiest thing Asami had ever seen and her brain felt like mush trying to process every nerve and muscle that was suddenly firing within her.

Eventually, Asami's hand moved up, sliding into Korra's robe and pushing it off her shoulder to reveal the tank top she wore underneath. Asami leaned in, kissing along Korra's collarbone and pulling at the shoulder of her shirt. She wanted to feel Korra's skin on her lips again, as she had once before. It was as if it was a drug and Asami was addicted to the feeling.

She settled back again, taking in the sight of the girl in front of her, chest heaving and eyes still on hers.

"What do you want?" Asami asked, prepared to give her anything.

Korra swallowed thickly, suddenly shy. "M—my top. Can you take it off?"

Asami smiled. "Happy to." She reached into Korra's lap and untied the robe around her. It fell across her pillows and a moment later Asami tugged Korra's tank top up and over hear head.

She laid the shirt on the pillow next to Korra and drank in the sight of her. Asami could tell by the fidgeting of her hands that Korra was still nervous. She stopped herself from ogling the Avatar's brilliant form and cupped her cheeks.

"You're  _amazing_ ," she said, kissing her chastely.

When Korra reached up to put a hand in Asami's hair, she could feel her shaking slightly. A rush of responsibility washed over Asami. Korra had never done these kinds of things before. They'd gone quite far previously. Asami had touched her…everywhere. Even that was different though, experimental. This felt heavier, like the kind of night neither of them would ever forget.

It was Asami's responsibility to make it special.

As her hands fell away, Asami reassured Korra with a warm smile. "Tell me if you want me to stop, okay? We'll go as far as you want."

Korra, surprisingly, smirked. "I think it's…only right…that I see you now."

"Huh," Asami chuckled. "Fair enough."

Sitting back up, Asami removed her own shirt and felt the chilly night air on her skin. Goosebumps covered her arms and back. Unlike Asami, Korra was not hesitant to stare. She had her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide as she took in what she could see. Asami didn't feel any anxiety, though, not with the way Korra was looking at her. If anything, she'd never felt more beautiful.

"Will you…come here?" Korra asked, her voice shaky as she leaned back a bit into her pillows and patted her lap.

Asami crawled forward, lifting one leg up and straddling Korra's lap. She rested her arms on Korra's shoulders, looking down towards her.

Korra's blue eyes were darker. They fluttered slightly as she leaned forward and hesitantly pressed her lips to Asami's breast.

The warm sensation made her shudder and her head fell back. "Oh," she whispered, not wanting to make too much noise. Korra was experiencing new things; Asami was experiencing new things. The Avatar's hands were on her back, seeking out new places to touch as her tongue started to flutter back and forth.

When Korra switched to the other breast, Asami's head lulled and she leaned forward onto Korra's shoulders. Asami could feel Korra's confidence growing with each sound she made, her tongue more daring, her motions swifter. She pulled back at one point to send Asami a lustful grin before continuing.

"Okay," Asami finally said, her throat dry. Korra pulled back with moist lips and flushed cheeks. "Spirits Korra, where did that come from?"

She merely smiled and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "I just…wanted to taste you."

Asami audibly groaned, a chuckle in her throat. "Who  _are_  you?"

"What?" Korra laughed, a bit indignant. "I can be sexy."

Asami rolled her eyes, removing herself from Korra's lap. "I know you can be sexy. I just didn't know you had  _that_  much of it in you." Korra was brimming with confidence, and so Asami reached out and ghosted a thumb over her breast. "I can be sexy too, you know?"

"Asami," Korra breathed, her eyes falling shut. "You  _radiate_  sexy."

Asami captured Korra's lips and let her hand slide down Korra's stomach at an agonizingly slow pace. Once she reached the hem of her pants, Korra tensed. "Hey, you want me to stop?" Asami asked.

Taking shallow breaths, Korra nodded. "I just…I'm not…ready yet." Asami removed her hand and Korra sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't ever think you have to apologize. If I wasn't ready, I know you'd stop. We're not in a hurry, Korra. Remember, we've got all the time in the world." She kissed her softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Korra seemed suddenly upset, and once again shy, as she lowered her head and brushed her eyes. "I thought I was ready, I want to be. It's just…"

"You can talk to me, Korra." Asami pulled her in for a hug.

"I want it to be special, I want…to feel we're doing it at the right time. Not because I had another bad day and you had to make me feel better."

Asami knew better than to argue. It was how Korra felt, and that was more than enough to make her stop. She  _wanted_  Korra; it wasn't about comfort, it was about desire, but it wasn't something she intended to push. Instead, she kissed the top of Korra's head.

"You wanna cuddle?

Korra smiled shyly and nodded.

They laid down together, and Korra shook the bed trying to roll onto her side. Once she was situated, Asami settled up against her and felt Korra's arm drape around her waist, lacing their hands together. Korra dropped a few soft kisses along her back. When the lights were out and they were in bed like this, Korra was extremely affectionate.

"I love you, Asami. I love you so much."

Asami smiled and closed her eyes. It was clouded, in this room. The world fell away in the darkness and the quiet moments they shared. Asami could pretend that Korra was just a normal person and she was just a girl who'd fallen in love. It was simpler, like the cheesy romance novels she'd dally in from time to time.

She wasn't naive; there were hardships ahead. Korra was stronger, and she was healing, but there was so much more ahead of them.

The truth was, Asami spent every blissful night fighting off the fears that it would all come crashing down in the morning. She wondered if that feeling would ever go away.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think? Also I've added this to a series because I have more of this story to tell. Hope you're as excited as I am ;)


	18. Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.”
> 
> ― André Berthiaume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Huge thank you to everyone who helped through this. Jtav for her early help in developing the idea. Apnsb for her CONSTANT help with the plot and scenes and characters. Without her there is no sequel. mixberkaan/sato-mobile/brightstarff for all their excellent betaing help along the way. And all of you for your outstanding support throughout. I hope you'll stick around for the sequel ;)

Warm days at the South Pole weren't exactly what Asami was accustomed to. Still, there certainly wasn't any lack of beautiful views, and when the sun was shining, Harbor City was always lively.

It was a good day. They had experienced more good days than bad lately, which had Asami feeling better in general.

"Mako sent a letter." Asami said, staring off at a few kids throwing snow at one another.

Korra groaned. "His letters are  _so_  boring." She laughed slightly. "I'm glad he writes but I don't care about the weather."

"Sunny," Asami began mimicking his voice. "Seventy-four degrees. Possible chance of rain tomorrow, according to the radio."

"We shouldn't poke fun," Korra laughed. "We both dated him." She groaned as she strained to look up at Asami above her. "You know, the worst part about all this is that we can't talk to each other."

Asami stopped pushing and glanced down. "We're talking right now." She grinned.

"I know, but it's… _awkward_." With a shrug, Korra reached down to shift one of her legs a bit.

"I thought awkward was your specialty?" Asami teased, leaning down to whisper into Korra's ear. "I mean I did catch you staring at my butt when I was cooking you dinner last night."

Korra's face went completely red. "I—I wasn't."

"Oh Korra," Asami kissed her cheek. "Your mom saw you doing it too."

"Spirits." Korra buried her face in her hands and Asami continued pushing her towards their destination. "You know I'm sitting down all the time so I'm like… _always_  at eye level with butts!" Korra defended. Asami bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Just butts, all the time. Right in my face."

"Yes, but Korra, I was halfway across the room when you were looking at my butt."

With a huff, Korra crossed her arms and pouted. "Fine, then I'll never look at your butt again."

As they reached a newsstand, Asami stopped pushing again and squeezed Korra's shoulder. "We both know that's not true," she said, but was a bit distracted by the varying newspapers and magazines staring back at her.

Asami felt Korra grab her hand and give it a soft squeeze. Her grip was nothing compared to what it used to be. Once strong enough to hold the world together, now barely enough to keep a tight hold on her utensils when she ate. It was little things like that which always brought Asami back down to earth when it came to Korra, reminding her how far Korra still had to go.

Korra said something, but Asami didn't hear it. Instead, her eyes dropped to the latest newspaper from Republic City. There was a picture of a man standing proudly next to President Raiko in front of a very large construction site.

_REPUBLIC CITY RECONSTRUCTION — OVERSEEN BY NEW CEO OF FUTURE INDUSTRIES_

It would have been easier to turn around and keep moving, but Asami couldn't stop herself. She reached out and grabbed the paper, reading the short teaser article on the front page.

 _President Raiko has been singing the praises of Future Industries for weeks leading up to the start of reconstruction within the city. Newly appointed Future Industries CEO Ken Hayashi has been given the president's full support_  —  _ **cont. p7**_

Asami knew it was fruitless to give any thought to this. It's not as if she could go back and reclaim her—the company. She didn't want to; her life was different now. Everything was different now.

She put the paper back on the newsstand and refocused on Korra. "Any magazines you want?" Asami asked, looking down to see that Korra was staring at the same paper Asami had just put back on the shelf. "Korra?"

"Hmm," Korra snapped out of her trance. "No, I—I'm okay."

Asami smiled brightly. "Great, let's go get some breakfast."

Kumagoro was one of the more popular places to eat in the South. They served a wide variety of foods, mostly specializing in fish and noodles, the latter of which was Korra's favorite meal at any given time in the day.

As they stepped inside, Asami scanned the area. It wasn't overly crowded but it would be nice to sit Korra somewhere out of the way, so no one tripped over her chair. She found a place toward the right side and stepped around Korra to move a chair out of the way. She then slid Korra up to the table before pushing the metal brakes into her tires.

"Do you want to take your jacket off? It's kinda warm in here," Asami asked, taking her own coat off.

Korra looked around a bit. Asami followed her gaze and saw another customer, an older man, glancing at them from across the restaurant. Asami made it a point to take a step between Korra and the man's eyes.

"I'm okay," Korra said softly.

Asami smiled down at her. "Korra, you're a human heater. I know this place is too warm for you."

"Oh alright." Korra couldn't help but smile at Asami's stance above her, a hand on her hip, knowing that Korra was lying. She lifted her arms and started pulling one out of the sleeve.

It was a delicate balance, to decide when to let Korra do things on her own and when to step in and help her. Korra was getting stronger, no doubt about that, but she had such a long ways to go. Asami wanted Korra to feel independent as often as possible. So she reached down and grabbed the end of the sleeve, holding it up as Korra slowly tugged her arm free.

Once the coat was off and Asami draped it across the back of Korra's wheelchair, she turned back to see that the man was still sending glances in their direction. Satisfied he wasn't, she sat down.

Oftentimes people would recognize Korra but then immediately brush it off because Korra was the Avatar, and the Avatar couldn't possibly be in such a state. It drove Asami crazy. It was the hardest part of going outside, for her: this idea that Korra wasn't the same person because she was in a chair, and the audacity of some people to think less of her for it.

If Asami had to hear one more phone call on the radio about the world needing a 'proper' Avatar, she was going to lose her mind, because as she sat down across the table, she could only see Korra. Beautiful Korra, whom she cared about so much, sitting in her chair, reading through the menu even though she knew exactly what she was going order. Korra, just a girl, dealing with so much and fighting so hard, with the understanding that the world was merely waiting for her so they could throw her to the wolves again.

Asami forced herself to stop, to focus on today and the fact that Korra wanted to go out to eat with her. It was a good day and she needed to treat it as such.

Just as Asami was about to announce her breakfast choice, Korra set her menu down and sighed.

"'Sami?" She was hesitant, her voice barely carrying across the table. "I saw the paper you were reading. The stuff about Future Industries."

Asami smiled, laying her menu down on the table. She shrugged. "It makes sense. The city needed refurbishing even  _before_  we left. Future Industries has the capability to do that."

A sorrowful expression crossed Korra's face, one Asami knew all too well. Hair cascaded down her face as she lowered her head and sighed.

"Asami," With shimmering eyes, Korra looked up. "Can I ask you a serious question? No brush off, no white lies. Just…tell me the truth?"

"Of course,"

Korra nodded, taking a deep breath. "Do you have any regrets about coming to the South with me? About giving up so much…for me?"

Asami gave a thoughtful look, staring into the blue eyes she'd come to know so well over the last six months.

"Korra?" Asami found herself chuckling. "What happened the last time we had this conversation?"

She blushed as she hid her face behind her menu. "We almost had sex," she mumbled.

" _We almost had sex_ ," Asami repeated a bit louder, and she could hear the man across the restaurant who'd been staring start choking on his water. "I promise you, no lies, no excuses to make you feel better. I am right where I want to be. Okay? You don't have to worry anymore. We're in this together."

Korra grinned bashfully over her menu and nodded. There was something in her eyes that Asami couldn't quite recognize, though she found it very playful.

They ordered food and Korra made a joke with the waitress about not tripping over her chair tires. It was funny, not dark like Korra's humor had been in the past about her disability. Once their orders were in, Asami felt Korra watching her and returned the favor.

"Whaaaatttt?" Asami teased, her own smile growing. Korra blushed again. "What has gotten  _into_  you?"

"I—I'm ready." Korra's voice was a bit shaky as she spoke, but she nodded to push her point across.

However, Asami had no idea what that point was. "For what? We can't leave, we just ordered our food!"

Korra rolled her eyes. " _No_! I'm ready to…you know—" Korra raised her eyebrows up and made some kind of gesture with her head. Asami followed the direction of her gesture, which was clearly not the intended purpose, and picked up a salt shaker.

"Do you want the salt? I don't think that will go well with your pancakes."

"Asami," Korra groaned, now pouting adorably. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

She continued to feign ignorance. "You want the pepper?" Asami picked up another shaker and held them both up. "This won't go well with your pancakes either."

"You're the worst," Huffing, Korra crossed her arms with a frown. Still, there was a glint in her eyes and Asami couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, you're going to have to be more specific." _Just say it, Korra_. Asami wasn't sure why, but she needed to hear it. Even if Korra wasn't fully comfortable saying it in a public restaurant, she needed the verbal confirmation that it was mutual.

Still, Korra continued pouting. "I want—" she sighed, staring at her lap. "I want to make love to you." Asami heard her, just barely. Certainly nobody else did. It made her heart leap into her throat.

The moment was so perfect-Korra was so cute, Asami couldn't help herself. "Right here?" She widened her eyes in shock. "I mean, I can lay you on this table but I think that man over there is going to start staring at us again."

" _Asamiiiii_ ," Korra whined, glaring across the table. "I"m serious! This is a big deal for me. I  _want_ …you."

Asami decided to give up her teasing and reached across the table with her palm facing up. Korra immediately laid a hand into her own. "I want you too. What do you say we eat first, then do the session with Katara, and after you take those steps today, I'll reward you for it."

Korra flushed again and Asami loved how easy it was to make that happen. "That would be nice. Though I can't promise you anything. I don't know what I'm doing at all or…what I can do."

"It's okay, we'll figure it out. We're good at that. There's no pressure." Asami felt herself giggling a little. "Well, maybe a little pressure, just in the right place." Again, Korra blushed, and she felt a little guilty. But it was so  _easy_.

"Will you  _stop_!" Korra cried, still trying to whisper as she sent Asami a look.

"Alright," Asami put her hands up as she saw the waitress coming over with their drinks. "I'll keep it in my pants."

Another heavy flush came and Korra glared at Asami, burying her face in her menu again.

By the time their food came, both of them were relaxed and Asami was watching Korra pour syrup over her pancakes in bulk.

As the tin of syrup nearly emptied, Korra peeked up at Asami guiltily. "Oh…did you…want some?"

"No, I don't need syrup on my eggs. I just…don't know why you ordered pancakes at all." Korra rolled her eyes before sliding her finger into the tin, dolloping a bit of syrup on her finger, and sticking it in her mouth.

Asami laughed, but the truth was, it was nice to see Korra eating so well. For a while she had lacked any real appetite, but that had seemingly passed as she shoveled a healthy amount of pancake into her mouth and smiled.

"What?" she mumbled, mouth full.

Asami shook her head with a grin. "Oh, nothing."

—

Asami couldn't help herself from being nervous. It was hard to watch Korra struggle so much. Her arms were shaking as she pushed up against the bars, trying desperately to stand. With her paws clattering against the wooden floor, Naga whined. Both of them were eager to see Korra do this.

"Close your eyes," Katara said, standing beside Korra who was taking slow, deep breaths. "Visualize yourself, walking over to Naga and Asami."  _Come on, Korra. Come on, Korra_. Asami closed her own eyes for a moment, trying to see it as well. "Can you see it?" Katara asked and Asami again looked at Korra.

"Yes," she answered quickly, her face calm.

Katara smiled slightly. "Now, take that first step."

Korra started to shake even more, beads of sweat building on her forehead and trickling down her face. She pursed her lips, and Asami could see she was digging deeper within herself. Perhaps deeper than she ever had before. It took everything Asami had not to scream encouragement at the top of her lungs.

Watching Korra try and take one step was agonizing; her whole body was putting in effort for just one step. Her foot started to move forward, falling softly against the floor. Asami knew that Korra was still holding most of her weight with her arms. She'd have to use her legs eventually, since her arms were starting to give out.

After a few more pained breaths, Korra planted her foot more firmly on the ground and lifted the other. Soon, they were falling one in front of the other, slowly, but they were holding weight. Her eyes were still closed, solely focused on each muscle in her body.

Once the steps became more prominent, Asami felt tears spring in her eyes. Korra was doing it, she was actually taking steps on her own. She stifled a gasp when Korra nearly fell. She jerked forward, but stopped herself when Korra seemed to hold on and rebalance.

"Come on, Korra," Asami whispered. She couldn't help herself. Korra's eyes opened, staring at her with gritted teeth as she pushed up and moved another foot forward.

Three steps later, she was at the end of the bars and falling into Naga's large body.

Katara was beaming, Asami was crying, and Naga laid her head across Korra's back comfortingly. Asami couldn't resist-she hugged both Naga and Korra, burying her face in Korra's shoulder.

"You did it, I'm so  _proud_  of you," Asami whispered, kissing Korra's cheek and down her jaw, kissing any part of Korra's face she could find.

When her eyes opened, tears streamed down her cheeks and Korra smiled. "I love you."

"Spirit, Korra I love you too." They kissed and after a few moments, Katara cleared her throat. Asami pulled away swiftly, certain her face was as red as Korra's. "Sorry," she mumbled, her body tingling.

"I should…sit," Korra said, her voice ragged as Asami raced over to get her chair. She helped Korra sit. Since most of the Avatar's energy went into those few steps, Asami did a lot of the work putting her in the chair.

Katara walked over and put a hand on Korra's shoulder. "That was a big first step, Korra. We'll continue this every other day—"

"No," Korra shook her head, wolf-tails swaying back and forth. "Every day. I'm ready. I want to be myself again."

Asami could see a bit of hesitation in Katara's face, but she nodded all the same. "Alright, we'll see how you feel in the morning. If you're okay, we'll go again."

Korra absolutely glowed, her smile as wonderful as Asami had ever seen it.

After a few more goodbyes and Katara hugging them both, Asami pushed Korra back to the palace. The more they moved together in silence, the heavier the air between them felt. Asami knew that Tonraq and Senna were going to be out all day. Tonraq had had a visit to the Northern Water Tribe planned for a while, which meant they were free for the rest of the afternoon.

Since breakfast this morning, Asami knew what they were headed towards. It was exciting and scary. It felt like the start of something new, maybe something forever. She wanted it to be that, despite the lingering fears in the back of her mind. There was so much left to do, so many more agonizing days of healing. Korra's body was getting better, but the rest of her was not. Not yet. It would be a fight, but Asami was ready for it, even if she had no idea what that might entail.

By the time they reached Korra's room, Asami was ready. She'd been ready for a while, but now it was real and they were ready to take this step together. Korra was ready.

Asami stopped, just inside the room and put her hands on either side of Korra's face, tilting her head back. She bent down and kissed her. It was an awkward position, but the kiss was deep and Korra was smiling against her lips. When she pulled back, the shade of blue staring up at her was darker.

"How do you want to do this?" Asami stepped around the chair, kneeling down in front of Korra. It brought with it a strange sense of deja vu, like a time warp to before Jinora's ceremony and how quiet Korra had been then. This time, Asami touched Korra's leg and felt the Avatar twitch slightly. Korra was definitely ready. "What do you want?"

Korra blushed slightly. "All of it, if—if you're up for it."

With a nod, Asami stood up and hooked her arm under Korra's leg, then one around her back. This felt different, not like before. The way Korra sank into her arms, nestled into her body, was a reminder of all the struggle before. Of quiet nights carrying Korra to the bathroom when she couldn't. That was all penance for this moment now, for how special it felt. Like they'd earned it, both of them, together.

Once Korra was settled onto the bed, she scooted herself back against the pillows and Asami started to unbutton her jacket. She let it fall off her back and to the floor, never taking her eyes off of Korra. A moment later, she untied her ponytail and flipped her hair, making Korra chew on her bottom lip.

"That hair," Korra sighed, smirking a bit.

Asami couldn't stop herself from chuckling. "My secret weapon."

Slowly, Asami crawled back onto the bed over Korra's legs. She leaned in on all fours and kissed her again, feeling Korra's hands go into her hair. When her arms started to tire, Asami sat back, still straddling Korra, and she reached for the tie of her fur pelt.

When it fell off, settling on either side of Korra's body, Asami ran her hands up under Korra's blue vest. Korra hissed at the contact; Asami's hands were no doubt cold against her always warm skin.

"Sorry," she said, though she wasn't all that sorry because Korra was suddenly panting, fighting to keep her eyes open. Removing her hands, Asami gently tugged the vest upward and Korra raised her tired arms up. Soon enough, it was gone.

Asami exhaled slowly, soaking in the sight of Korra sitting in front of her. Topless and unashamed, she was beautiful, despite the smatterings of small, faint scars. Just above her hip, Asami could see the deepest of them, and she reached out and traced her thumb along it. Each touch and sound Korra made nearly suffocated her.

It was hot, too hot, and Asami pulled her own top off, throwing it on the floor before she pushed forward and captured Korra's mouth with a searing kiss.

"I want," Korra settled back a bit, "You. Let's do it."

All pretense faded with those three words. Asami smirked with a quick nod before dropping her lips to the valley between Korra's breasts. The Avatar cried out, tangling her fingers in Asami's hair and very gently guiding her downward. Asami settled her hands on Korra's hips, carefully pulling her out from the pillows so she was lying more on her back. She peeked up for a moment.

"This okay? You want me to fix the pillow or—"

Korra rolled her eyes with a grin. "Take my pants off, please."

Asami found herself laughing and slipping her fingers beneath the hem of Korra's sweats. She slid them off slowly, intentionally slow to grate against the slight impatience that was radiating from the girl she loved. Once they were gone, Asami laid a hand across Korra's ankle.

"You feel that?" she asked, rubbing her thumb back and forth. Korra nodded, wiggling her toes around. "Good." Asami then replaced her hand with her tongue and slowly dragged it up Korra's calf and onto her inner thigh.

"Ah!" Korra moaned, giggling a bit. "You are  _evil_ ," she teased and Asami stared up at her, still continuing the assault on every inch of Korra's skin she could find. Once she was satisfied, she stopped, suddenly met with the most intimate part of Korra's body. That was when the wave of nervousness hit her, along with the anxiety that this was Korra's first time and how much it mattered to Asami that it be perfect.

A lump built in her throat. She tried to swallow it down and that gave her away.

"You okay?" Korra asked and Asami glanced up at her. "Is it…am I—"

"It's not you," Asami started, her heart racing. "It's just a little overwhelming, because it's you and me and it's… _us_. You know?" Korra nodded, still looking a little unsure. "Tell me if I'm doing okay."

Korra's eyes widened a bit. "Asami, I—I've never done anything like this before. Right now I'm just holding my breath and hoping I don't have a heart attack."

The relief those words gave her was more than she expected. Asami wasn't sure why she expected Korra to be any less afraid than she was. It was as if she needed to be reminded that they were in this together, like they had been through everything else together.

The fear washed away.

Korra didn't last very long, and Asami hadn't expected her to once she started. This was new to them both and Asami was not a very skilled lover, but she knew enough to make Korra squirm and shudder. It was more pleasurable to give than she expected. Hearing Korra call her name, grab her hair and swivel her hips at certain actions was intoxicating.

The pants and gasps that accompanied Korra's release sounded like music, and it was Asami's favorite song. As Korra came down, Asami kissed her pubic bone and dropped kisses all the way back up before stopping just before her lips.

Korra's eyes were heavy, her chest rising and falling and her face sated with satisfaction. A smile twitched in her expression, she blinked slowly. "Wow," she gasped, making Asami chuckle.

"Yeah?" Korra nodded, a strangled groan escaping.

"You were—that was—"

"Wow?" Asami smiled and Korra again nodded. She then dropped a kiss on Korra's parted lips and rested their foreheads together. "Good, I wanted you to enjoy it."

"Now you," Korra said and Asami was taken back a bit. "I want to do the same for you. I need to know that I can."

This was unexpected. Asami wasn't going to say no, though-spirits, there was no way, but she had only thought as far as being there for Korra. "Okay, what…what do you want me to do?"

Korra smirked. "Is this a serious question or do you want me to give you a dirty answer?"

"No, you brat!" Asami swatted her playfully. "How do you want me?" she asked the question before she thought about it and suddenly flushed furiously, burying her face in Korra's shoulder. "I can't believe I just said that."

Despite the laughter from Korra, she could feel a pair of hands sliding up and down the bare skin of her back. "Take your pants off for me." Korra whispered, into her hair, removing her hands as Asami rolled off the bed.

Doing as directed, Asami stood up and pushed her pants down and glanced back to see Korra struggling to sit herself back up.

"Oh, will you let me help, you've done enough today, Avatar." She pulled Korra up to the pillows, her pants half off, and rolled her eyes. "If you want to do more with Katara tomorrow, you'd better not wear yourself out."

Korra grimaced. "Can we…not talk about my past life's wife while we're naked."

The awkwardness bled over. "Okay, yeah I can get on board with that." Once her pants were gone, Asami stood awkwardly at the side of the bed. "Now what?"

"Like before," Korra patted her lap. "I—I have an idea." Asami quirked a brow and did as asked, straddling Korra's lap with a leg on either side. "Asami you're so…amazing. I can't believe I get to see you like this."

Asami grinned and grabbed one of Korra's hands. "Not just see, you can  _touch_  to." She pulled the hand to her breast and Korra's breath caught in her throat. "Now…what did you have in mind?"

"Right," Korra nodded, sliding her hand down Asami's stomach. "Just…hold yourself up a little." She said, and Asami lifted up onto her knees as Korra's hand started to shake the lower it reached.

Reaching out, Asami planted her hands on the headboard of the bed to stay upright and her face was inches from Korra's. "Go ahead," she whispered, feeling Korra's fingers on her stomach. A moment later, they trailed down and found the moist, slick petals of Asami's lower body.

"T—tell me what to do?" Korra breathed, and Asami felt her eyes clamp shut, the sensations about to consume her.

"Just move, soft and steady. I won't be long."

Korra nodded and leaned in, clamping her mouth on the juncture of Asami's neck and shoulder. She did as directed, just moved, and eventually her fingers found the right spot and a good enough pace to drive Asami over the edge.

Her moans were much louder than Korra's-she couldn't hold them in. They were strangled cries as Korra pulled away and look into her eyes, making sure she was okay. They stared at one another as Asami came, her body a quivering mess as wave after wave of pleasure settled over her. Korra removed her hand just in time to catch Asami as she slid down and laid against her. Korra cradled her close and Asami kissed Korra's bicep close to her face.

"Korra," Asami said finally, "I love you."

Fingers played through her hair. "I love you too."

—

If she had to guess, Korra figured it had been four hours now since she and Asami had decided to go to sleep. Their day had been seemingly perfect. She took steps, her first real steps in months, and it felt so wonderful. What followed might have been better. Sex was never something Korra considered much, not even when she was with Mako. Asami was different, though. She was soft and constantly doing little things that sent images and desires into Korra's mind that she didn't expect.

The experience itself was not at all like she expected, that feeling of control when Asami was hovering over her, as Korra manipulated her with nothing more than a few fingers. It was incredible. The best element she'd ever mastered was those sounds and looks Asami gave her.

Which was why she felt so miserable now. Lying awake in the middle of the night, listening to the soft breathing of the girl next to her, fast asleep. Korra wanted to be asleep with her, cuddled up next to her. Like it was supposed to be.

She wasn't though. Instead she was awake, trying to pretend that those glowing eyes in the corner of the room weren't staring at her. That they hadn't been staring at her for the last few hours now. She was exhausted, and she was trying to remember how great of a day she'd had. The breakfast she had with Asami, the steps she took with Katara, the bliss she'd felt just a few hours ago. None of it came, though; all she could feel were those eyes, staring through her from the corner of the room through the darkness, reminding her of how far she'd fallen. Showing her the loss of control she felt, the fear she'd faced, the pain she'd suffered. It hurt, the poison and the fight, it hurt so much.

 _You would have been better to die on that rock._ Korra closed her eyes, fighting those thoughts away. She looked to Asami next to her, a lifeline. Asami needed her, loved her, and she had to stay strong for her.

_You'll get her killed too. Everyone wants to hurt the Avatar. Because you don't matter anymore. The world doesn't need you. You can't save anybody. Not her, not the air nation. You can't even save yourself._

Tears started to fall again and Korra loathed them. She was tired of crying. Tired of falling back into this same pit over and over again.

With all the energy she had, Korra pushed herself up and tried not to wake Asami. Her chair was close enough to reach out and grab. She pulled at her legs and swung them over the bed. They had feeling and could move, but they were heavy, like the chains that were latched to them when she was carried away from her father. Away from everyone she loved and brought into that cave to be hurt, tortured and killed.

Korra jerked as the glowing eyes in the corner seemed to be moving in closer. She looked over at the figure standing watch over her. It wasn't real. She reminded herself this over and over again.

She pulled the chair close to the bed and used all her upper body strength to swing herself into it. Plopping down into the seat, Korra continued to stare at the floor. She suddenly felt less vulnerable out of bed. As if she could defend herself more.

_You can't defend yourself at all._

Putting her hands on the wheels, she pushed out of the bedroom and towards the balcony at the back. Air was all she needed, a little fresh air and a reminder that she was safe. She pushed right past the figure, glowing eyes staring down at her. Korra ignored it as best she could. They weren't real, none of it was real. She was safe and Asami was waiting in her bed. Nobody was coming after her, nobody was going to hurt her.

Pushing the balcony door open, Korra rolled out into the chilly night air. Her simple white tank top and shorts were hardly enough cover as the cold air settled in. Still, she welcomed it. The sensations it brought bit away the nightmarish thoughts that never seemed to stay gone for long.

Her body was healing, her strength was returning. Just the fact that she was out here was a testament to how much she'd overcome.

Yet, as she stared off at the beautiful night of the place she grew up in, the safety of it all vanished as the figure stalked up next to her, standing at her side. Korra glanced over, seeing the chain wrapped around its wrist, dangling to the floor. It felt so real, she almost thought she could reach out and touch it.

The fear returned, and Korra refocused on the lights dancing in the sky.

_You're not the Avatar anymore._


End file.
